Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Loud Long Fart

208 replies

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:14

Aibu to be livid over this encounter?

I was shopping today and as I passed a man he let out a very loud and very long fart right as I was level with him in the aisle. There’s no way it was accidental as it sounded very forced.

Makes me think that some men just hate women and do things like this to make them feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
FrazzledHippy · 11/07/2025 05:41

Matsukaze · 10/07/2025 23:34

After seeing a few references to that I've had to look it up and I've spent the last 20 mins in tears 🤣

Show quote history

It's one of those threads that stays with you! 😂

Matsukaze · 10/07/2025 23:34

FrazzledHippy · 10/07/2025 09:07

Maybe he just snapped and farted 🤷‍♀️

After seeing a few references to that I've had to look it up and I've spent the last 20 mins in tears 🤣

Mistyglade · 10/07/2025 09:42

HelpMeGetThrough · 10/07/2025 08:51

I guess Raynor Winn is looking for a new book idea now, here we have it….

The Long Fart, a heartbreaking story of walking past a man on a costal path who “force farted” for 20 seconds.

🤣 topical.

zingally · 10/07/2025 09:38

I'm close to 100% sure I couldn't conjure up a 20 second fart to order...

Gotta say, "man farting in shop" to "he must hate women" is an big leap.

Personally, I do my best farts when walking out to my car after work. Sometimes it's in time with my footsteps! I hold them in if there's people around, if not, I let them fly!

KimberleyClark · 10/07/2025 09:34

You can definitely tell - there's an effort at the end that changes the pitch, like if a trumpeter starts blowing harder.

Or sometimes it comes out sounding Australian, with an interrogative rise at the end?

Gym changing room last week, accidentally let one out as I bent over to tie my shoelace. Followed by a couple of extra little putters as I straightened up. Totally accidental. One other person in there.. I hurried out without making g eye contact.

My DH once let out a loud one on the Heathrow Express, as he bent over to pick up something he’d dropped. As luck would have it we were surrounded by people wearing ear/headphones so nobody heard.

SunflowersInRain · 10/07/2025 09:16

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:33

You can tell it’s forced when it goes on for about 20 seconds at full volume when he’s right beside me in the aisle of a shop.

Why did you time it?

Pricelessadvice · 10/07/2025 09:08

I’d have laughed my head off.

FrazzledHippy · 10/07/2025 09:07

Maybe he just snapped and farted 🤷‍♀️

KoiTetra · 10/07/2025 09:04

WhatTheHelll · 09/07/2025 17:33

You can tell it’s forced when it goes on for about 20 seconds at full volume when he’s right beside me in the aisle of a shop.

If it was really 20 seconds and "full volume" the poor man would have deflated! 20 seconds is a long time, most people would call a 3-4 second fart a long one.

HelpMeGetThrough · 10/07/2025 08:51

I guess Raynor Winn is looking for a new book idea now, here we have it….

The Long Fart, a heartbreaking story of walking past a man on a costal path who “force farted” for 20 seconds.

ConnieHeart · 10/07/2025 08:38

I once went out for a curry & when I got back I could not control my wind. Must have gone on fir around a minute, on & off. Luckily I was at home but I've never moved to the bathroom so fast in my life 😯

Minimili · 10/07/2025 00:34

It sounds like Karl Pilkingtons Auntie Nora who had wind for 5 minutes 😂

Topseyt123 · 09/07/2025 23:31

mutinyonthetwix · 09/07/2025 17:37

I am reasonably confident it's not possible for a person to conjure up a twenty second fart entirely at will. Are you capable of this feat, OP?

Should we not be considering the possibility that OP actually DID the fart herself and is trying to deflect the blame onto the poor man?😃🤣

TheSilentSister · 09/07/2025 23:01

@Toetouchingtitties - I remember that thread, think it went in classics. This could go the same way.

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 09/07/2025 22:52

Very outing here but my DF once farted so violently after eating some salsify (?! sp?!) that apparently his bum lifted off the loo seat with great force.

On a similar note, my DS aged 7 is delightful and sitting on me farting deliberately daily. In my disgust and stifled amusement, I tell him off then guffaw loudly after.😅🤣😅

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 09/07/2025 22:46

I farted loudly once in Asda (not forced!) and the guy behind me applauded and said, “Good Arse!” which made me laugh as well as die a little inside 😳🤣😳

Negroany · 09/07/2025 22:39

Ah, this reminds me of one of the things that made me realise my ex was a controlling arse.

I farted, and he said "don't force it, it's bad for you" and I thought "fuck me, he's even telling me how to fart now!".
It wasn't "forced" anyway. So I surmise, you could not possibly tell that.

ChaliceinWonderland · 09/07/2025 22:39

Omg am laughing like a drain!

Whenlifegivesyouoranges · 09/07/2025 22:33

I have a stoma and don’t have control of the wind that passes from it and it can be very noisy. You know absolutely nothing about this man, so I’d just forget about it and move on.

Growlybear83 · 09/07/2025 22:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I think the OP should have farted back if she thinks people can fart on demand.

notflatteredandvotingreformbecauseofyou · 09/07/2025 22:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ThisCheekyHazelSheep · 09/07/2025 22:28

When my dad was undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer, he farted a lot. He physically couldn't help it and they were very loud and drawn out, 20 seconds would have been below average. People did get offended when we were out in public at times, Especially as he had that old 'pull my finger' type of humor and would just try to laugh it off but he was actually really uncomfortable and embarrassed and he stopped going to the shops because of it.

I'm not saying that this man that OP encountered wasn't just being an ass but sometimes there might be more to a situation then first appears :)

ArtTheClown · 09/07/2025 22:27

I've now got this in my head, but with the words now Long Loud Fart, and the howling noises replaced with a twenty-second ripper.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/VGRQGm4-A4k?si=H9pshyK0xHqOn6Y1

Booboobagins · 09/07/2025 22:22

Im assuming you walked away quickly and left him at it....

I think I'd have done the typical British think and laughed.

winkywanky · 09/07/2025 22:22

Toetouchingtitties · 09/07/2025 17:44

Did he look like he snapped then farted?

I had totally forgotten about this post, thanks for the reminder 😂

Swipe left for the next trending thread