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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Loud Long Fart

208 replies

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:14

Aibu to be livid over this encounter?

I was shopping today and as I passed a man he let out a very loud and very long fart right as I was level with him in the aisle. There’s no way it was accidental as it sounded very forced.

Makes me think that some men just hate women and do things like this to make them feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Zebedee999 · 09/07/2025 22:14

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 09/07/2025 17:28

A guy farts in front of you so he hates women??

MN gets weirder by the day I swear.

Maybe he thought it was safe and would be a silent one? We have all been caught out by those sneaky bastards 😂

Well I saw a man on a bus today so there is your clear evidence that men hate women. Case closed.

Ilovemyshed · 09/07/2025 22:09

megacat · 09/07/2025 21:20

Can I suggest that you do some research on colostomy bags.

They make sound that is entirely uncontrollable and extremely embarrassing for the person.

As such it limits your life as the worry of making the sound in public places or even worse, having a leak, stops you from being able to enjoy a normal life.

Imagine living that life then some uneducated pearl clutcher writes a post about you on a forum? Usually after suffering the horror of bowel cancer, then having to deal with fools like yourself.

This.

I hope the OP has part of a bowel removed and has a colostomy or ileostomy bag sometime.

ZERO control on the timing and noise of passing wind.

Not so funny then is it?

rommymummy · 09/07/2025 22:09

I was crop dusting just a few hours ago in Asda.

Matsukaze · 09/07/2025 22:05

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:33

You can tell it’s forced when it goes on for about 20 seconds at full volume when he’s right beside me in the aisle of a shop.

What aisle was it? The beans aisle? Or was he stocking up on Wind-Eze in the medicines section?

Growlybear83 · 09/07/2025 22:04

Unless it was a woman who was wearing thick tights - they would swell up like hot air balloons if they were filled with a five minute fart 😆😆

XenoBitch · 09/07/2025 22:02

Growlybear83 · 09/07/2025 22:01

😮😮😮😮😮 FIVE MINUTES?? now that’s seriously impressive.

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I bet they looked like a popped balloon afterwards 😆

Growlybear83 · 09/07/2025 22:01

ConnieHeart · 09/07/2025 21:39

No, the world record is something like 5 minutes. We have a game called Shot in the Dark & this was one of the questions we had to guess

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😮😮😮😮😮 FIVE MINUTES?? now that’s seriously impressive.

Growlybear83 · 09/07/2025 21:59

Falingoth · 09/07/2025 21:57

He cocked his leg up.

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That doesn’t mean it was forced. Most men are incapable of farting without raising a leg.

Falingoth · 09/07/2025 21:57

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 09/07/2025 17:20

How can you tell it was forced? Confused

He cocked his leg up.

Tiddlywinkly · 09/07/2025 21:56

ZamaZama · 09/07/2025 20:13

I’ve had men belch in my face before as they walk past, smirks and body language confirming that it was very much deliberate. So, while it’s impossible to say in this case, I can well believe it happens.

A man didn't belch in my face, but he deliberately let out a really big belch nearby with a smirk. It's definitely a thing for some men - disrespectful.

CunningLinguist2 · 09/07/2025 21:55

Also, if it was 20 seconds long, why didn’t you leg it?

CunningLinguist2 · 09/07/2025 21:55

Ah, but did he snap?

honestly, just unfortunate & I feel more sorry for the poor guy. My dad was mortified when he couldn’t control his bowel/farts/stoma bag.

Mistyglade · 09/07/2025 21:52

HelpMeGetThrough · 09/07/2025 21:44

I think the farter needs the NHS, not OP.

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Meant 999 really didn’t I!

HelpMeGetThrough · 09/07/2025 21:44

Mistyglade · 09/07/2025 21:34

Call 111 about this targeted attack on your liberties.

I think the farter needs the NHS, not OP.

ConnieHeart · 09/07/2025 21:39

PolyVagalNerve · 09/07/2025 17:40

Hang on … 20 seconds you say ??
like 1… elephant .. 2 .. elephant all the way up to 20 ??
that’s gotta a work record !!

No, the world record is something like 5 minutes. We have a game called Shot in the Dark & this was one of the questions we had to guess

PopeJoan2 · 09/07/2025 21:37

This is why I love MN so much. This thread has brought me to tears of laughter.

On a serious note the poor man might have IBS or something and can’t control
his farts.

Mistyglade · 09/07/2025 21:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

You’ve just made me loudly laugh and I’m trying to get DS to go to bloody sleep! 🤣

yeehawl · 09/07/2025 21:37

Lolllllllllllll

Klp122 · 09/07/2025 21:36

Second fart troll thread of this evening Hmm

Mistyglade · 09/07/2025 21:34

Call 111 about this targeted attack on your liberties.

MyCyanReader · 09/07/2025 21:33

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:33

You can tell it’s forced when it goes on for about 20 seconds at full volume when he’s right beside me in the aisle of a shop.

Did he have one hand in a pocket?

Look out for yourself on Instagram! Lots of fake fart channels!

Aniceempirebiscuitandacupoftea · 09/07/2025 21:33

Were there any other people in the aisle or were you the sole audience? Maybe avoid that supermarket in future in case old farty pants attacks you again. 😂😂

godmum56 · 09/07/2025 21:31

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:33

You can tell it’s forced when it goes on for about 20 seconds at full volume when he’s right beside me in the aisle of a shop.

You stood right next to him and timed him.? Really???

HelpMeGetThrough · 09/07/2025 21:28

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:33

You can tell it’s forced when it goes on for about 20 seconds at full volume when he’s right beside me in the aisle of a shop.

I can fart that long without forcing it.

My arse is like an orchestra.

Gilead · 09/07/2025 21:27

I have farted frequently in shops, I had absolutely no control, used to shit myself too. I now have a stoma which farts unpredictably!