Is this a crazy way to live or am I just jealous?

Wow. They seem SO happy. You; not so much. And it’s absolutely nothing to do with you. Period.

Brother sounds lovely and looks like he's tolerant of his batshit sister's opinions.

Yes you are being unreasonable . My kids are all adults. I left work 19 years ago and just never went back 🤷

Unlikely. He’s besotted.

What a vile comment!

Wait until they split up and she will need to find someone else to sponge off. But that’s fine as long as it’s not the taxpayer. Their business.

It’s funny that you say it’s “not realistic” for most 40 somethings to have a spare room… it obviously is reality for them!

Regarding this nonsense saying the SIL should get a job, she needs the education she is undergoing to get a decent job. How ridiculous it is to expect people to give up the studies which enable them to get a good job so they can work in some low wage job.

Lol the OP is never coming back 😂

What is wrong with you? They can live however they want and it is not your business. You despise their happiness because you are unhappy in your job. You are judgemental and intrusive. I really hope you do not go great lengths to make this happy couple miserable.

How do you know she's lazy and unmotivated? You don't know what she's studying for, or how far she walks in a day, so what qualifies you to make these accusations?

Why? If they can live happily on one salary - as we do - then why should it bother you?

Spot on

Not necessarily. I mentioned being a happy SAHM once and was told I must have no self respect, I was probably boring and had nothing to talk about and that they felt sorry for my husband for having the financial burden all on him, by multiple posters!
People are knobheads.
They wouldn't have said anything to your face if they met you though!!

The difference is though is that any thread with the SAHM's is that they are usually asking for advice because they have found themselves in a predicament

Not necessarily. I mentioned being a happy SAHM once and was told I must have no self respect, I was probably boring and had nothing to talk about and that they felt sorry for my husband for having the financial burden all on him, by multiple posters!
ETA I should have said I was a happy dog mum (I do actually have a dog!), I’d have got more support 😉

I completely agree that their set up is entirely up to them and that it sounds great. However there’s a fairly stark difference on here to basically any thread with SAHMs, where they’re often told that they shouldn’t be letting a man keep them and they should get a job and contribute to the family finances, it’s not fair for the man to carry the financial burden etc.
The difference is though is that any thread with the SAHM's is that they are usually asking for advice because they have found themselves in a predicament.
On this post someone is sticking their beak into someone's byusness without knowing all the facts.
We don't know SIL's financial situation apart from the fact she is currently studying.

Because she's a grown , married woman now who needs to grow up and get a job in the real world like everyone else! Sounds like she's wanting to stay a student forever..she sounds completely immature and child like.
The ops post could be about my aunty. My aunt and uncle lived in a huge house with no children. They hardly told anyone that they were desperate for them.
My aunty seemed to be livng the good life like SIL but she didn't disclose until she had to about her MS and that was when it was so bad it was clear something was badly wrong.
She couldn't work because of her blinding headaches that were unpredictable and her wobbliness that sometimes happened and so on
When she wasn't good we didn't see her and she would say she was busy
We didn't find out all these things until after her death.

The point of this is you have absolutely no idea what's going on to pass judgement about someone that may or may not exist and saying that they should work is bonkers!

I've already shared my thoughts in this thread.
It seems like many are turning against OP's SIL and DB.
OP's DB and SIL are in a much better position than those who rely on state benefits and choose not to work despite being capable. They aren't draining resources from the state to support their lifestyle, unlike others.
Those making baseless claims about OP's SIL, such as saying she will be destitute after a divorce, are mistaken. She won't be; she'll receive half of her DH's assets and could live off state benefits if she wanted.
Some people are showing fake concern over OP's SIL's financial situation and making assumptions about it. From OP's post, it seems her SIL studies from home, which suggests she could be enrolled in Open University or another highly rated online university. Her studies could be funded by herself through smart financial choices in the past, or she might come from a very wealthy family. No need to assume she needs her DH to pay for it, as she appears to be financially savvy.

Tbf she may have her own sources of passive income that OP isn’t aware of.

Sounds perfect. They happy that's all that matters. I'm crazy I suppose as I dropped a days work for the NHS and spend the day crafting... background I lost a close friend aged 44 (my age at that time...just dropped dead due to a unknown medical situation) which shock me to the core and decided I'd work four days extra hours and take one day off to spend with friends crafting. Best decision ever. I'm more relaxed and I'm a better mum and wife

If he's really happy with being the one who brings home the bacon then so be it.

Lol. No, she doesn’t ’need’ to do that at all.

YABU - If they can afford it and her husband is happy to support her, why do you care? Seems totally weird to me that you would have this strong of an opinion. Get over yourself!
Plenty of people have this arrangement (admittedly usually when they have children), I don't get what the big deal is

This has to be fake. First of all why shouldn't they have a 3 bedroom house and how is it any of your business how their bedrooms are used?

And exactly wtf is wrong with being a mature student? Yeah, she should go out and work a random job that she hates right now rather than study for what she really wants to do just because Nurseamy87 hates her job 👍🏻 sorry but the fact that you obviously hate your job so much is not her or your brother's fucking problem. It's none of anyone's business whether someone works/is a SAHM or whatever else as long as the people who are actually in the relationship are happy with it.

I'm a mature student (26) and I don't work, my DH is the only one working. I do have 3 kids though, so do I still need to 'get a job like the rest of us have to'?

Why? She doesn’t need the money, her husband is happy with the situation,
she has her hobby, her studying and her dog to occupy herself and she’s not in the best of health. Sounds a bit like a lot of people’s retirement, but maybe you’d have us early retirees working til we’re 67!

(My comment here is theoretical of course,
if OP’s situation was real)

You are just jealous.com
Leave them be. You don’t know what lies round the corner. One minute i was working, next minute, I’m off on long term sick with cancer. Lives can change in a heartbeat! ( I have a spare room!)