Not wanting grandchildren

They just need to say no, my parents did. Left to get on with it even after my divorce and potential homelessness. Bought my son up on my own and could literally count on one hand how many times my dad and his wife babysat him until he was old enough and my mother never did because her partner wouldn't let her and probably she wasn't bothered anyway. Women who cut their hours at work to sit a grandchild probably love it when the child is tiny but not so much when they're dealing with a screaming toddler. Bed made.

None of OP's posts make any sense.

Of course you have. Your whole thread is based on an assumption that grandchildren means childcare.

So why assume your DC will expect childcare? Why on earth would you assume that?

Thank you for finally answering the question! No, I wouldn't (I don't have kids anyway) but a lot of people on these boards seem to be terribly tied to their elderly parents, to the extent that they let it affect their life decisions. I'm glad that you don't expect your kids to do that.

This, it's up to your dc not you.
You can choose not to be involved if that what you want but gc are a joy, you sound miserable

You can do / not do anything you choose. I have my grandchildren ( 3 years old and 17 months old) for 10 hours every Monday. They come for sleepovers once every 6 weeks or so. I love it, it's wonderful to see them grow and learn.Their great grandmother( my mum) is 86 . She visits every Monday afternoon . They have a lovely relationship with her and with their grandad. We have busy lives doing whatever we want to do from Tuesday to Sunday. We are well off, been retired for years ( we're 60 and 63) and are in very good health. My DILs parents don't babysit, don't do any regular childcare, don't adapt any part of their lives around the grandchildren and generally only see them if they meet at the pub. I am doing what I want and they are doing what they want . Son and DIL are happy with either option.

This.

It's not up to you.

You might feel differently when it’s an actual child that you love. I couldn’t watch my daughter struggle and not help out in a crisis but I don’t want to be a permanent free child minder.

Thankfully, it is not your choice.

OP still hasn't answered whether or not she expects that her children will provide elder care for her. I presume not.

I hope one day to be like my Nana. She had us every weekend. We would watch generation game and all those type of Saturdays night shows! We would eat our body weight in snacks and on a Sunday morning I woke up to the smell of bacon cooking and come down to bacon, egg and toast and half a grapefruit loaded with sugar! I treasure those memories and wish I could have one more day with her to just smell and hug her some more. She was an absolute queen. Grandparents are crucial and perhaps looking at it like this will make you look forward to it a bit more.

No, you’re not alone. My daughters don’t want children and my son isn’t in the position to have any yet.
If grandchildren came along of course I’d spoil them to bits but I’m happy with the status quo tbh.
I’m not fond of small children and live too far away to be useful. My daughters knew as teenagers that if they accidentally got pregnant I would not be looking after babies so they could go back to study.
This might sound heartless, but I love my children to bits.

Neither my parents nor my in-laws provided childcare for us. They still enjoyed being grandparents.

Your not alone!! I was the same, still am the same, i told my kids not to expect babysitting services ect. I still work and i wanted to enjoy child free time, so they knew where they stood!

No your not alone. I'm 65 and my wife is 60
The babies birth is imminent and it scares the hell out of me. My wife is totally besotted with the idea but I can't get my head around it. My daughter is married to a military man and he's in special forces so he's not often there. .my daughter is totally dependent on us because that's the way my wife had made it. Although she does not live with us she is constantly on the phone with this problem and that problem. My wife loves the fact she is so dependent but quite frankly it drives me nuts . I just want to be left in peace but my wife and daughter make that impossible.

I think it’s fine to be as involved as you want, one of my kids grandparents is barely there. My only advice would be please don’t complain about your kids ‘not bringing’ their kids to see you, like my kids grandparent does.xx

Someone I know took exactly the same stance as you @Reallyneedsaholiday She refused to visit her first grandchild for 3 weeks after they were born lest her DS & his wife get any idea that she’d be anything other than remotely involved. Then she met the child and couldn’t get enough of her! Absolutely doted on her and was very hands on and ever present. You just might feel differently if it happens.

I was not expecting grandchildren to come along just as I was retiring, neither did I expect at aged 67 to be looking after a 93 year old father. I too envisaged a life of freedom but that’s not how it’s worked out. Be careful what you wish for!!