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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Loud Long Fart

208 replies

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:14

Aibu to be livid over this encounter?

I was shopping today and as I passed a man he let out a very loud and very long fart right as I was level with him in the aisle. There’s no way it was accidental as it sounded very forced.

Makes me think that some men just hate women and do things like this to make them feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:
SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 09/07/2025 18:47

He was clearly attempting to assert dominance. A good long burp is surely the only correct response.

SharpLily · 09/07/2025 18:45

I think age might be a factor here. When I was young I had no trouble holding in a fart. Since menopause hit, I have certain medications I have to take and I'm no longer skinny, I don't have that kind of control. I remember my mother being the kind of woman to pretend farts didn't exist but as she got older they would slip out involuntarily, despite what were presumably heroic efforts at holding it in. Wait until some of these flustered farters get older and the same happens to them. How will they be able to live with themselves?😱

I just can't be bothered with feeling needless shame for doing something none of us can help doing and all do, even if we pretend we don't.

Weepixie · 09/07/2025 18:43

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:33

You can tell it’s forced when it goes on for about 20 seconds at full volume when he’s right beside me in the aisle of a shop.

I think you’re mistaken. Loose sphincter muscles could very easily account for an even longer toot than the one you heard today and it wouldn’t be forced at all.

HunnyPot · 09/07/2025 18:40

How could you hear a fart, forced or otherwise, in a supermarket with all the other noises going on?

DontStopMe · 09/07/2025 18:40

I can believe it. I was waiting at a train station one day when a man walked along the platform, stopped directly in front of me, farted then walked on. It was not a long one thankfully. 20 seconds and I might have managed to think of something appropriate to say.

XenoBitch · 09/07/2025 18:39

Better to fart and feel the shame than hold it in and feel the pain.

I would have come up with something funny to say afterwards... such as 'a bit less choke next time'

dontforgetme · 09/07/2025 18:38

@mutinyonthetwix my 8 year old lad is 😂

MarxistMags · 09/07/2025 18:37

I was stretching across another customer in Asda last week when I started to cough. And I let go a ripper.
I left.,...

Velmy · 09/07/2025 18:37

Think of everything the Suffragette Movement went through, just for you to suffer a jet movement.

SerafinasGoose · 09/07/2025 18:36

EnjoyingTheArmoire · 09/07/2025 18:33

Perhaps he was trying to communicate with you via Morse Code, and had reached a particularly long 'dash'?

SOS - Save arrrrrrrrrrrrrrsoles.

I'll get me coat.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 09/07/2025 18:34

SaxaSoLo · 09/07/2025 18:20

Not embroidering the OPs tale however I have known men do this. General clues are stopping near you, standing closer than is normal, angling arse or waiting until you are level then making eye contact and/or smirking at you as you pass to get/gauge reaction. So, can be a ‘thing’ not main character syndrome or unfortunate medical circumstances. @WhatTheHelll I get you.

That’s usually tragic boyfriends not randomers.

Some people don’t care, some people really can’t help it, but it’s doubtful, as a PP brilliantly put it, that it was a targeted attack.

FlatErica · 09/07/2025 18:34

SharpLily · 09/07/2025 18:09

Ah yes, Mumsnet, where farts are the work of the devil and should be the cause of a divorce rather than a perfectly natural bodily function. Where these delicate laydees always but always leave the room to perform their gas expulsion in private rather than inflict it upon anyone else. Apparently they always know it's coming.

I think we've found out why it took so long to say the word 'periods' on TV and why sanpro ads always used to be so twee. Some people are horrified by the fact that some aspects of human life aren't always pretty.

I think this OP is a child posting.

EnjoyingTheArmoire · 09/07/2025 18:33

Perhaps he was trying to communicate with you via Morse Code, and had reached a particularly long 'dash'?

Walkden · 09/07/2025 18:33

You are letting your misandry shine through, OP.

Over40Overdating · 09/07/2025 18:33

I am a prolific farter thanks to a high fibre diet and diabetic meds, and I often let rip in public because if I didn’t my head would blow off.

Not once have I ever managed to target anyone, no matter how much I’d like to be able to do it on command.

I’ve also never managed 20 seconds - I feel like that much wind going out would collapse my body like a vacuum pack bag having the air sucked out.

If it was deliberate I take my hat off to his superior sphincter control.

lifeonmars100 · 09/07/2025 18:33

lemoncake29 · 09/07/2025 17:51

I’m laughing out loud at ‘targeted attack’ 😂😂😂

He should be employed by MI5 or maybe not, unless he learns to be silent but deadly in true espionage style

SerafinasGoose · 09/07/2025 18:32

I now have an earworm. 'Ben Nevis', by the Macc Lads.

Thanks for that, OP! 😂

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 09/07/2025 18:31

AramintaBottersnike · 09/07/2025 17:43

You've reminded me of the time I was in the checkout queue at Waitrose with DD, who was around 3. There was an older lady in front of us who was about to pay and she let out a short, but noisy, one. DD turned to me and, at the top of her voice said "mummy, that lady just farted!" Blush
Maybe the lady just hated children Grin

Well she did after being called by your DD!

VioletsandDill · 09/07/2025 18:30

You should have responded with a loud and long queef to assert dominance.

Seriously OP, some people can't help it. I myself let out what I thought would be a silent one at a bus stop 10 years ago. Readers, it was not silent. And I will forever remember.

SerafinasGoose · 09/07/2025 18:30

I couldn't not laugh. I know he might have a medical complaint and not be able to help it. But c'mon, when was a rasper ever not funny?

Yep, I'm unrepentently childish. Sometimes you've just got to find joy in the small stuff! 😜

shellyleppard · 09/07/2025 18:29

I used to work as a home carer. Looked after a lady who was a bit posh. She used to hold her wind in alll morning. Soon as she got home and we had her on the toilet.....💨💨💨💨💨💨💨 It would have killed my guts to hold a fart in for five hours!!

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 09/07/2025 18:29

My daughter could and would definitely do this (she is 7 and farts like a trumbone, I've had her checked out and she's got no dietary issues, it's genuinely mad the frequency, sound and length). Some people are really farty unfortunately. I really doubt it was "at" you, but it's still gross. Maybe he's reached a stage where he no longer bothers to hide it. A boy at school used to do this and would just say "it's a natural bodily function, better out than in". It takes all sorts to make the world.....

CoralOP · 09/07/2025 18:29

SharpLily · 09/07/2025 18:09

Ah yes, Mumsnet, where farts are the work of the devil and should be the cause of a divorce rather than a perfectly natural bodily function. Where these delicate laydees always but always leave the room to perform their gas expulsion in private rather than inflict it upon anyone else. Apparently they always know it's coming.

I think we've found out why it took so long to say the word 'periods' on TV and why sanpro ads always used to be so twee. Some people are horrified by the fact that some aspects of human life aren't always pretty.

Love it 😆😆👌

CoralOP · 09/07/2025 18:27

My mum used to openly fart loudly in public, very embarrassing and annoying but never once was it an act of hate towards the opposite sex.
Maybe get some therapy to deal with your hatred issues towards men and what you think they are trying to do to you.

shellyleppard · 09/07/2025 18:27

@TheGigoloAunt slightly ironic advert placing....