Friend pressuring me to have a baby

There is only one good reason not to have children: Because you don't want to.

People who need everyone else around them to validate their life choices by following the same path, are likely to be insecure in their own choices.

You could go completely over the top and list all of the reasons why people might think that having children is a bad idea... however, that might end the friendships.

I have three children and was pretty sure, when I got married, that I wanted to have them... but I would be lying if there have been times when I have wondered if it was the right thing to do..

Live your life, love your life, surround yourself with people that you like and that like you, fill your life with things that you enjoy doing. If that does not include spending time with people who undermine you and your happiness.... change something!! I don't think the answer is to have children!!

I never wanted kids my choice.
I have millions of reasons why.

She’s being a good friend in my opinion!
She senses your doubt and most likely wants to check your not going to have any regrets.
Good for her!
Just Be firm in your decision and she will be happy that you’re going to be happy with your choice!
Easy peasy

Don't take any pressure from them and don't discuss it with them. Something like "i am sure in my own mind and don't want to discuss it" should do the trick. No one should be pressured about this - it's such a big decision with so many implications.

yanbu x

Turn it back on them. Tell them they only had kids because they were expected to.

Here are my reasons for not wanting and never having children:

1. Because I didn't want to.
2. It's none of your damn business.

Whenever anyone asked me why I didn't want children I'd just quiz them right back. "I dunno, why did you want children? I don't understand that!" No one ever had a decent reply.

Note, not my friends of course! My friends are lovely and we all respect each other's decisions to be child-free or parents. And while I wonder why some of them had kids I don't quiz them on it. Anyone who quizzed me on my reproductive choices would be an ex-friend.

It’s not anyone’s business, the only thing I’d say is, you need to be sure, this decision can’t be changed once Mother Nature takes over with menopause.
try to mentally put yourself in menopause, do you feel regret or do you feel content?

Do you feel your husband would be a good male role model if you did have a baby?

I think your friends are a bit out of order but the fact is that it's different for men and women of your age. Your husband could say he doesn't want children and then in fifteen years' time you might split up and he gets his next girlfriend pregnant. This does happen tons of times - he's still got his options, no matter what age he is. Make sure you do what's best for you, though of course that doesn't include getting pregnant by your husband without his knowledge or consent.

What a horrible “friend”. My dil and son don’t want children. None of my business. I personally think my son would be a great dad and I was a bit sad that I wouldn’t see him with his own child, but that his decision and nothing to do with me. My daughter who always said she didn’t want children and I really couldn’t picture her with a child, has a nine month old who is utterly delightful. So her view changed, again none of my business. You do you and tell everyone else to mind their own business.

I imagine in previous generations, before available contraception, there were a lot of really damaged children who grew up knowing they were resented. Definitely better to make the right decision for your family/household than have children because you should or because someone who might see them once a month feels you should.

I'm pregnant with number 4 and told my husband at about 9 weeks that I was not doing pregnancy again because it's rubbish and if he ever wants another child he needs to find another uterus to carry it. Not his body, not his choice and he would be sharing all the responsibilities.

There is something especially revolting about someone pressurising a sexual abuse survivor what to do with their body.

If they're not listening to you, it's bullying.

I didn’t see your response pre-edit, but apologies also as I was responding to the quoted post before it was added to - when it just said ‘Now, that is very interesting!’

None of your friends business.
It's actually really rude to do that to a person it is zero anything to do with anyone else.
Enjoy your life being single do what you want to do were not all the same.

My sister made the decision many years ago and had the perfect answer when quizzed about when, not even if, she and her husband were going to have children. She would fix them with a steely gaze and say, "Some people can't have children!", at this point they would rapidly change the topic.

I would just say "because I/we don't want to have kids" then change the subject. That should be a good enough explanation these days (not that anyone should have to justify their life choices in this day and age)

Edited to delete somewhat insensitive response, apologies to anyone I may have offended.

Makes me wonder if the people who do this just want the childfree friend to be as knackered and skint as them! Why else would anyone be so invested.

I'm childfree by choice and have phased people out over the years who repeatedly said this to me. They're not my real friends.

A ‘good reason’ to want a baby is to want one, which you don’t. Ignore your friends and go with your gut. No one needs to justify not wanting kids, even to themselves, and peer pressure is a terrible reason to procreate.

Being a parent is wonderful but it is insanely difficult physically, mentally and emotionally. If you are on the fence stay on it. Live your life the way you want to and don't let others opinions cloud your judgement.

They were drunk but given she has doubled down now with a text it’s overstepping boundaries. Be firm. Be ready to fade the group out if it becomes too much. Your choice means that you are all in different gears now, and it’s testing the friendship. That does not mean you should have children, just that you are all at different stages now in life.

Honestly tell them to mind their own business. I think it is completely fucking bizarre the fascination people have with other women's reproduction or lack of. My DH ex wife recently told me 'not to leave it too late' which is creepy as fuck.

At 34 I'm finally being taken seriously when I say I don't want children of my own, I have felt this way since the age of 10! I wasn't into playing with dollies and pushing prams around. I liked The Power Rangers and would sword fight with my male cousins.

That hasn't stopped people over last 10 years asking 'When are you having any?' or my personal favourite 'you will change your mind.' I won't.

OP don't let other people's comments make you doubt yourself. When I see these exhausted mothers run ragged I shudder at the thought.