Page 2 | Resilience workshops in primary

Sparklybutold · 2025-07-08T15:03:41+00:00

Has anyone any info on these in practice? We've had some wishy washy notification that yo yos can be purchased for £8, 10 or 13 quid! I did jokingly ask what the heck the yo yos were made of? Can't help but feel the cost off the courses is being subbed by the purchase of yo yos? I find this particularly cutting when both of my kids are ND and I'm currently going through tribunal with the eldest. Are these classes actually fit for purpose or are they another shite government initiative with zero substance.

PothasProblem · 08/07/2025 21:26

I think the yoyos are the test at the end of the training. Obviously £8 for a yoyo is stupid, so the parent is expected to say no to the child, they can't have the yoyo. This is an opportunity for the child to demonstrate their newly developed resilience to yoyo based adversity.

WhereIsMyJumper · 08/07/2025 21:25

I must admit I get a bit antsy when I see this sort of stuff being pushed in schools. Fair enough if it’s optional but I sometimes want to tell the school that it’s my job to parent my child and theirs to educate him.

Appreciate it’s different for ND though?

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 21:25

https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

or read the evidence behind the assertion that kids and a lot of adults need resilience coaching …

https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

Jabberwok · 08/07/2025 21:21

healthyteeth · 08/07/2025 20:25

It’s one of Bridget Philipsons new brainwaves.”Resilience building amongst kids”. No talk of why so many kids are struggling and unhappy. No mention of why our teens are the most unhappy in Europe (our 15 year olds are the most unhurt of 27 EU nations - see study below).

No… just get them to learn to put up with all the shit 🙄 a yo-yo 😜

https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/sites/default/files/2024-08/Good%20Childhood%20Report-Main-Report.pdf

Jesus that makes bleak reading.

WiseFinch · 08/07/2025 21:20

Just hopping on to say this isn’t a new thing. I’m in my 20s and I remember the YoYo man from primary school. I remember it the most as I took £10 from my mums purse to buy one (and got a hiding!!!!!!) The guy was called Ned.

JLou08 · 08/07/2025 21:20

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 21:03

Putting up with many things does not equate to resilience

it can lead to shutdown and survival mode …

which can lead to overwhelm / burn out later in life … might need those resilience skills when the effects of childhood trauma come home to roost

Show quote history

I agree. My parents thought I was strong. I just hadn't processed anything I'd been through. It hit me like a ton of bricks in my late teens.
ETA It was working on my own resilience that got me through in the end, mindfulness, exercise, meditation, reflection. We can't change the world around us but we can build our own resilience so that we are better able to manage life.

Original poster

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 21:19

@HeadingOutForJog@Kirbert2couldnt have said it better myself.

OP posts:

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 21:18

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 21:13

The skills you mention are important but they also assume that everything else is equal/running smoothly. Your final comment demonstrates your misunderstanding and/or ignorance of the importance of this balance and how overall well-being is determined by a host of other and interconnecting factors far exceeding someones resilience.

Show quote history

No the more challenging the situation, the
more emotional regulation skillls etc are required !!
the kids where things are not challenging usually are OK until hitting life transitions like leaving school, leaving home
these are the trigger points when older kids struggle and turn to mental health services

what you describe as a sticking plaster for complex societal problems is the backbone to coping with complexity and adversity

Original poster

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 21:17

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 21:03

Putting up with many things does not equate to resilience

it can lead to shutdown and survival mode …

which can lead to overwhelm / burn out later in life … might need those resilience skills when the effects of childhood trauma come home to roost

Show quote history

‘might need those resilience skills when the effects of childhood trauma come home to roost’

Are you aware how minimizing this sentence comes across? I work with lots of clients with a significant trauma history and the fall out for them mentally and physically has nothing to do with there lack of resilience.

OP posts:

Kirbert2 · 08/07/2025 21:15

HeadingOutForJog · 08/07/2025 21:12

Every SEN parent I know hates the word ‘resilience’ as it’s so often thrown at vulnerable children to deflect from the fact that they are not being adequately supported through education. In fact, many SEN children are the most resilient children there are as they keep showing up against the odds day after day even though they are being horribly failed.

I’d certainly not send my SEN child on a resilience course as it has deeply unpleasant connotations for these children and is often just a big stick used to beat them with.

Yep.

So much this.

Kirbert2 · 08/07/2025 21:14

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 21:03

Putting up with many things does not equate to resilience

it can lead to shutdown and survival mode …

which can lead to overwhelm / burn out later in life … might need those resilience skills when the effects of childhood trauma come home to roost

Show quote history

and a workshop with expensive yoyos is going to magically teach him that? I'm sorry but I'm just not buying it.

As I've already said, he has amazing resilience skills. Better than some adults.

Original poster

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 21:13

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 21:01

Coaching individuals in emotion regulation skills,
problem solving skills
self care - sleep, rest, diet and activity
is all equipment for being able to cope in the world —-

these skills = resilience

when adults enter mental health services -
what do u think the therapists / nurses / and other professionals are doing …

coaching people to attend to self care, develop emotional regulation skills and. E able to problem solve …

as the world becomes more complex these skills become more needed

parents don’t coach their kids in these skills sufficiently, often
schools should be the place for education but increasingly are being asked to address children’s mental health …

hence kids need coaching in above skills / resilience to be able to access an education in school, not be stuck in the pastoral suite being cared for because they are finding the school / world overwhelming

The skills you mention are important but they also assume that everything else is equal/running smoothly. Your final comment demonstrates your misunderstanding and/or ignorance of the importance of this balance and how overall well-being is determined by a host of other and interconnecting factors far exceeding someones resilience.

OP posts:

HeadingOutForJog · 08/07/2025 21:12

Every SEN parent I know hates the word ‘resilience’ as it’s so often thrown at vulnerable children to deflect from the fact that they are not being adequately supported through education. In fact, many SEN children are the most resilient children there are as they keep showing up against the odds day after day even though they are being horribly failed.

I’d certainly not send my SEN child on a resilience course as it has deeply unpleasant connotations for these children and is often just a big stick used to beat them with.

Honon · 08/07/2025 21:06

PonyPatter44 · 08/07/2025 20:34

I think helping children to build resilience is really important- not entirely sure how yoyos fit into it though. Resilience doesn't mean suck it up and say nothing, either, and the PP suggesting that is frankly wrong. Resilience is about learning to cope with problems that life throws at you. Children have got to learn to cope with problems, otherwise you get adults who fall apart at the slightest thing.

I agree kids need resilience but I am unconvinced it can be taught in a workshop and can't find any evidence this works.

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 21:03

Kirbert2 · 08/07/2025 20:58

My kid is the most resilient child I know and has had to put up with things many adults wouldn't be able to cope with.

I'd actually struggle not to laugh if he was invited to a resilience workshop.

Show quote history

Putting up with many things does not equate to resilience

it can lead to shutdown and survival mode …

which can lead to overwhelm / burn out later in life … might need those resilience skills when the effects of childhood trauma come home to roost

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 21:01

Coaching individuals in emotion regulation skills,
problem solving skills
self care - sleep, rest, diet and activity
is all equipment for being able to cope in the world —-

these skills = resilience

when adults enter mental health services -
what do u think the therapists / nurses / and other professionals are doing …

coaching people to attend to self care, develop emotional regulation skills and. E able to problem solve …

as the world becomes more complex these skills become more needed

parents don’t coach their kids in these skills sufficiently, often
schools should be the place for education but increasingly are being asked to address children’s mental health …

hence kids need coaching in above skills / resilience to be able to access an education in school, not be stuck in the pastoral suite being cared for because they are finding the school / world overwhelming

Kirbert2 · 08/07/2025 20:58

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 20:46

Exactly this
we are in the midst of a huge surge in children with mental health problems

formal services like CAHMs and school counsellors are utterly overwhelmed

resilience training has its place, coaching kids in regulating emotions, problem solving, self care …

parents who don’t support such interventions, I bet are the ones who yell - there’s no support !!! When the kids are
screen addicted
socially challenged
anxious
bed rotting
school avoidant

I don’t agree with charging stupid money for yo - yos though … is that how they are funding the current coaching ?? That’s sad

Show quote history

My kid is the most resilient child I know and has had to put up with things many adults wouldn't be able to cope with.

I'd actually struggle not to laugh if he was invited to a resilience workshop.

Original poster

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 20:54

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 20:46

Exactly this
we are in the midst of a huge surge in children with mental health problems

formal services like CAHMs and school counsellors are utterly overwhelmed

resilience training has its place, coaching kids in regulating emotions, problem solving, self care …

parents who don’t support such interventions, I bet are the ones who yell - there’s no support !!! When the kids are
screen addicted
socially challenged
anxious
bed rotting
school avoidant

I don’t agree with charging stupid money for yo - yos though … is that how they are funding the current coaching ?? That’s sad

Show quote history

Your assertion that people not supporting this are probably x, y, z is incorrect as far as I am concerned.

I don't support this because it is a simplistic approach to tackle a complex problem.

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Original poster

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 20:51

@FleaDogi don't like the narrative fuelling this - MH is getting worse because kids aren't resilient. Its akin to saying someone died of cancer because they didn't fight hard enough. You are right why MH is getting worse could fill an never ending post… however resilience isn't just about having the right attitude. Nurture aside, reasearch has shown how people literally have different thresholds for stress which is determined by multiple internal systems. I am not convinced that this approach will even begin to touch the high numbers of poor MH we are seeing. It is but a sticking plaster to cover a multitude of issues, and the plaster itself isn't a good one at that.

OP posts:

FleaDog · 08/07/2025 20:48

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 20:46

So how is the initiative funded? Does the company make the money from selling of the yo yos?

Show quote history

Not sure, it was at my dc school a while ago, they said it was ok, I dont know if yo yo sales fully cover the cost or just contribute, we just got told it was no cost to school and no requirement to sell a minimum amount.

PolyVagalNerve · 08/07/2025 20:46

PonyPatter44 · 08/07/2025 20:34

I think helping children to build resilience is really important- not entirely sure how yoyos fit into it though. Resilience doesn't mean suck it up and say nothing, either, and the PP suggesting that is frankly wrong. Resilience is about learning to cope with problems that life throws at you. Children have got to learn to cope with problems, otherwise you get adults who fall apart at the slightest thing.

Exactly this
we are in the midst of a huge surge in children with mental health problems

formal services like CAHMs and school counsellors are utterly overwhelmed

resilience training has its place, coaching kids in regulating emotions, problem solving, self care …

parents who don’t support such interventions, I bet are the ones who yell - there’s no support !!! When the kids are
screen addicted
socially challenged
anxious
bed rotting
school avoidant

I don’t agree with charging stupid money for yo - yos though … is that how they are funding the current coaching ?? That’s sad

Original poster

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 20:46

FleaDog · 08/07/2025 20:42

We had this at our dc school - the yoyos are mainly a fundraising side as the company didnt charge the school for the presentation.

Mental health / resilience wise, sadly ut is a growing concern that many chilsren just cannot cope with what life throws at them. Whether that is right or etong, good or bad, the drivers of this is a thread thst could go on and on but it's a huge problem.

So how is the initiative funded? Does the company make the money from selling of the yo yos?

OP posts:

Original poster

Sparklybutold · 08/07/2025 20:44

PonyPatter44 · 08/07/2025 20:34

I think helping children to build resilience is really important- not entirely sure how yoyos fit into it though. Resilience doesn't mean suck it up and say nothing, either, and the PP suggesting that is frankly wrong. Resilience is about learning to cope with problems that life throws at you. Children have got to learn to cope with problems, otherwise you get adults who fall apart at the slightest thing.

The problem is, is this assumes that the playing field is level - its not. When kids MH in the UK is spiralling at massive numbers its not just about not being resilient. Support structures have shifted massively with many not getting the same level of support as there parents did. Social media and AI completely overhauling how kids see themselves and others and the expectations within. So many ordinary goalposts being so out of reach now - job security, homes, cost of living. The resilience workshop should form part of a whole school approach, the reality is, it is not. ND on the rise, SEND provisions not being fit for purpose, school finances being stretched beyond baseline. And this is just in the schools. MH provisions in health and social care lacking, poor housing and poverty impacting more families, chronic illnesses on the rise, the list could go on.

OP posts:

FleaDog · 08/07/2025 20:42

We had this at our dc school - the yoyos are mainly a fundraising side as the company didnt charge the school for the presentation.

Mental health / resilience wise, sadly ut is a growing concern that many chilsren just cannot cope with what life throws at them. Whether that is right or etong, good or bad, the drivers of this is a thread thst could go on and on but it's a huge problem.

CarpetKnees · 08/07/2025 20:39

What @PonyPatter44 said