To be livid about DH’s “holiday”??

Not what either DH or DS would pick for a weekend away with the boys. DH would pick a top end golf course, nice meal, finish with nice whiskey and a cigar.

DS would pick a day shooting or a long hike with mates and their dogs followed by a real ale pub and a pie.

not all men are the same I get that, but even I would not pick a bloody spa in the lakes, and I love the lakes.

Very “alternative” IMO. Only the OP knows her husband, and she’s posting here so I guess a spa is not her husband.

Some men like a spa break. You know your DH best so you will be best placed to know if something is going on. I know 100% my DH would not go on a spa break with his mates. I'd also find it odd that it wasn't mentioned. If I was off to a nice spa hotel I'd be talking about it for what it is, not just referring to it as a cheap and cheerful break.
If that was my DH and I had the time I think I would be driving up there to see what's actually going on.

Maybe except it's vanishingly rare and you'd know the people going. I can't imagine my DH going on a break with people we don't regularly interact with. He might go on a lads break, but those would be his close friends so mine too.

What is suspicious here is the vague details the the weird tale about the mate needing a massage etc.

I hope that the total cost and his mates give him their share. That’s too much of joint money to use without conversation unless you have used similar amount previously for yourself.

It’s an odd lads thing to do but I’d much rather this than a weekend in Ibiza with the lads!! However, it’s a lot of cash so make sure you do the same with the girls.

Exactly. Some posters just can't help themselves.

I’m okay with separate holidays, but not with him doing something I’d want to do. Is that your issue?

Seems to be a lot of people on here who don’t trust their spouses. I know men who’ve done that sort of thing. They don’t use the spa but loved the hotel and went hiking g and beers at night. There is nothing to be suspicious about.

You asked OP what's the difference between him going somewhere cheap and a spa and I answered you: the cost, obviously.
And it's clear that OP is concerned about two (possibly three) things:

• That her DH didn't book somewhere "cheap and cheerful" as he'd told her he would;
• That the location is a spa hotel, which she thinks is an unusual choice for a "lads break";
• and, possibly, that he could be living in the lap of luxury for a few days whilst she's doing all the grunt work at home (my guess is that she would be far less resentful about this if he was having the "cheap and cheerful" weekend he'd told her was planned).

YABU it was fine for him to go for a cheap and cheerful weekend but it's an issue now he's spent more that has zero impact on you being at home parenting. Unless there's a drip feed that it's left you with no money in your joint account. I'd be looking forward to my own break away with friends and book somewhere equally as nice!

In the spa hotel in the Lakes I'm thinking of it would.

I think he should have run the expenditure past her but if she can access a similar break I don't see the issue.

But don’t you think that’s what the OP is getting at? She seems as surprised at anyone else that he’s chosen a spa in the lakes!

I can’t say I’ve ever seen a group a men in a spa hotel in the lakes but definitely groups of women

Good grief, staying in a 'spa hotel' doesn't mean he's gone a spa break with the lads. Loads of hotels have spas attached. You are under no obligation to use the spa. This thread is ridiculous.

My DH loves a spa btw

Considering no one actually knows the DH and his likes or dislikes everyone’s so confident in saying he’s with a woman.

It’s not obviously that though is it because reading the op the issue more about the type of break he’s on rather than the cost

I regularly go for nice spa breaks in the lakes (live nearby) and to be fair it’s usually around £450-£500 a night plus spa and food so if it’s £670 for a few nights and a few of them it’s probably not that fancy and they probably haven’t booked any spa treatments.

Was expecting you to say Benidorm or Prague. Nearly fell off my couch when you said a spa break in the lakes!
A b&b then hiking/pubs I would believe, but a spa break with hot tub and views…hmm I’d be suspicious too, op.

I don't think it's a sign he's shagging someone else. Just that he's spent more money than he knew you'd be comfortable with. And is trying to style it out.

Well she is implying it with the whole ‘poor me cleaning up sick’ stuff while her husband is in a spa. She also thinks he’s having an affair so it doesn’t sound like a happy well balanced relationship does it? Or she wouldn’t be posting in AIBU about him.

I'm sorry OP, yes this is incredibly unlikely to be a lads holiday. What a shock for you.

@Imacetar never known a bloke wanting to go to a spa with his mates!!!! amsterdam yes, spa no! are you sure he is going with his mates???

I love all the scorekeeping. Is that how people really operate their relationships? I would be so bored with that so quickly. The original poster has not said anything to imply that she doesn't have ample opportunity to do things with her friends or that her husband would object to her doing that in any way and yet people just immediately jump to that.