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Original poster

Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

680 replies

GlitterGold7 · 08/07/2025 12:06

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

OP posts:
FeelinTwentySixPointTwo · 08/07/2025 12:30

You have no idea what is going on here. Keep well out.

Of course the whole thing could still be entirely innocent. But if it is an affair - perhaps the husband/wife already know. Perhaps they're in an open relationship. Perhaps they had been having an affair but had met up to end it. Anything could be the case.

But even if we accept that what you believe is true (ie it is an affair and their families and school governors don't yet know)... what on earth makes you think that you're the one who should be doing something about it?!

comeandhaveteawithme · 08/07/2025 12:30

If you know, and half the parents in the school know, I find it very unlikely that the spouses don't know.

tempacct · 08/07/2025 12:30

Unless you know them personally or it's affecting you/your children, stay out of it. What would you hope to do anyway?

MissyB1 · 08/07/2025 12:29

Mind your own business!! And stop listening to, and spreading, gossip.

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/07/2025 12:28

I worked in a school in the early 90s, half the staff were shagging each other and it was well know by the staff and pupils.

RaraRachael · 08/07/2025 12:28

In 40 years of teaching in multiple schools I've never heard of a code of conduct for staff

Oneeyedonkey · 08/07/2025 12:28

And this has exactly what to do with you?
Become aware?? School gate gossips the bloody lot of you!! Grow up!

Helpmeplease2025 · 08/07/2025 12:28

Eyesopenwideawake · 08/07/2025 12:23

What outcome would you like to see happen?

Show quote history

Public flogging, sounds like. In front of all the school Mums the HT hasn’t danced to the tune of in the past.

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 08/07/2025 12:27

So seen a motel, so not at school doing the dirty? How are they abusing their position exactly?

Neemie · 08/07/2025 12:25

Would you do something if it was your dentist, doctor, postman, pharmacist, estate agent?

Isthisnormal10000 · 08/07/2025 12:25

Leave well alone. They are adults. You don't knoe a thing about their marriages or what their intentions are.
Not your business.
We don't have moral police, adults are allowed to have affairs, its not great but certainly not illegal..
How is it abusing a position between two consenting adults?

Bottleflag · 08/07/2025 12:25

In my school's code of conduct (which coincidently I read yesterday!) they should report themselves to the governors and head should have others present for any promotion or disciplinary matters involving the teacher, but there's nothing that says they can't have a realtionship, even an extra marital one.

The head of one of the most successful secondaries in our area is now living with the Deputy Head he got pregnant while married to someone else. It's not a secret, neither is it considered to affect his ability to do the job.

WooleyMunky · 08/07/2025 12:24

Not your circus, not your monkeys.
They are both consenting adults, whatever your opinion of the morality...

Eyesopenwideawake · 08/07/2025 12:23

GlitterGold7 · 08/07/2025 12:06

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

What outcome would you like to see happen?

FrenchandSaunders · 08/07/2025 12:21

Not illegal is it. This goes on all the time.

My teen DD was aware of two teachers at it on a school trip abroad.

Helpmeplease2025 · 08/07/2025 12:21

GlitterGold7 · 08/07/2025 12:19

No, they were seen at a hotel at a motorway service station together, which confirmed more historic suspicions which people had raised.

Show quote history

You sound massively over-involved in this.

EmpressaurusKitty · 08/07/2025 12:19

I remember as a teenager seeing 2 of my teachers (one was definitely married) slipping into a house with his hand on her back.

They didn’t see me because I was in a car, but they were bloody lucky it was me & not someone who might have spread the story all over the school.

All it will take is for them to get spotted by their pupils.

Original poster
GlitterGold7 · 08/07/2025 12:19

RealEagle · 08/07/2025 12:15

Is it just mums at school gate gossip?

No, they were seen at a hotel at a motorway service station together, which confirmed more historic suspicions which people had raised.

OP posts:
RaraRachael · 08/07/2025 12:17

Back in the 70s our married DHT was having an affair with a much younger married teacher. Everybody knew about it. They ended up getting married, having 2 kids and living happily ever after.

Nobody's business.

elliejjtiny · 08/07/2025 12:16

This happened when i was in primary school, it was a messy business but the head got away with it. This was the 1990's though when things were very different.

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 08/07/2025 12:16

None of your business. You sound like one of those god awful gossipy school mums.

RealEagle · 08/07/2025 12:15

Is it just mums at school gate gossip?

Nearlyamumoftwo · 08/07/2025 12:13

I wouldn't. It will do no good exposing the affair. Yes it's immoral, and yes it's never mice to know the "culprits" in these instances, but I'm going to assume they aren't breaking the law or posing a risk to children. Plenty of people meet their spouses at work, or at the least have affairs without it effecting their work and are able to remain professional, rightly or wrongly. Other teachers might get up to all sorts you aren't aware of. I do appreciate the shock though - it's like headteachers can do no wrong but they are human.

5128gap · 08/07/2025 12:13

How have you 'become aware' of this?

SaturdayDream · 08/07/2025 12:12

It’s got nothing to do with you.
I am presuming they are both consenting adults.

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