Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

I'm not touchy. Again you making judgements for no reason.

So your friend investigated all staff outings? Wow! Did she not have a life doing all that investigating on normal daily stuff?

What was her reasoning behind all the investigating?

There are many things they could be doing at a hotel. Most likely having a drink as people usually do when you meet up as adults.

How come you cannot think of anything to do with a male other than fuck them?

Why so touchy, there's nothing wrong with the tombola? My friend used to be a governor and she used to make cakes for fairs. Mind, she was also very aware of the importance of staff conduct issues and would absolutely have arranged to see the married boss to establish facts in a situation like this. Maybe they were doing 'beauty treatments' in a service station hotel 🤔.

Gloriia

So the head I am governor for went to her junior's house last weekend for a beauty treatment which the staff member does as a sideline. That is two females alone in a house while one touches the other. One being the boss and one being the junior.

Are they fucking? Is it a cause for concern?

She runs her own business on top of her work. Yes that is allowed. She is allowed more than 1 job so before you mention declaring/tax etc it is all above board.

Many do help out but they certainly do not organise things and do all the behind the scenes planning and prep for it.

That is the PTA job. If you think taking money on a stall is 'doing the tombola' then you have no idea as to what work goes into the fayres.

Surprised you even went to them given you begrudge them a fart.

So why do you keep saying you do know?

Nothing about this has suggested they are doing anything wrong. If someone is out and about at the weekend that is not doing anything wrong. Pushing to investigate someone just going about their business is not ok.

Staff conduct is important but what conduct is being broken by being out in public? Absolutely nothing!

Would you want all staff investigated because they met up with a colleague? There are many meetings with staff - weekly events in most schools. Staff go to each other's houses, sleep over, go on holidays together, go to events like the races, go out drinking, go shopping, go to each other's weddings, hen/stag dos, babysit for each other, help decorate, help run businesses, plan together, games nights, do joint training, be each others support in times of need.

You cannot police the meet ups because it is a male and a female meeting and you think that males and females are up to no good if they meet up due to your own sad little judgements on male/female friendships.

What if two female staff met up? Would that be a cause for concern? If not, why not?

'Governors don't do the tombola that is the PTA or children'

Ours were often manning stalls at school fairs tbf.

'You keep saying they have done something wrong without any reason to do so.'

We don't know do we! The op has concerns so those concerns need to be passed on confidentiality to someone to investigate. If a senior person isn't chasing junior staff there's no problem is there?

Governors should surely have some relevant experience and understand that staff conduct it very important and this is nothing as simple and silly as 'someone went out in public' .

You keep saying they have done something wrong without any reason to do so.

It is your opinion. You have said he is a sleaze, you have said that he is doing something wrong.

It is about the conduct of the staff and going to a hotel is nothing that breaches the code of conduct.

Nowhere on that code of conduct does it say that staff shouldn't socialise outside of school hours or visit a hotel. As I have said, doing normal things doesn't break the code of conduct. You cannot call an investigation because someone went out in public.

Governors don't do the tombola that is the PTA or children.

Governors do not deal with socks, that is the school staff. I think you do not know what each role is within a school.

I don't want the married boss to be 'tarred and feathered'. Without a doubt though they need to be held to account if they are chasing juniors, as I keep having to remind you it reflects badly on their judgement.

This isn't just my opinion, it is expected in every organisation that when someone senior is involved with someone very junior there may well be a clash of interests so transparency is vital to protect both the fling participants.

Governing isn't only about the Tombola and the right socks it is surely more importantly about the conduct of the staff.

Well they are asking them for what that person is doing in their spare time.

The boss doesn't need to be transparent at all if there is nothing happening. The boss has a right to privacy.

The governors get training and follow employment law. Shame you wish for that to be ignored because you would have this man tarred and feathered before he opens his mouth as you have already said he is guilty.

'An employer cannot ask for a minute by minute diary of what someone does in their spare time. That is not a right that an employer can demand.'

No one has suggested that and quite frankly it is astounding that this is what you've taken from the thread.

If a married boss is shagging their married junior then there are a whole load of potential problems such as favouritism, resentment, maybe unfair treatment once the fling ends. The boss needs to be transparent with their line manager. If they are a cheating sleaze, fine that is up to them. But to chase junior colleagues demonstrates a serious lack of judgement and that highlights questions regarding their overall ability.

Bumped into each other at the local Travellodge? Lovely. Meeting to fuck a married junior? Not so lovely.

As an aside I wonder what credentials governors need and do they get any kind of review/appraisal once in the role?!

Nope they do not need to do anything.

No one can demand they share their every move with their employers, that is absolutely not what employers can demand.

And they have a right not to and that doesn't mean guilt it means their human right and their employment rights.

Having boundaries with your employer is not indicative of guilt of doing something wrong.

An employer cannot ask for a minute by minute diary of what someone does in their spare time. That is not a right that an employer can demand.

Do you share your whole life with your colleagues if not then you are guilty of having an affair.

Safeguarding making sure kids are not run over.

Nope teaching kids how to behave is important in their adult life. Sending adults to a corporate interview in Elmo socks and pants that are more suited to gardening will not get them the job. You cannot cry that life is tough for kids these days trying to get work and then scratch your head and wonder why when they went dressed in skate park clothing - but yeah doesn't matter what they wear. Following rules is not part of learning.

Be interesting if they went into something like nursing they wouldn't cope would they being told they couldn't wear earrings and whatever they liked?

Kids growing up with a sense of entitlement to do as they please will create a world full of arsehole adults.

So they are knobbing in school time in the building while the kids are there during the school day in many schools? Have you actually heard yourself?

'If there is nothing to hide there is nothing to clarify. If there is nothing to hide then they don't need speaking to'

If there is something to hide they need to clarify.

Safeguarding isn't monitoring sock colour or trouser style then sending out fussy nitpicking emails about these non issues.

I meet males without having sex, it's these teachers in 'bonkfest' schools who are all at it apparently instead of trying to do a lesson plan.

If there is nothing to hide there is nothing to clarify. If there is nothing to hide then they don't need speaking to.

If you think safeguarding is 'ridiculous' then that says it all. Safeguarding children is paramount. Shocking you do not care about that.

Being a prefect doesn't mean you weren't hurt. Oh yes I remember you policed the boys toilets! That is where you obsession came from about not being able to meet males without having sex with them.

My point being, sorry to repeat but you seen to struggle with what I'm trying to say, is they should stop the ridiculous amount of emails about irrelevant stuff and focus on teaching,

'Who hurt you at school? Which teacher?'

None, I was a prefect remember .

'They are an excellent HT, whether or not they are a good spouse does not impact on their ability to do the job.'

It's not about being a good spouse it's about being a 'good' boss and bosses don't <or shouldn't> shag a married junior, it contravenes all kinds of codes of conduct.

If there's nothing to hide they won't mind clarifying things.

They are sent to all parents but yet again how did that impact on your child when it was sent to you? You said the kids were much better when the parking issues stopped. If it was sent to you why does that have any bearing on your children?

Schools do not have time to write a list of who walks, rides a bike or changes the way they get to school on a daily. An email is sent to all. It takes 2 minutes rather than writing a list of all the kids and sending it 1 by 1.

First you say they should spend less time on things like this but then want them sent individually to hundreds of kids. Make it make sense! If it isn't you then ignore and carry on as normal parents do. Only those it applies to get tetchy.

Again if you got an email about wrong trousers and your kids were in the correct ones how did it impact on them? They had the right ones on. No impact at all.

As if you think the teachers are the ones creating emails about parking instead of doing maths. It is senior staff who do that.

So first they were too busy having sex to answer emails. Then too busy having sex to do parents evening. Now too busy safeguarding kids to teach.

Who hurt you at school? Which teacher?

So you have flamboyant tutors - great now your kids are at Butlins and away from your constant whinging off they might not have to please you so much! Very evident they can finally stop with the people pleasing they have had to do.

They might be animated and lively but nothing about that says good teacher. You wouldn't know that as you think it does. Especially at uni when most of their learning is self learning. How will your kids cope at uni without Mr Tumbles telling them everything?!

I have recently been seen in a hotel with our male Deputy Head. We were at a safeguarding conference...it was very definitely not sexy. But even if we had gone to the hotel for a drink, or for dinner, that would not be proof of an affair either. Two people who work together being seen in a public place is not suspicious behaviour, nor would it be in breach of the staff code of conduct in any school I've worked in.

Absolutely this. Imagine if you had been reported for attending the conference and as some suggested report to spouses that you were having an affair. I imagine the impact of that would be awful for you and damaging to your family and career.

I was still sent many ott excitable letters about parking even if ours walked and then got the bus for secondary?! I was still subject to several The Wrong Trousers emails even if ours ticked all the correct boxes. They should put as much effort into teaching as monitoring this crap.

Again, I know the uni tutors are engaged and interested with their student becaue our kids tell us! .

The HoD is there to manage the effectiveness of the department and ensure that teaching in that area is good. If teaching is poor and they are not working with that teacher to improve it then that is them failing.

Say if they lead maths it is up to the maths lead to ensure that maths teaching across the school is good and consistent. If not they have to act and have to show what they have done to improve this. They have to observe and give judgements on areas for development based on the sip and action plans. They then have to show how they have improved the standards in that department as a result of the input. They get paid to lead and if they are not leading then what are they doing?

So it is for the HoD to identify areas for development for that staff member. If you know what they need to do to develop then by all means share your lesson observations with them to triangulate this information then they have your lesson obs alongside their own. Then they can give individual targets or overall targets for the department and how it is going to be achieved. This is then monitored.

They got the bus so how was parking an issue that related to them? I mean either parking was an issue or they walked then got the bus? Were they parking the bus? 😂

If they didn't tuck their shirt in and had to learn the hard way time and time again then that is a them problem.

Teachers know who their students are, sadly parents don't know who the teachers are but given you never bothered to speak to the teachers then you wouldn't know that.

How do you know the tutors know the students - you haven't spoken to them! Tutors that rarely see the kids! ha!

As a parent I couldn't care less if my DC's Teacher and the HT were having an affair. As long as my DC are safe and happy in school, making progress with their learning and receiving support for their SEN then that's all that matters to me.

As someone who works in a school, my colleagues sex lives are of no consequence to me whatsoever. If I suspected my HT was having an affair with a member of staff, unless they were conducting said affair on school premises and/or during school hours or there was evidence that anyone had been coerced, I would consider it none of my business. I don't personally approve of infidelity, but since I'm not married to the HT then it doesn't affect me. They are an excellent HT, whether or not they are a good spouse does not impact on their ability to do the job.

I have recently been seen in a hotel with our male Deputy Head. We were at a safeguarding conference...it was very definitely not sexy. But even if we had gone to the hotel for a drink, or for dinner, that would not be proof of an affair either. Two people who work together being seen in a public place is not suspicious behaviour, nor would it be in breach of the staff code of conduct in any school I've worked in.