To go on holiday with DD’s, but not DS?

Well there it is again, OP... you keep doing stuff and then telling us you never do this stuff. You think about leaving your son behind but you never make him feel left out or not part of the the family. You don't feel any need to justify yourself to us but you post 500 times justifying yourself to us. You never brag about your holidays but... You can see (I hope) why people are making their own judgements about things... and it looks pretty terrible to talk at length about how many expensive holidays you have yet suggest that taking your son with your other children on the next one isn't worth the money.

Anyway, if you feel this stung by what strangers on the Internet think of you, your son is much, much more sensitive to what his mother thinks of him. You'll get no judgement from me for remarrying and having more kids, but people aren't wrong to point out that he's experienced a a lot of upheaval and is likely to be more in need of reassurance. If you struggle to understand why going away without him could be damaging, that's a concern. It suggests he might not be as reassured as you think he is. We could be wrong, but you asked us what we thought, and this is what we think.

And Dubai is utterly soulless. I hate the place.

But this sort of action could cause that - clearly the first time you are contemplating doing this, but by doing this without him it may start to affect him - particularly as he gets older.

@TheFoz why would you do it if you knew your daughter might think you are having a better time

I don't think they are laughable at all. You've consistently displayed more concern about what people think of you than what your actions might do to your son and tried to make the discussion about you rather than him. And it's clearly very important to you that we all believe you have lots of money and a fabulous jet setting lifestyle. Fwiw, I do believe you on that. But it just makes the idea that you'd think about trying to save costs by not taking your son with you even more horrible. If you're not lying to us then you've clearly got the money for the holidays, so if it's not the finances that make you consider leaving one child out, then what is it? Because that's likely to manifest itself some other way even if you do right by him for the trip.

And Dubai really is shite.

I don't think this is a very nice thing to do, no.

OP I’m with you. I would do the same but in the case of my dd she would be jealous that we might be having a better time than she would be having with her dad.

Go for it. You are doing nothing wrong.

Well you said in your opening post you can afford the trip for 4 people but can’t afford it for 5 so why not leave the partner at home?

Have to agree with this. All the jokes aside (Dubai really is soulless and shit, though), there's something very off about how OP was more concerned about getting disapproval on the Internet than the potential effect on her son and tried to change the entire discussion to make it about her and her feelings.

And the transparent attempts to brag about her numerous expensive holidays look much worse when you remember she was seriously considering leaving her son behind so she didn't have to spend the money. It's good she's not going to leave him behind after all, but I do hope this stuff really is all as performative as it looks, otherwise the messed up priorities will manifest themselves some other way.

As I said previously it has nothing to do with the mother where that dad takes his son. This is about not being able to afford to take all the family away. The op said this in her opening comment. I suggest you go and read it.

All that money and no taste. What a waste of so many holidays. If that's a sizable portion of the holidays he's been on, YAB massive U to deprive him of a trip to Europe.

@Suncloudstars you never answered my question, would you do a weekend or short break with just your son?

This

Op the issue here just so I can say it clearly is that your son does not appear to be a priority for you at all.

The holiday is just one example. The fact you didn’t know that leaving him out of a family holiday would be so hurtful to a child is really displaying a lack of moral compass and emotional intelligence.

So you have already booked, and either people in your life have already said it’s not on or your conscience is needling you, and you posted here for approval and validation and received the opposite. Now you are angry and pissed off because you feel like a bad parent and person. But thar IS what you have done…. No doubt you are uncomfortable.

I have no wish to upset you or judge you harshly, but you don’t appear to care about your son very much, and that is why you are getting such a strong reaction on here.

It’s not that difficult to read you to be honest.

Nah you won’t be going

Ah well if it’s so shit he won’t be missing out on anything will he. Win win!