Didn’t get promoted and am devastated - please help

Perhaps they are trying to just keep it quick, tbh I'm sure it can be done in 15 minutes, they'll give examples of what areas you were weak in or what areas the candidates were strong in. The fact they encouraged you to apply is really promising and they probably just didn't realise that there would be so many strong candidates. If it was a panel it wouldn't have been just their all. Kindly, I know you're disappointed but the better candidate got the role and you are overthinking it a bit. Also some of your questions are quite basic which makes me think that's probably why you didn't get it, it sounds like you need a bit more experience in general.

Don’t worry. It will likely just run over.

I can see why this hurts so much as I’ve been in the same boat on a few occasions. You go to the interview with a heightened expectation because you’ve got the necessary knowledge and experience. I would be too angry to be receptive to feedback and it’s a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.

I have never found feedback to be useful anyway. Each interview is different; never the same questions and interviewers for the next time. I am settled in a cushy job now but I do not get jobs easily at all.

Yes very poor. I wouldn't expect anything detailed in 10 mins you'll probably get told something very generic along the lines that you did a good interview but the other candidates did better.

Yes, that is incredibly poor. Very sorry they are treating you like this.

I do this feedback regularly. Usually takes half an hour - sometimes longer depending on what the person wants to discuss.

he will tell you either your experience just wasn’t as good as the successful candidate or you fluffed the interview.

i recently talked this through with an excellent member of my team who got pipped at the post. We talked through where I felt she could have given stronger evidence in the interview and what I think her next step should be. She reflected on her career path and her aspirations. We agreed some steps we could take to get her more varied experience. Probably ran over the 30 mins. But a good discussion with a professional, driven and self aware staff member.

I'd be very surprised. Far more risky to take a chance on an unknown external than to put a known trusted insider in a senior post. The likelihood given her mananagers encouragement and urging her to get feedback is that OP didn't sell herself as well as other candidates at the interview. Internal candidates often fall down on that, assuming their track record speaks for them. If the panel were recruiting based on a scoring system taking account only what was said on the day, that's not enough.

An opportunity will come, maybe this wasn't the one for you. I know it's disheartening.

I once had two interviews on the same day for identical roles in two different organisations- one offered me the job, the other told me they didn't feel I was ready for the step up to management (which both roles involved!!)

You need to listen.

You need to ask which areas you didn't score as well on as the successful candidate.

You need to understand if there is a technical &/or behavioural skills deficit.

You need to decide whether any of the feedback resonates.

Get a robust PDP in place

I would see such a meeting as less about explaining why you should have got the job, and more about taking onboard what they’ve said, or what the feedback is. Much better to take it away, reflect, think, and come back with more questions if you have them later. Remember that at this point, you’re very unlikely to change the outcome of the interview - the goal is more to learn whatever you can for the next time you’re in this situation.

If your boss is genuinely invested in your development they will be happy to do this. You are showing interest and willing.

Yes, this. Find out what areas of the interview went well, what could have been improved and how.

This will be the same manager who encouraged OP to apply for the position then and is voluntarily offering OP feedback.
It seems odd they would do that when it would be easier to say nothing.
Seems much more likely that the other candidate did a better interview and the manager was obliged to give them the position.

I am not suggesting that she ask for the answers, that would definitely suggest not suitable for the role.
But knowing how her responses landed to any of the questions asked is a good starting point in opening up the feedback discussion.

don’t you have regular 1to1 meetings with your boss to discuss results of your projects? I’m a senior director in my organisation and still sit with my own boss once a week for 30 minutes and definitely blow my own trumpet about good projects and highlight issues about bad ones. I send him a few bullet points ahead of the meeting and make sure he knows what I’m doing and what’s going on. Every organisation is different but I definitely think this is important. I do the same with my team, but I give them 1 hour each as their tasks are purely tactical and need more time to discuss

I don't agree with this, this will just show that you weren't the right candidate if you need the "answers"

I think you definitely say what you've done. I also think you do have to accept that there were two better candidates than you too, and your boss telling you to apply was a positive thing. I think the feedback meeting will be a good thing for you and if you think you were retested unfairly then start looking for another role.

It sounds like your manager felt he needed you where you were and couldn’t be bothered recruiting for and training your replacement 🙄 Vote with your feet and move on I say.

Request to go through all your answers to the questions, clarify what responses were they looking for.

Some good suggestions for questions already, so just wanted to add that it’s not about sticking up for yourself or promoting yourself in a defensive way. You’re not going to be attacked or anything like that. It’s a learning opportunity and the more open and positive you can be, the more you’ll get out of it going forward. It’s clearly knocked your confidence but hopefully the feedback will shift that and put you on the path to building it up to be stronger.

No don't stay that. They aren't going to change their mind. It just sounds like you are throwing in something which you think should have impacted the outcome.

It's not the time to be doing it.

Just go with zero apologies and zero extra information.

"I would really welcome that opportunity to get feedback. Can you let me know when suits you best?"

Simple and to the point.

A good manager realises that the most people need a few days to accept the decision and then they are open to feedback. I would be surprised if he doesn't realise that.