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Original poster

Do you let your little boy wear dresses?

108 replies

FanofLeaves · 08/07/2025 10:31

DS3 is a big fan of Frozen. I’m not a ‘Disney adult’ or anything like that, my first time seeing the film was at the age of 39. He loves the songs from it too and belts them out at any opportunity. His two best friends at nursery are girls and they have frozen dresses to prance about in so he asked me to get him one too so he could join in. He’s now the proud owner of the sparkly purple number that Elsa wears at the start of Frozen 2.

He’s not content just wearing it at nursery and has been wearing it at a family gathering over the weekend and singing his songs. His girl cousin had a couple of other princess dresses at her house and they had a wonderful time dancing and singing all over the garden in various frocks.

The problem is DH, he wasn’t with us but saw the pictures on the family group chat and has asked me to ‘dial down the dress thing’ as he says it’s just not something I should be indulging or encouraging. FWIW this is completely led by DS who also loves dinosaurs and cars and what not and I know him dressing like Elsa doesn’t mean he wants to be a girl or any of that nonsense. I doubt it’s a lasting phase but one he seems to be really enjoying. He did asks me if he’d ‘grow into a girl’ and of course I said no, because you are a boy.

So my question is, do you or would you allow your little boy to dress or pretend to be a princess? I can’t put my finger on what DH’s problem is with it (and he can’t seem to eloquently put it into words either, just that he doesn’t like it) or if I should take his feelings into account and, as he said, ‘dial it back’. While I don’t actively encourage I don’t deny anything either, when he asks to wear the dress I just put it on him.

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/07/2025 10:46

At 2 and 3 my Gds enjoyed dressing up in ‘princess’ dresses, when his slightly older sister was doing the same. Not sure he ever went out in them, though, my SiL would not have been impressed. At the same time he was mad keen on dinosaurs, toy cars, etc.

Within a couple of years, though, he’d have been horrified at any such thing, and at nearly 9 he’s very much a stereotypical boy.

WomenShouldStillWinWomensSportsIsBack · 08/07/2025 10:46

Thunderpants88 · 08/07/2025 10:43

As much as you have to encourage role play and fun you also have to protect your child as far as possible from cruel kids. A boy wearing a dress to a princess party is vastly different from a boy wearing a dress to non uniform day

Show quote history

I maybe shouldn't have let him wear it to school but I thought he'd be fine after the birthday party.

FWIW it was a village school that only went up to Y2 so it seemed "safe" at the time given that about 1/2 of the school had been at the aforementioned birthday party.

Tygertiger · 08/07/2025 10:44

I did, yes. DS was Elsa-obsessed for a few years (his fourth birthday party was Frozen themed) and wore his Elsa dress non-stop. He also loved putting make-up on, high heels (mine or his grandmothers’), big jewellery etc. For a while he collected sparkly things and had boxes full of costume jewellery, gems etc.

He’s almost 15 now and dresses in a stereotypically masculine way and looks like the vast majority of teenage boys. Tbh I miss his toddler flamboyance! It’s a perfectly normal phase for all children to go through, and please tell your DH to get over his outdated concepts of boys’ toys and girls’ toys. Toys and costumes don’t have a gender.

Thunderpants88 · 08/07/2025 10:43

WomenShouldStillWinWomensSportsIsBack · 08/07/2025 10:39

This is a super common phase for little boys to go through, when they're just exploring dress up. When my DS went through this phase I leaned into it, got him a rainbow sparkly princess dress, and let him wear it. I've always been really clear with him that he can dress up in dresses but that doesn't change who he is on the inside, he's still himself.
He wore it to his friend's birthday party (a princess party) and it was fine.
A week later, he wore it to school for non-uniform day (he was in reception) and the kids in year 2 were horrible to him. He came home, took the dress off, told me what had happened and never wore it again.
I maybe shouldn't have let him wear it to school but I thought he'd be fine after the birthday party. Anyway he's now almost 6 and wants to be a penguin so now it's 24/7 Penguin Town in this house instead. 🐧 ETA and we've had a conversation about how he can't really be a penguin, but that it's lots of fun pretending to be one.

Edited

As much as you have to encourage role play and fun you also have to protect your child as far as possible from cruel kids. A boy wearing a dress to a princess party is vastly different from a boy wearing a dress to non uniform day

Kreepture · 08/07/2025 10:40

yep. Perfectly normal and part of exploring and imagination.

Would they say the same if its was your DD dressing up as Batman or Optimus Prime?

WomenShouldStillWinWomensSportsIsBack · 08/07/2025 10:39

This is a super common phase for little boys to go through, when they're just exploring dress up. When my DS went through this phase I leaned into it, got him a rainbow sparkly princess dress, and let him wear it. I've always been really clear with him that he can dress up in dresses but that doesn't change who he is on the inside, he's still himself.
He wore it to his friend's birthday party (a princess party) and it was fine.
A week later, he wore it to school for non-uniform day (he was in reception) and the kids in year 2 were horrible to him. He came home, took the dress off, told me what had happened and never wore it again.
I maybe shouldn't have let him wear it to school but I thought he'd be fine after the birthday party. Anyway he's now almost 6 and wants to be a penguin so now it's 24/7 Penguin Town in this house instead. 🐧 ETA and we've had a conversation about how he can't really be a penguin, but that it's lots of fun pretending to be one.

GoldMerchant · 08/07/2025 10:37

Your DS likes the dress because it's sparkly and pretty and his friends/cousins have them. He may always like pretty sparkly things or he may not, and both of those outcomes are fine.

Your DH has some outdated ideas about what masculinity is and gendered expectations for children's play. I would just say next time, "I'm going to let DS play with what he wants to play with. Our job is to offer him the opportunity to play in lots of different ways. And dressing up and role play is excellent for building his imagination and social skills." (I'm going to guess he'd have no issues with DS dressing as Fireman Sam, for example).

I'm quite sad now that peer pressure has started with my DS and he'll be excited about sparkly fairy wings and then a friend will say "boys don't do that" and suddenly he doesn't want to.

BarnacleBeasley · 08/07/2025 10:37

Loads of little boys have dressing-up costumes. Girls just do have better costumes than boys at that age, so all the boys aged 2-3ish at nursery like to put the princess dresses on too.

My DS is into rainbow unicorns, because who wouldn't be, and prefers leggings and colourful tops. I pretty much let him wear what he likes, but I guess I do draw a line somewhere because I don't buy him dresses for everyday wear, and I have also steered him away from pink sparkly trainers. I do let him get leggings and t-shirts from either the girls' or the boys' section of the shop though (while trying to encourage him to get the 'boy' leggings as the ones for girls are so flimsy).

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