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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think drivers are some of the most self-centred people around?

62 replies

ForBreezySloth · 08/07/2025 19:46

I say this as someone who drives but seriously, the lack of awareness, the entitlement, the impatience… it’s mad. Whether it’s parking, refusing to slow down near schools or acting like cyclists/pedestrians are an inconvenience, it’s like the moment people get behind a wheel, empathy shuts off.

AIBU to think cars bring out the worst in people?

OP posts:
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Chompingatthebeat · 11/07/2025 10:13

The biggest delays on the road are traffic jams caused by sheer weight of traffic

Rosscameasdoody · 11/07/2025 09:54

Bridport · 08/07/2025 20:42

Some Florists. Absolute wrong uns.

And some piano tuners.

And some piano tuners.

Agree. Certainly struck a chord with me !!. I’ll get my coat.

TheNightingalesStarling · 11/07/2025 09:51

Wheech · 11/07/2025 06:46

Or the ones who ignore the red nan and just wander into the road at a junction as cars are turning into that road.

@TheNightingalesStarling I wonder if all of them really are just wandering out. I've been caught by this so many times not knowing a driver was planning to turn into a road I am crossing because they didn't indicate, and I do check before crossing. Not all junctions have pedestrian crossings and those that do sometimes have excessive wait times. I think a lot of drivers don't even see pedestrians, let alone understand that they use the car indicators to make decisions about crossing roads.

Its a specific junction with a pedestrian crossing I was referring to! Mostly college students on their phones trying to get to the chip shop.

scalt · 11/07/2025 08:22

“Ban those using the roads for pleasure.” Sounds like lockdown. “Minimise travel. Is your journey essential? A granny dies every time a non-essential journey is made.”

As for overtaking cyclists, most of them can be overtaken safely. But when it’s twenty of them, taking up the whole width of the lane, and going at about 25mph, it can be easier said than done.

NewPapaGuinea · 11/07/2025 06:46

Cyclists can also be passed safely. If you’re unable/confident to do so you should take some extra driver training.

The delays you speak of are perception. You’re delayed far more by traffic lights, parked cars and other drivers. Most drivers can’t even use merge in turns properly which would save them more time than any cyclist costs them.

Wheech · 11/07/2025 06:46

Or the ones who ignore the red nan and just wander into the road at a junction as cars are turning into that road.

@TheNightingalesStarling I wonder if all of them really are just wandering out. I've been caught by this so many times not knowing a driver was planning to turn into a road I am crossing because they didn't indicate, and I do check before crossing. Not all junctions have pedestrian crossings and those that do sometimes have excessive wait times. I think a lot of drivers don't even see pedestrians, let alone understand that they use the car indicators to make decisions about crossing roads.

NewPapaGuinea · 11/07/2025 06:28

Chiseltip · 10/07/2025 08:51

Well cyclists and pedestrians ARE an inconvenience, the vast majority of cyclists are literally just playing their hobby on a public road. They aren't commuting, just playing. That should be banned. We don't allow any other hobbies to be played on public roads. Pedestrians are less of an inconvenience because you can overtake them safely and they generally don't cause delays.

It's the proliferation of touch screens, which have easential functions, buried deep in the software, that are a big problem.

There’s plenty of drivers who use the roads for “pleasure”. They aren’t commuting, just driving around for the fun of it. In your absurd view they’d be banned too. Ironically, a cyclist using the road to travel to the woods to cycle in would be ok.

Fumblebug · 10/07/2025 16:38

Chiseltip · 10/07/2025 16:00

We don't allow anyone else to keep fit using a public road.

You don't set up a running machine on the outside lane of a dual carriageway.

You don't do squats in the middle of the road.

You don't set up a weight machine in the middle of a junction.

Cycling is the only hobby that is played on public roads.

I think there have been enough sensible comments from other Mumsnetters on here to disabuse you of your position. All the best.

Fumblebug · 10/07/2025 16:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

TheNightingalesStarling · 10/07/2025 16:22

I find the people who walk down the middle of the road despite there being a pavement annoying when I'm trying to drive.

Or the ones who ignore the red nan and just wander into the road at a junction as cars are turning into that road.

But misy the drivers who act like dickheads outside schools, endangering their own children and the others.

Makingpeace · 10/07/2025 16:21

I would say "road users" in general tbh. There are very twatty cyclists, car drivers, WVM, delivery drivers, pedestrians....not all, but definitely lots of road users!

Makingpeace · 10/07/2025 16:19

Zov · 08/07/2025 19:58

YABU to not say cyclists are much worse. Not just random ones who cycle to work - or the shops, and go out with their kids... I mean the lycra clad MEN who hang around in big groups, cycling 4 abreast on main roads, and country lanes. Absolute dickheads.

You've heard the term mamil?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamil

MemorableTrenchcoat · 10/07/2025 16:14

Chiseltip · 10/07/2025 16:06

No we don't. Those people aren't gardening on the road, they are travelling to do their hobby, which is what roads were made for, to travel.

Cyclists use them to play their hobby.

As for your suggestion that motorists should wait until they are stopped to use a touch screen. You do realise that quite a lot of cars have A/C settings within the touchscreen.

If the windscreen begins to fog up, are you suggesting the driver should just wait until the next junction to pull over and use their touchscreen . . .

Roads were indeed made for travel. First for horses, then bicycles and, more recently motor vehicles. Even ‘hobby’ cyclists are often travelling somewhere, such as scenic viewpoints, coffee shops, pubs etc. So, they’re using roads exactly as they’re intended to be used.

Chompingatthebeat · 10/07/2025 16:08

stayathomer · 10/07/2025 16:01

To be fair I drive through our town every day and pedestrians or cyclists decide they’re just going to go now. Or people in scooters fly out in front of me. Or people glare at me if they cross in front of me as I’m stopped in traffic (and not at a Crossing!) It works both ways!

Except they are unlikely to kill or maim

MemorableTrenchcoat · 10/07/2025 16:08

Chiseltip · 10/07/2025 15:58

If they are wearing lycia and riding a racing bike, they are playing their hobby.

Most cyclists I see have neither. What about those going for a leisurely Sunday drive, or driving their dog to a forest, or towing a caravan? Surely they’re clogging up the roads in pursuit of playing at their hobby?

Chompingatthebeat · 10/07/2025 16:07

Chiseltip · 10/07/2025 08:51

Well cyclists and pedestrians ARE an inconvenience, the vast majority of cyclists are literally just playing their hobby on a public road. They aren't commuting, just playing. That should be banned. We don't allow any other hobbies to be played on public roads. Pedestrians are less of an inconvenience because you can overtake them safely and they generally don't cause delays.

It's the proliferation of touch screens, which have easential functions, buried deep in the software, that are a big problem.

Are horse riders allowed, or are people allowed to drive to their hobbies? Daytrip to the seaside?

Chiseltip · 10/07/2025 16:06

Alexandra2001 · 10/07/2025 08:57

So are the vast majority of people driving around on a Sunday morning, most are taking part in their "hobby" be that a garden centre, going to see events etc certainly not commuting.

So we do allow people to take part in hobbies on public roads....

Your post shows the entitlement of car drivers that the OP is highlighting.

Anyone who dares slow you down should be banned.

Touch Screens are also not the problem... the problem is drivers thinking its ok to be looking at these instead of the road, if you cannot find the function you want, wait until you can stop... simple really

Edited

No we don't. Those people aren't gardening on the road, they are travelling to do their hobby, which is what roads were made for, to travel.

Cyclists use them to play their hobby.

As for your suggestion that motorists should wait until they are stopped to use a touch screen. You do realise that quite a lot of cars have A/C settings within the touchscreen.

If the windscreen begins to fog up, are you suggesting the driver should just wait until the next junction to pull over and use their touchscreen . . .

stayathomer · 10/07/2025 16:01

To be fair I drive through our town every day and pedestrians or cyclists decide they’re just going to go now. Or people in scooters fly out in front of me. Or people glare at me if they cross in front of me as I’m stopped in traffic (and not at a Crossing!) It works both ways!

Chiseltip · 10/07/2025 16:00

Fumblebug · 10/07/2025 09:34

Also pretty narrow minded to think that keeping fit is a hobby! Keeping fit benefits all of society in the long run.

We don't allow anyone else to keep fit using a public road.

You don't set up a running machine on the outside lane of a dual carriageway.

You don't do squats in the middle of the road.

You don't set up a weight machine in the middle of a junction.

Cycling is the only hobby that is played on public roads.

Chiseltip · 10/07/2025 15:58

MemorableTrenchcoat · 10/07/2025 08:55

Ah, here you go again. Got a source on your claim that the vast majority of cyclists are hobbyists? Horses are also allowed on public roads. Doesn’t that qualify as a hobby?

If they are wearing lycia and riding a racing bike, they are playing their hobby.

Fumblebug · 10/07/2025 09:34

MemorableTrenchcoat · 10/07/2025 08:55

Ah, here you go again. Got a source on your claim that the vast majority of cyclists are hobbyists? Horses are also allowed on public roads. Doesn’t that qualify as a hobby?

Also pretty narrow minded to think that keeping fit is a hobby! Keeping fit benefits all of society in the long run.

JMSA · 10/07/2025 09:33

Some, absolutely, and same with some (ok, many) smokers.

crackofdoom · 10/07/2025 09:33

Well, any group has the capacity to behave in considerately, but the consequences of people in charge of massive metal hulks travelling at speed doing so are obviously much greater.

CoffeeCantata · 10/07/2025 09:33

verycloakanddaggers · 08/07/2025 20:08

There's research on this, being inside the box makes people feel insulated and less connected to people outside the car.

Yes, definitely. There was a Mont Python sketch years ago which had pedestrians on a busy street behaving like drivers. It was funny but made the point that most people (most, but not all…) wouldn’t dream of being so pushy, arrogant and selfish if they weren’t in a shiny metal box.

Seeline · 10/07/2025 09:32

Some people are self centered

Strangely, some of those people drive cars, and some will do a million other things.

You've got your Venn diagram round the wrong way....