TW - SA. To think that infidelity is rape

YABU. So very much.

Infidelity can be heartbreaking and a massive betrayal. So can being fired from work or dumped by someone you loved. None of those things however are sexual assault and all the horrors that go with it.

VERY unreasonable and insulting to victims of SA.

I get what you mean - it wasn’t properly informed consent. But legally it’s not rape.

Deception can sometimes negate consent and then it is rape. But the deception has to be connected with the sex act eg “yes I am wearing a condom” when they’re not. A lie about circumstances, like saying they are single when actually married, or faithful when not, doesn’t count.

Well by law it isn't rape. It could be part of coercive control or some other pattern of unlawful behaviour though.

I mean if it was, every single person who's sexually active and was sleeping with more than one person (without the others knowledge) would be guilty.

As you know, the feeling of betrayal over someone cheating is different to actually being physically or mentally forced to have sex.

I get where you are coming from but no it is not rape.

I do think there is a grey area of how we view things where consent is expressly based on XX (i.e “I only consent to have sex with you IF you are not having sex with others”) and they have sex with others it’s like theft of consent. But the criteria on which consent is based on would have to be clearly expressed. (I doubt this is the case in your example.)

But even that would not apply to you as you know your partner is a cheat and continue to have sex with them.

Technically , you’re right. Legally , practically and socially though, you know it will never be seen as such.