Is this a crazy way to live or am I just jealous?

@Nurseamy87 you sound so bitter and jealous.

They sound happy, how they live is none of your business.

Rather than criticising their life choices look at how you can make your life better/easier.

I wouldn't work if I didn't have to! Yabvj!

But she doesn’t need to get a job does she? Your brother can support both and then and is happy to do so. They are happy.

It’s really none of your business. You sounds very bitter and jealous. You are the problem,

Are you jealous???

That's one of the most vile opening posts I have ever seen.

@Nurseamy87 your dh earns less than hers, your brother, doesn't he?

We are the architects of our own lives.

I feel sorry for you to be so eaten up with envy and bitterness.

Your SIL is making herself vulnerable by staying out of the labor market entirely, but if the household only needs one income there really is nothing wrong with living on one income. It can improve the quality of life for both parties. There comes a point where time is more valuable than money.

I mean, there are literal billionaires who don't work and don't just have spare rooms, but hundreds of spare properties. Why are you so jealous of your SIL having a small three bed house?

Mind your own bloody business. They clearly have a marriage that works and your brother has said he’s happy to support her. Trying to drive a wedge between them because of your very apparent and petty jealousy isn’t on. Catch yourself on before they realise what’s going on and cut you out of their lives.

If DP earned enough for me not to work, I'd love it. I'd love to look after my dog full time! I'd also be more than happy for him to give up work and me support him, if I knew I'd have a lovely tidy house all the time, my dog was kept occupied, and he was happy and less stressed.

I'd also be really bloody annoyed if anyone, but especially my family, was judging the size of my house. The two offices just sounds common sense. It's the setup DP and I have at home. Putting aside the fact that it's hard to concentrate on a lengthy report while someone next to you is on Teams, your brother likely wants privacy while he makes work calls.

If they're not harming you, why do you care?

Three bedrooms is hardly excessive!

Back when I was young in the 1970s, it was quite usual in my regular middle class upbringing for people to live in 3, 4 (or 5, shock horror) bedroom houses and the woman not to work. Admittedly most were mothers but some weren't (though usually fertility issues and most did end up having one child later in life, either naturally or adopted). It was just called being a wife or housewife then, no need to justify one's existence with dog mum or studying.

This is so funny... just because you're jealous doesn't mean it's 'crazy'!? Good for them, they're clearly happy.

Do think it's odd that you appear to think that a couple without children should... only live in a one-bed property? DH and I have a three bed house - one bedroom, and then one 'office' each for our hobbies. No spare bedroom - everyone lives nearby enough we don't need one, and we bought a house specifically big enough for our hobby stuff.

Jealous much. Both are happy with the arrangement it’s not your life so let them get on with it!

I mean… yeah, you do sound as if you are jealous. If your DB and DSiL are happy, what does it matter? We all die in the end and you don’t get a prize for spending much of your life slogging away at a job you don’t enjoy.

It sounds like you need to significantly overhaul your own life in some way. If I were you I’d try and work out what it was I really wanted from my life (being honest with yourself, if you can, not getting caught up in what you’re “supposed” to do/want) and then make plans to get closer to that.

Is your DH happy with the life you share? Or does he feel the same as you? Would he be amenable to potentially a major life change? Eg you working fewer hours/in a different field, even if it means having to downsize; moving somewhere else where the cost of living is lower etc

I don’t think a 3 bed house is strange for a couple. Having an office and a space for hobbies is nice and quite normal. Why should they have to live in a smaller place just because they don’t have children.

she is not staying at home without a job, she is a student.

yabu. I live alone in a three bed house should I move to a one bed or a studio? Does that fit your beliefs for housing?

yes you sound jealous. Your brother is happy that should be enough

Wondering why they own a three bed house is daft. Even if they didn't need or use their spare bedrooms at all, it's all about the downstairs space. It stands to reason that most one and two bed houses will be smaller downstairs than a three or four bed, because of footprint size. Just because they don't need umpteen bedrooms for children doesn't mean you won't want a large kitchen or a decent sized lounge, and you tend to only find those in houses of three beds or more.

Omg. That is the bitterest, most jealous thing I've ever read. Bitter, bitter, bitter. So judgy, and yet it sounds like you don't even know what your SIL is studying for? Maybe she's re-training in something so she can go back out to work. I'd hate to have you as a SIL begrudging my every move. You make yourself sound very small. Presuming your SIL isn't evil and hasn't done anything terrible to you, why can't you be happy for her? Or does everyone have to be miserable because you are? A very unattractive trait.

Well, they seem to be happy about it though? It would be different if they had financial problems and your brother was complaining. This is not the case and your Sil is just lucky to have a husband who wants (and has the means) to support her being a lady of leisure.

The average house in the UK is a three bedroom. I’d say very few one bedroom houses come up for sale.

Beyond that they are happy. Please take some of their positive vibes and pour happiness into your life!

I'm envious, sounds lovely, good for them. Jealousy is a natural emotion, but whinging about her being crazy, stupid and needs to get a job is a bit bitchy. The full-time dog mum, is just a tongue in cheek comment. She's keeping the house nice, she's studying, she's fulfilled and your brother is happy.
Don't besmirch them that, or at least keep the seething internal.

Yep, jealous.

If they are both happy then it's absolutely none of your business.
I'd just think 'good for them' personally.
You need to work on your own situation if it's making you unhappy.. not try and bring down others or waste energy resenting what they have

3 bedrooms is hardly excessive. Your brother is happy and has a ‘peaceful life’ - honestly you sound jealous and their life choices are none of your business. If you’re unhappy with your life choices, do something about it.

She and my brother have no children, yet inexplicably own a 3 bedroom house

Not really "inexplicable" though is it? They own a 3 bedroom house because they want the space and they can afford it. Do you think only people with children should be allowed to have spare rooms?

Personally, I wouldn't want your SIL's life. I love my job, I find it interesting and rewarding, and I like the feeling of earning my own money. But I don't generally get worked up about other people's choices unless they're negatively impacting others. if she's happy, your Brother is happy and no one else is affected then what's the problem? The phrase "full time dog mum" is irritatingly twee, I'll give you that. But you need to reflect on why your SIL's lifestyle makes you so angry. I'll give you a hint, it's not really about your SIL. If you were happy in your own life and work you simply wouldn't give a shit.

You’re jealous. Own it and work through it. She has a lovely sounding life I’m jealous too!