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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be livid about DH’s “holiday”??

130 replies

Imacetar · 08/07/2025 18:07

I don’t even know where to start tbh. Might be being a bit hormonal but this has really wound me up.

So DH mentioned a few weeks ago that he’d planned a “lads weekend” with a couple of his uni mates. Fair enough - he doesn’t go out that often and I thought it might do him good. He was very vague about the details but said it was “cheap and cheerful” and just a few nights away to “let off steam”.

Anyway today I check our joint account and see a £670 payment to some posh spa hotel in the Lake District. Naturally I ring him thinking it’s fraud or something and he casually goes “oh yeah we upgraded - one of the lads has a bad back and we wanted something a bit more comfortable”.

Sorry what?? Since when do three grown men randomly upgrade to a spa hotel with massage treatments and a hot tub view?? Doesn’t sit right with me. Sounds more like something you’d do with your partner - not your old uni mates.

Meanwhile I’ve done school run, cleaned up DS’s sick (dodgy fish fingers), tried to delouse DD’s hair AGAIN and the dog’s trotted mud through the whole house. But it’s alright for him - he’s having a “relaxing break” with scented candles and a robe.

I’m trying not to go full detective but honestly it just doesn’t add up.

AIBU to think there’s more to this than he’s saying? Would you call him out now or wait til he’s back? I feel like a mug.

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 08/07/2025 18:14

If you can afford it I don’t understand the problem but it’s different if you are struggling for money.

I doubt he’s having an affair, he’s booked it on the joint account.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 08/07/2025 18:14

Coconutter24 · 08/07/2025 18:10

So you’re ok with him going away somewhere cheap to let off steam but not ok with him going to a spa? What’s the difference, either way he is away from home and you would have had to do the things you listed anyway.
I think YABU

^ This

What does it matter if he is going on a cheap weekend away or a spa weekend away? And I am not sure why the need to tell us about the stuff you have to deal with as its irrelevant.

You say you don't begrudge him going away as you think it will be good for him then on the other hand moan about the things you will have to do while he is away. Sounds like its more jealousy about the fact he gets to relax all weekend.

Simple answer is when he gets back book yourself into one and leave him with the kids.

BeachPossum · 08/07/2025 18:13

What do you mean 'something doesn't add up'? Do you think he's having an affair or lying about something?

Otherwise, as long as you can afford it I don't get the drama. You should also have a break though, you should get equal access to time off.

youwouldthink · 08/07/2025 18:12

This does not sound like a 'lads' break at all!!

Coconutter24 · 08/07/2025 18:10

So you’re ok with him going away somewhere cheap to let off steam but not ok with him going to a spa? What’s the difference, either way he is away from home and you would have had to do the things you listed anyway.
I think YABU