Do you let your little boy wear dresses?

My son had an Elsa dress. He didn’t want to be a girl, he wanted to be able to dress like one of his favourite characters. My MIL was similarly concerned.

Interestingly, he also had a Simba costume. She was never worried that he might grow up to be a lion

My son is 14 now brand into rugby and gaming like most of his mates. He soent a full year in Disney princess dresses when he was 4/5 bless him: just dressing up.

Mine was obsessed with Tinkerbell at this age and had all the outfits, wings and wands. He also loved having his nails painted!

He’s almost adult now and a very manly man.

Kids don’t see gendered clothes in the same way adults have been socialised to. They just think oooooooh sparkly or ooooooo, I want to be a fairy! And enjoy dressing up as characters they enjoy watching. All normal and something that should be encouraged.

Of course he should wear what he likes, and I'd consider letting him wear it to Morrisons or whatever. I think it's a real shame that the message is 'do what the bullies want and hide away' rather than 'they're the problem, not you'. Not criticizing you OP. Difficult to put your head above the parapet.

How different this thread is than the 35 pages worth of outrage and hysteria when someone wanted their DS in light blue shorts for school! Absolutely not was the message there, though still along the same lines of 'let the bullies win'.

I hope one day boys and men (well, everyone) really can wear what they want.

I feel sorry for your child having such a close minded parent.

When my DS was 3 he loved wearing dresses. We didn't actually buy him any - he got them from the dressing up box at pre school and some belonging to his sister (2 years older).

Now he's 15 and into football and gaming like a typical teenage boy. He doesn't believe me when I tell him about the dress phase!

Yes, I do. I try to make sure I'm led by him but when he was a baby and toddler I put him in all his sisters clothes rather than buy new and so it's continued. I asked him if he wanted summer dress for this school term (he's five now, his first year at school) or shorts as we had both from DD and he opted for dress. On the first day, he came home saying it was a bit embarrassing because other kids were asking if he was a girl and looking at him. I asked if he wanted the shorts tomorrow or his normal trousers and he said no, he wanted the dress. At the end of the week I asked if they were still saying things and he said no, not after the first day.
When we're getting dressed up I.e. for a celebration meal out or a party I will offer him the pretty dresses in his size and he almost invariably says no now. There is one cotton skater dress he likes to wear to the beach though.

Yes. DS loves anything sparkly. Gravitates towards it, it’s a sensory thing I think. My dad was a bit taken aback.. “do you think he might be (whispers) gay?? I don’t mind I just want to know” which made me laugh… he’s 3, I don’t know about gay but I suspect mild autism.

In the house or friends or relatives house absolutely in public no and only dress up dresses i wouldn't buy my son a dress

Of course you should allow him to wear a dress - he has no concept of dresses being 'for girls', he just likes the dress. Stopping him from wearing thing he likes of giving him the message that there is something wrong with him for wanting to wear a dress will be far more damaging than a passing phase for wearing a princess dress.

yeah I did do. DS2 loved dresses. Both at home and at nursery and play groups. If he'd wanted to wear them at parties, that would have been fine too. H didnt like it at first, but learned to live with it. I made him a mermaid tail he wore in the bath as well. (DS2 not H!)
He is now nearly 16 and only wears one pair of jeans + band t-shirts. I kind of miss his flamboyance!

DS is nearly 21. When he was about 3 he went through a phase of going everywhere dressed in his sisters Mrs Claus outfit - (he didn't like the santa one he had) with loads of sparkly claps in his hair pushing a pink dolls pram. My
MIL hated it basically accused me of abuse but he grew out of it and is now a 6ft 4 rugby player type which a manual job, girlfriend and lives in joggies and hoodies and do you know what even if he wasn't who cares as long as they are happy

Would you stop a girl from putting on a Spider-Man costume? No you wouldn’t so it works both ways.

It’s a costume and he enjoys the film it doesn’t need to be made a big deal.

Why do we see it as such an issue for boys to idolise or appreciate female characters?

Clothing is literally just material we put on our bodies to cover it that is cut in different ways and made in different colours. It shouldn’t be made in certain ways for different genders.

DH's problem is sexism. It's just dressing up, that's it.

Exactly. It's a passing phase.

I'm not a parent but my brother wore a tutu pretty much every day from age 4 to 5. What would be wrong with that? He has three sisters so I guess was just following our lead.

If it helps your DH get on board, DB is now a happily married dad of two. Wearing a skirt did not 'turn him gay'. My nephew is actually gay and has never worn any form of girl clothing. Both amazing men as I'm sure your son will be!

I have four boys and DS3 was the one of the four who loved singing all the songs from Frozen. I didn't have any costumes for him to wear but he enjoyed singing along and watching and rewatching the films. It was a phase. Its all Pokemon and video games now he's almost 10.

a question without any opinion - are the dressing-up outfits considered costumes and only/mostly used during playtime?

Is there a sense that eg for a family meal out, we wear ‘nice’ clothes? Or is DH thinking specifically boys don’t wear girls clothes and if DS was dressed as a fireman/dinosaur/ transformer that’d be ok?

In an ideal world there would be no clothing or interests tied to your sex. Unfortunately we are some way from achieving that state, and the recent thinking about 'gender' that links clothing choices and behaviour to being man/boy or wonan/girl, has taken us back several steps.
So the reality is, if a child wears clothes that are strongly associated with the opposite sex, there will be negative attention.
As a parent you have to navigate that in the way best for your child and this may change depending on their age and the context. A three year old boy in a frozen dress is probably too young for the negativity to impact them. At five, at school, they may be bullied and teased.
I think breaking down sex based stereotypes is important, but I'm never convinced that we should send in young children to the front line of battle for the cause. Our priority is to protect, and sometimes this involves being realistic about the world they actually have to live in, while we the adults work to change it.

My little boy loved dressing up - he was obsessed with Frozen. He often wore his sister’s dressing up outfits and also liked sparkly eyeshadow and nail varnish. The colour pink, unicorns and rainbows were also favourites.

He’s 9 now and can’t get him to wear anything other than a football strip.

No

Like The previous poster, FS wore a lot of sparkles, seriously skirts and dresses and fairy stuff when he was a toddler/young child. He's now 15 and will occasionally borrow his sister's more gender-neutral clothes but dresses in a conventionally masculine way.

This wouldn’t bother me at all OP. My 4 year old boy has asked for a mermaid dress for Christmas cos he saw His friend with one and he loved it. Also asked me to paint his nails because another friend had hers done, it’s all just experimenting and play, he’s also skewed for a baby doll for Christmas.

I have no issue with these things, I see no benefit in disallowing a huge selection of toys and play ideas based on gender stereotypes, and if I’m honest I think it could probably do a lot of good to encourage little boys to indulge their more traditionally feminine sides, I believe it makes for more rounded adults.

that said, his dad (my ex) would have absolutely none of it, and would actively discourage it and think it’s “wrong”…big part of why he’s an ex in my case.

There is nothing wrong with dressing up in anything fancy dress.