Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

I would forget you know anything about it op. Nothing good would come from interfering. They will likely get found out anyway, but it needn’t come from you.

Anyone else imagine the Op would be the type of person at the front of the crowd throwing rotten fruit at the woman being burned at the stake for supposedly being a witch?

None of your business whatsoever.

I was married for nearly 27 years. I met my late husband at work. At first, we were only workmates in the same department and then friends before we became an item.

3 years ago, a former pupil somehow got hold of a copy of the last staff photo taken for my first school. There was no malice in what they posted on a local FB group: they uploaded the picture and then put in as many names of staff members as they could.

My entry said "Miss [Maiden Name]. She followed Mr Weary to [Name of New] School."

Well, no. My first school was closed and I was transferred by the LA/council to the replacement school. Ditto the workmate who later became my husband."

We got engaged after working at the new school for a few years and DH informed our HT.

I was a bit peeved at the idea of my "following" a colleague to another school - sounds a bit stalkerish - but I reckoned that trying to correct the mistake online would just prolong the agony, so ignored it.

[Side note. DH's first wife worked in another school and had an affair with a colleague. It was an open secret at the other school, apparently. DH was the last to know. She confessed after sharing a room with the other bloke on a team building trip.]

ETA My point is that folk often get these stories wrong.

Why have you name changed for this? Surely there isn't so much personal information under your usual user name about your own identity that it would immediately identify your children's teachers as well?

On that basis of the unnecessary name change alone, I'm inclined not think this is probably not a genuine thread.

I was a teacher in a pretty prestigious primary school. The headteacher (married) was well known to have shagged a teacher. A few years after that he and the (also married) secretary were caught coming out of one of the classrooms looking pretty dishevelled during a staff BBQ after school. Luckily no kids in the building! I must admit as a lover of gossip, the fallout was spectacular.

Leave it alone OP.

'Don't get caught at Burger King at the M6 services'

This is code for swinging.

Obviously.

It does if it's the headteacher

Nothing just like two staff members fucking doesn't do that either.

🤣🤣🤣 (in place of the missing 😆 reaction).

😂😂Followed by a Daily Fail sad face story from the parents about how their teacher was daydreaming about her next secret hotel meeting instead of teaching phonics.

What is does do is cause staff to have resentment, distrust and disrespect to leadership.

Usually flings, relationships, affairs etc do not have any impact on making things awkward. What does is parents thinking that teachers aren't entitled to a private life and getting involved in their business and spreading gossip.

This isn’t about sex or morals. It is about power and, potentially, objectivity.

I don’t think the sighting described by OP counts as good evidence of an affair. I and many other (monogamous) people in my field would be tarred with the same brush by this reasoning.

IF there is an affair, it is no one’s business until the classroom teacher is involved in a conflict. Unless the affair is declared to the Governors, any child, teacher or parent on the other half of the conflict cannot be assured of a fair hearing and they will never know why. Even if the conflict is escalated to the Governors, their first step will be to go to the HT for his/her view. Accusations of an affair from the other party at that stage will not be well received.

Also, if the declaration to the Governors is confidential, I do not understand how complaints would work. Does the teacher say to the other party ‘Take that up with the Govs, not the HT’? This is an admission of the affair. For the same reason I can’t see anyone else saying it.

So if indeed there is a secret affair, I think this is a mess. The only solution is to make it public. This removes my objections concerning behaviour towards others, as the teacher can be managed by others.

OMG. A motorway service station.

Definitely rogering.

Not your business. They could be in open or broken marriages. Plus being seen in a hotel doesn't equal affair they could have been away on a course teachers do occasionally leave the school grounds

Nothing to do with you. No position is being 'abused'. Keep out of it and stop being so nosy.

If their colleagues have a work issue related to this, they can raise it with the governors, it's not down to the OP to imagine said issues and stick her beak in.

Because there is a conflict of interest.

in a typical relationship, everyone is aware of the conflict so protocols can be established. In a ‘secret’ and especially in an affair situation there is massive scope for issues such as the teacher not being held properly to account if parents complain about their teaching or conduct, the teacher receiving undeserved promotions to HOD etc.

it’s the same as in any corporate structure. In many industries it even goes so far that one person has to move departments or companies to avoid conflicts of interest. And that’s in public relationships. Not secret affairs where dubious behaviours involving protection and favouritism are even more likely

No need to do anything. Someone will talk and it will all come out before summer is over. (Don’t be the person who talks - it’s not your business!)

Transparency isn't the OP's issue. She's accusing them of being unable to teach properly because they're too busy thinking about shagging each other. Which would be the same as the example given here, hence it is comparable and apt. Lots of teachers are in various kinds of adult relationships. It doesn't stop them doing their jobs or make them a moral threat to the children they teach.

A Jeremy Kyle style lie detector and/or DNA test. With the results read out in front of a whole school assembly.

Nothing else will cut it

what's it got to do with you?

'Code of conduct doesn't say do not have sex'

Oh is the op 'are teachers allowed to have sex'?

No. The op is a married head teacher is shagging a junior married member of staff. A potential abuse of their power and a potential massive headache when it all goes tits up.

This surely makes things awks for their colleagues too?

Yet the government still provides a code of standards for them, which includes personal and professional conduct.

Of course it's for HR (or governors really) to deal with, but they still need to be alerted that there's an issue.