To leave nearly 18yo DS home alone while me and DH go away for the weekend?

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/1778656/sicko-gecko-jailed-blender-animal-charity/

Do you have pets? Some people who gate crash parties deliberately injure or even kill pets in the household.

Do not read further if you don't want to read about horrific animal abuse. Don't read the article if you don't want to see the aftermath of horrific animal abuse.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

The two men in the article gatecrashed a teenager's house party held while the his mum and sister were away and while he slept they trashed the house and filmed the mum's pet gecko being deliberately killed in a blender, they killed her other gecko by throwing it to the floor.

Do you have outdoor cameras?

Just go. You have to show him that you trust him.
And if there's red wine on the carpet, so what? He can pay to get it cleaned!

These threads always insist that every single teen will have a party if left alone at home. It's just not true. If you know your kid well and trust them there's no reason they will go against what you agree and the idea that a couple of mates around for PlayStation will turn into a 100 person rager via social media. Life isn't a teen movie circa 1994

Both our children were told that the house has to be in the same state we left it in when we returned or they weren’t getting left home alone again and they would go and stay with a grandparent.

They had friends around but nothing major and the house was all hoovered and tidy for our return.

We are leaving our nearly 18 year old for a week when we go abroad . I fully expect he will have friends round and house will be messy when we return.
As long as he is safe and my house isn't wrecked its fine.

My son went to a party while the mate's parents were away. They'd given permission for 6 friends to visit. The other 20 had to enter via the neighbours drive and then crawl on hands and knees to avoid the ring doorbell.
I gave him hell when I found out but too late.

😁

Why? Would you r teen really be that incapable? To spend a couple of days at home alone? Sone kids start uni at 17 in Scotland don't they. And there will be current 17 year olds starting uni this Sept even in England if they've not had 18 th birthday yet.

Id feel ashamed if id brought up my kids to be totally incapable of looking after themselves for a couple of days at that age. Parenting is meant to bringing up kids to be independent adults, not treating them like 5 year olds when they are nearly 18

@SemperIdem it’s always funny when parents of young kids think they know everything about having teenagers. Trust me, letting your 10 year old “play out”, all sweet and wholesome, being in bed by 8 with a bedtime story….is VERY different to wondering how wasted your teenager will get , how many friends will turn up, if they’ll smoke weed, vomit, break things, have sex in your bed etc. OP isn’t worried that her son won’t survive without mummy and daddy. She’s worried a small get together will turn into a big party and get out of control. Perfectly natural worry I think. As you will find in a few years time.

@SpottyAardvark I don’t think you’ve understood the OP. She’s not worried about his ability to look after himself. She’s worried there’ll be a party and the house will get trashed.

We say no more than 6 friends, no noisy music after 11.30 and he changes the spare bed if anyone sleeps in it. We do always give him £10 a day when we return if cat is happy and house is tidy and it’s always worked really well. It’s in your interest to be able to go away so you need to relax and try it

CRAZY! He can legally drive a car and have a child…but you don’t know if you can leave him alone for a couple of nights.

What kind of children are we raising now that we don’t want them to experience having a few friends over and getting pizzas and maybe a couple of beers at the age of 17 🫣 would you rather him be sneaking around and hiding bottles under his bed, or be safe at home

I rem my parent going away. Yep had friends round including men /boys

I don’t drink whiskey due to that weekend and that was now like 35yrs ago

I would chat to him and say no parties but can have few friends round for pizza

Malibu an unusual drink for a teen

@crumblingschools It’s.not inevitable though. My two (20 and 16) absolutely know that they can’t invite more than a couple of mates round. If random people show up, they have to be told to leave…and our neighbors will back them up if necessary.

We know most of our neighbors well though, we tell them if we’re going away and they’d def. snitch to us and intervene if a big party was underway. 😂

What? Why? If your almost-18-year-old cannot be left safely at home for a weekend or indeed a week or more (Serious SEN aside obvs), you have done something wrong.

For those of us older folk times were different when we were 17/18. Yes we could have booze filled parties when parents were away, but we didn’t have the curse that is social media, that can ramp up a party from 10-20 people to many people, mostly unknown and rent a mob mentality

We've done it a few times now! I know ds mates, they're a decent crowd. They actually say hello to me on the ring doorbell as they arrive and leave! Never been any damage , but he has them all round, and he's pretty good at cleaning up!
Relax, go, enjoy your weekend!
Ps I did text him "why is there a naked boy leaving my house!?" But apparently it was "just (name) " They know we are watching!

I know right! It’s painful reading some comments. I honestly think that the infantilisation of young people is hugely detrimental to their self confidence and general life skills. Why would they think they can do anything on their own if they’ve never been trusted to at least try? It seems to be really common the UK, less so in mainland Europe.

I really try to give my daughter (10) as much freedom and independence as is reasonable. I’m mid 30’s and can see the benefits that playing out with my friends gave me, in the moment problem solving, dealing with conflict, making decisions for myself that went against others and so on.

We can’t just baby our children until they’re 18 and then unleash into the world without having learned any real life skills, it’s unfair.

@SemperIdem Exactly. He’ll be an adult literally next month- 😂

He’s 18 not 8.

Clear limits, boundaries and expectations- and remind him you can see the Ring doorbell. Then go and enjoy your weekend!

I went to Dublin for a long weekend and left 17 year old DD on her own. She loved it!

Of course he can be left! Is he not going to uni in September?

@RoseAlone He’ll legally be an adult next month. Why wouldn’t he be able to manage and keep himself safe?

I would set rules, have a word with neighbours and make sure that the Ring Bell/ cameras fully charged.
I would also add a rule that problems with Ring bell/ cameras are equal ‘something dodgy going on’ automatically.