Resilience workshops in primary

Support structures have shifted massively with many not getting the same level of support as there parents did.

@Sparklybutold Slightly off topic, but what support structures were available for previous generations? I don’t remember anything much (I’m 50) and they certainly weren’t around for even older people.

Your post demonstrates misunderstanding of how important education is. If you’re not in lessons, you are exceedingly unlikely to achieve your academic potential. That will lead to, most likely, poverty. Which will exacerbate (if not give rise to new) mental health challenges. If your expectation is that a child should spend as much time as they like in a supportive/pastoral/counselling/well being focused setting and not in lessons, fine. Do not expect them to ever be financially independent. Expect them to then be in a spiral of self doubt and lack of personal fulfilment. I see multiple students, every day, who spend a significant majority of their lesson time not in lessons, because they aren’t happy, because they are anxious, because they have friendship issues etc. Those students are academically behind and some will never catch up now. I don’t just mean ‘won’t get grade 9’, I mean functionally illiterate.

Im not at all surprised to read this.

Resilience grows from a lifetime of having it modelled to us by family and teachers. Who also support and encourage us as individuals when we face challenges.

It can no more be taught in 4 x 30 minute sessions than you would teach someone to 'be kind and compassionate in half a term'.

Your second paragraph is a sweeping generalisation. My 8yo dd is autistic. She most definitely benefits from resilience coaching, but in her case it revolves around us focusing her attention on the things she very much can have control over. We agree Plan Bs with her which are gradually having the effect of helping her realise that she can do things she once thought impossible, providing she has a fall back plan (a safety net) for when she feels totally overwhelmed - and that that's ok and preferable to her just giving up immediately. The more she overcomes, the more she realises she's capable of and that things aren't as scary as she thinks, the more she's willing to push herself a little more, the more she finds life easier because she has been armed with coping mechanisms. It becomes a virtuous circle. Yes, we have to work harder at it with her than parents of NT children do. However, the difference in her in the space of two years is immense. And that is because we have worked hand in glove with her school and teachers, following an ehcp needs assessment, to understand her better and apply the right strategies. So I do agree with you that a whole school (whole life) approach, rather than gimmicks, is the key to better outcomes.

Yo-yos are a gimmick, I agree. I've no idea what the actual content of the resilience workshops is to gauge whether it's worthwhile or not. Do you know? Much of our approach has been self learned, with some CAMHS one to one support thrown in. But the basis is always the same - enabling her to experience new things, with a back up plan in place. She's still allowed to say "no, I absolutely don't believe I can do that" and we move on, return to it another time. And there are still the inevitable meltdowns, but they are far fewer.

Appreciate my dd is just one autistic child, and this won't work for all autistic children - or indeed the plethora of other SEN needs, personalities etc. But there are a good number for whom it will benefit.

And lots of evidence that whole class interventions DON'T work, or can be harmful.

Look up Dr Lucy Foulkes at Oxford.

The recent Wellbeing in Schools trial found that some interventions increased help-seeking behaviours in children (a good thing provided there's help to be sought) but none directly improved resilience or emotional problems.

That's what Resilience should mean.

Increasingly, it's used as an excuse for whatever poor treatment a person, or school is delivering.

Oh my goodness I am not 100% sure we didn't have someone in to flog yoyos in my school too- 35ish years ago!

Who are these people.... who IS Ned?! 😂

Resilience in students is incredibly, insanely low. Not just emotional resilience, but the skills to be able to accept being wrong and making mistakes, the resilience to write a whole paragraph without bellyaching, the resilience to do homework, the resilience to not use the toilet once an hour… Don’t get me started on the resilience to deal with normal things like friendship ups and downs, crowded corridors, loud lesson bells. We are at record breaking levels of adjustments because, if you boil down about 80% of the reasons given: my child feels mildly uncomfortable.

This is also a thing in the NHS right now - never mind getting us enough staff to, you know, support patients, or dealing with endemic bullying and lousy HR who don't know their backsides from their elbows, let alone employment law, let's have resilience sessions in which we apply gaslighting principles to make you leave the poor ickle bullies alone. The yo yos are a whole new set of nonsense though, do they make the tea for that price?!

Indeed.

How sad.

Thank you for your post, I completely agree with you. I am sorry to read though that your child has had to have experienced trauma.

Have you actually said this to an Autistic adult? Your post is incredibly patronising for a start. It is a polite way of suggesting ABA for autistic people? I am a survivor of significant child abuse in the care system. Which by the way Care Leavers see the word RESILIENCE as offensive. I am also Autistic and a professional. I firetrucking survived because I had no choice. I do not need to attend a resilience class. I would certainly not be advocating for a SEND child to attend a resilience class. This honestly reminds me of the crap a senior manager came out with at work one Christmas. We must go around the room and state what we are grateful for. I honestly wanted to say I am grateful my husband takes me away at this time of year so I do not need to pretend to celebrate Christmas. Which for me was hell on earth as a child.

As I've already said, my child doesn't need resilience training. He already is incredibly resilient after everything he has been through.

He could lead a resilience workshop.

@PolyVagalNerve People develop mental illness despite being resilient, some of the people I know who are diagnosed with severe mental illness are also some of the most resilient humans I have ever met.

Ok, I give up !!!

just don’t be that person that opts out of something that may actually benefit you / your kids and then bleat on later … oh there is no support !!!

and if you / your kids are unfortunate to end up in mental health services in the future.. guess what ? They will be trying to help you develop

emotional regulation skills
employ self care
have problem solving skills …

aka : resilience !!

I'm still failing to see how a workshop is going to manage that.

It's still a no from me. I'd be opting my son out.

I don't see how constant positivity when something is clearly shit builds resilience at all.

It doesn't and actually when you think about it, probably leads to burnout quicker than the simple acknowledgement that life isn't fair sometimes, and its OK to be pissed off about that. I've taught mine to set their bar low when it comes to happiness, you wake up, you are winning at life, if you can improve on that, all the better !

Constant positivity is not resilience training -

it’s about being able to cope with adversity without self destructive behaviours

It’s clearly written for the pop psychology audience -
The authors - Clinical psycholgists are able to write in peer reviewed publications but that isn’t accessible
to many readers - hence stripping it back to the principles

any person who has ability to use emotion reg skills etc will be able to weather adversity more effectively …

agree a good example is someone with neurodiversity ..

what does someone with ND need ?
understanding of what works for them, what proves difficult

how to communicate / access reasonable adjustments

How to regulate emotions, self care and problem solve in order to function alongside other skills are what specialist autism services coach …

you can’t avoid the fact that humans need to have the skills to meet their basic activities of daily living, manage moods and emotions and be able to use basic problem solving skills

many are not taught this in the home to their detriment -

these basics are what schools, mental health services etc etc are trying to help people develop or access the support from carers who can help them do this -

and you know what? Sometimes shit things happen and it is perfectly fine to acknowledge that with your child. I don't see how constant positivity when something is clearly shit builds resilience at all.

It's probably this:

http://www.thenedshow.com/

Problem is that so much of the time which should be educating is taken up by supporting kids with their mental health / pastoral care / etc …

somethings got to crack ..