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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that not all trauma deserves sympathy?

33 replies

YourHangryCritic · 08/07/2025 13:01

We’re constantly told to “be kind” because “you never know what someone’s going through.” But some people weaponise their trauma as a get out of jail card for bad behaviour. Trauma explains, sure but it doesn’t excuse.

OP posts:
pointythings · 08/07/2025 13:15

80smusicandavoulevant · 08/07/2025 13:12

I’ve been through a lot of trauma in my life but I’m still kind to others. Trauma is not an excuse to take it out on other people

Same, if anything it has made me a better person. You can feel compassion for someone's trauma and at the same time refuse to accept it as an excuse for bad behaviour.

Jellycatspyjamas · 08/07/2025 13:14

I think people generally deserve sympathy when they go through hard times. I can feel for you and recognise the impact on you and still find your behaviour unacceptable to me, they aren’t mutually exclusive.

80smusicandavoulevant · 08/07/2025 13:12

I’ve been through a lot of trauma in my life but I’m still kind to others. Trauma is not an excuse to take it out on other people

MidnightPatrol · 08/07/2025 13:11

Didn’t you post this a couple of days ago?

Samsamspanner10 · 08/07/2025 13:11

YANBU some people cause there own trauma and act like victims.

PurpleChrayn · 08/07/2025 13:08

YANBU.

A lot of people are just big wet lettuces.

mbosnz · 08/07/2025 13:05

I think all trauma deserves compassion. However, as you say, trauma is not a get out of jail free card. It may be a reason, but it is not an excuse, for bad behaviour, especially when it traumatises others.

For example, trauma informed my alcohol addiction. That may be a reason, (it is), but it will never, ever, be an excuse for the trauma I inflicted on my children and my husband as a result of my addiction before I actively sought and gained sobriety.

CreationNat1on · 08/07/2025 13:05

Yes, and also the menopause (which I m currently experiencing), it s also not a shield against accountability for bad behaviour.

We all have mental health. None of us are punch bags or release targets for other people s mental health issues.

Seek out treatment from the correct resources, if you need to.

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