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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say I couldn’t have been with someone whose salary didn’t allow me to take a year off?

37 replies

ForElatedSeal · 08/07/2025 17:01

Whether it was for maternity leave, career transition, or just a break - financial breathing room has always been important to me in a partner. It’s not about laziness, it’s about life design.

AIBU to think compatibility includes financial vision, not just feelings?

OP posts:
StrawberryCranberry · 08/07/2025 17:07

You can choose not to be with someone for any reason you like.

Swiftie1878 · 08/07/2025 17:07

ForElatedSeal · 08/07/2025 17:01

Whether it was for maternity leave, career transition, or just a break - financial breathing room has always been important to me in a partner. It’s not about laziness, it’s about life design.

AIBU to think compatibility includes financial vision, not just feelings?

Not unreasonable at all! I’m sure there are thousands of potential partners out there looking for someone just like you who expects them to finance a year of their life so they can have a rest.

Viviennemary · 08/07/2025 17:07

Well maybe better still somebody who earns enough for you not to work at all. But perhaps not reading some of the horror stories where people are left high and dry when their ex disappears into the sunset with their six figure salary.

Firefly100 · 08/07/2025 17:06

Why not get your finances to a position where you can fund yourself for a year off if it is so important to you? After all you will also need to match his financial vision...

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 08/07/2025 17:06

Depends would you allow them to do the samw while you worked? Why does your post sound like chatGPT?

Westfacing · 08/07/2025 17:06

Presumably your partner can also take a year off, on account of your earnings?

DriveboyDogboy · 08/07/2025 17:05

If it's a discussion and not a demand, and you are prepared to reciprocate, sure.

RightOnTheEdge · 08/07/2025 17:05

YANBU, What's important to you is your choice.
Do you have enough money so your partner could have a year off if needed?

murasaki · 08/07/2025 17:05

Would yours allow them to take a year off? And would you agree to it?

NotrialNodeal · 08/07/2025 17:04

Why isn't your ambition to be able to have enough behind yourself so that you don't need to rely on a partner financially?

takealettermsjones · 08/07/2025 17:04

Hi ChatGPT 👋

SnailPatronus · 08/07/2025 17:03

Of course YANBU. Everyone has things that are important to them in relationships and if that’s one of yours, that’s fair enough. It would BU if you were expecting someone to change their opinion and / or financial situation to suit your expectations, but as long as you both have the same vision, I don’t see the problem.