To be livid about DH’s “holiday”??

Nice hotels often (mostly?) have spas too. They might not be doing the spa bit. Nice to have bars and restaurants, a pool, a gym on site. If you can afford it — and you also get a turn to be away — I don’t see the issue really. It would have been better if he’d let you know about the hotel change when he found out, but if you can afford that it’s not a big deal imho.

If you don’t trust him that’s a different issue.

Sounds like you meed to plan your girl's trip away. With a budget of the same as he spent..

Get your kids to FaceTime him if you’re worried… I don’t see the big deal though?
last time I went to Pennyhill park spa there was a group of blokes there without women

Is it actually as 'spa weekend' or is it a weekend in the Lakes at a hotel that's got a spa attached? Everybody seems to be assuming that he'll be spending the weekend in a plush dressing gown getting manicured to within an inch of his life, whereas he might just have a dip in the jacuzzi after a day's walking. But even so, the main thing is that if he was having a sordid affair he'd be unlikely to tell you exactly where and when. Unless the money's a problem then I can't see the problem.

One of my partner's favourite hotels is a spa hotel. He hates the spa & only uses the pool but absolutely loves their restaurant.

A man in a spa holiday doesn't necessarily mean an affair, despite what MN appears to think?

Just because it's a spa hotel doesn't mean they're having a spa weekend. They could easily be having a lads weekend of walking, kayaking etc and plenty of beers in the evening but then staying in a nice hotel rather than a walkers hostel. There's not much between the two in the lakes - and even rooms above pubs can set you back 250 a night. At which point you may as well go to the place with a pool.

I wouldn't necessarily be suspicious, but I would be annoyed that cheap and cheerful meant 600 out a joint account. But maybe that is still cheap and cheerful for some?

That would set my spidery senses off big time!

Wait, he's there now? It's not the weekend

The point is that most men, OP’s DH included, wouldn't go on a spa break with other men. He’s there with another woman.

The difference is the cost - obviously.

A bunch of lads do not go to a spa weekend for a break. Same as a bunch of middle aged women dont go on a golf weekend.

I mean yes there are exceptions but come on!

The fact that @Imacetar thinks that it doesnt add up suggests that his is very out of character for him, and I agree that this sounds like a romantic weekend away not a lads holiday.

You know your husband best, and whether a spa weekend is the kind of thing he would enjoy.

My husband would absolutely hate it, but if he had planned a weekend away with mates and they decided to change venue, I think he'd go along with it, for the friendship of it, rather than any treatments.

I think your own finances come into it as well. If you were stretching it a bit so he could have a £300 weekend away, but he then announces that actually they're paying £700, you'd be justified in being annoyed.

Edited to add - you say he's away now? It's Tuesday. That's a VERY long weekend if he's still away (or has just gone now, and will still be away this coming weekend). When is he due to come back?

I'm guessing he never books a spa break for you? I would be driving over there to pay him a visit, if you can't check it out with the others wives somehow.

Is the cost the issue as in can you afford it? It does seem a strange choice for a "lads weekend" mind you!

I mean it's a hotel probably with a gym, pool and relaxation areas. Why wouldn't men want the option to enjoy a workout/swim/ sauna between days/evenings out ?

I think it depends on many things:
Has he given you any reason in the past to not trust that he'd be faithful?
Is he the type of person who would be interested in a spa break with his friends?
Are his friend the type of people who would also be interested in that?

I wouldn't snoop on my partner, but at the same time I trust that he wouldn't cheat.

You could start by just taking an interest in his trip. "So what have you got planned then? Who's going?" Etc etc and see how uncomfortable he feels talking about it.

Upgrading because of a bad back seems odd. I don't see in anyway how upgrading would resolve a bad back, I have a bad back and would not think to upgrade for more comfort but everyone is different I suppose.

Can’t see any issue
Suggest you arrange a weekend away with your pals

But reading the op it doesn’t sound like the cost is her issue but more the type of break seems to be the problem

So you think he’s not only cheating, but also thick enough to pay for it on the joint account? Baffled that you think adult men can enjoy a spa with a woman but not with friends. Get him to send you a selfie with his uni mates and if he manages it then give your head a wobble, if he doesn’t then you have your answer.

The difference is about £450 I recon.

How many lads are going?

Is a few days in the Lake District with a group really almost £700 pounds per person?

Could you source a disguise and go down to check he’s really there with friends? 🥸

Sorry I’m really confused here, you as his wife didn’t know or ask where he and his mates were going too until today? When you checked your joint account statement whilst he’s already away?

Very odd…

Also, I don’t understand what you mean he was vague about the details.

Did you know where they were going before he went?

Doesn’t sound very much like letting off steam to me