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Original poster

Crap friend

343 replies

PerkyOchrePeer · 07/07/2025 22:43

I went on holiday last year and met up with a friend of a friend. I didnt really know her but was grateful that she offered to show me around. We didnt have much in common but rubed along ok. I thought she was a bit full on with her behaviour and wondered if she was gay. After the holiday, we went our seperate ways and i sent her the odd fìendly wassap message to which she replied to but in a cold polite but not that friend manner. The last couple of messages she totally ignored so i have now deleted her from my phone and wont be messaging her again.

I was annoyed at first because i have made an effort to remain on friendlý terms

OP posts:
An89 · 09/07/2025 15:24

PerkyOchrePeer · 09/07/2025 06:19

Also whilst I was there I did some shopping and abort a couple of tops and when I showed her she said you would look good in those tops because you've got a lovely figure. 1 no I Hardly Knew the woman and that's not something you say to somebody you hardly know and I think thats a bit full on and i wad embarrasded thinking that she had been eyeing me up

So why do you want to be her friend? Gosh this is sounding more and more strange by the minute.

Elevenor · 09/07/2025 13:32

I think you are misunderstanding the interaction. There is a difference between a person being friendly and a person being your friend.

It sounds like she was friendly during your stay but she does not want to be your friend.

CatAsstrophe · 09/07/2025 13:19

AxolotlEars · 09/07/2025 09:04

Are you on the autistic spectrum?

FFS, someone is weird and immediately people jump to autism.

I'm autistic, diagnosed, and I don't fucking behave like the OP. Ever. My autistic female friends, colleagues and acquaintances don't act like the OP either.

Posts such as yours are so offensive!

Original poster
PerkyOchrePeer · 09/07/2025 13:05

SunflowersInRain · 09/07/2025 09:56

"to be honest even if I had been gay she wouldn't have been my type and she was just a bit masculine looking"

  1. You're rude as fuck.
  1. Maybe don't want to be your friend because you're not a very nice person.
  1. It's very obvious to me you fancied her, wanted her to fancy you and now feel hard done by that she doesn't even want a friendship with you.

I did NOT fancy her

OP posts:
My19thNervousNameChange · 09/07/2025 11:00

I remember this sorry tale from the last time you told it under a different name. The answers were broadly the same and if my memory serves you ended up getting a bit pissy with posters.
That this is still bothering you after so long is concerning. Do you think maybe a bit of counselling would help?

AnotherGreyMorning · 09/07/2025 10:14

SunflowersInRain · 09/07/2025 09:56

"to be honest even if I had been gay she wouldn't have been my type and she was just a bit masculine looking"

  1. You're rude as fuck.
  1. Maybe don't want to be your friend because you're not a very nice person.
  1. It's very obvious to me you fancied her, wanted her to fancy you and now feel hard done by that she doesn't even want a friendship with you.

This is what I thought too.

You're offended she doesn't want to pursue you.

Wheezygonzalez · 09/07/2025 10:05

I don’t understand OP your original post and subsequent ones comes across like you were merely tolerating her so why the sudden change of heart?

TealScroller · 09/07/2025 10:00

MNpenisadvisor · 07/07/2025 22:49

Cool story bro

Jesus, this is what I hate about mumsnet...why add a comment like that? Why be a douche?

SunflowersInRain · 09/07/2025 09:56

"to be honest even if I had been gay she wouldn't have been my type and she was just a bit masculine looking"

  1. You're rude as fuck.
  1. Maybe don't want to be your friend because you're not a very nice person.
  1. It's very obvious to me you fancied her, wanted her to fancy you and now feel hard done by that she doesn't even want a friendship with you.
SunflowersInRain · 09/07/2025 09:54

Lol.

Todaystoast · 09/07/2025 09:40

I think the difficulty is you think that people should not be kind and friendly to people they don't want a long-term friendship with because that is 'being false'. Many people think it's good to be kind and friendly to many people, even if you don't want a long term friendship with them. That's what this person did so we are seeing it as a positive thing and you are seeing it as a negative.

NoWomanNoBuy · 09/07/2025 09:29

OP sitting there obsessing over this with the strange attitude of, so I stopped replying because I'm not going to bother, TAKE THAT why don't you! Meanwhile other party is just sighing with relief that the messages have stopped.

DragonTrainor · 09/07/2025 09:28

I get you may be ND. I'm autistic and it took me some time to work out the difference between an acquaintance and a friend and that people can be friendly without wanting to be your friend BUT you don't seem to be understanding what anyone is saying to you and you are going round in circles.

She isn't your friend, she's someone you know
She wasn't false, she was just being friendly
Not sure why you keep saying you think she fancied you. Either way she's not interested now
you seem very hard work

CalicoPusscat · 09/07/2025 09:28

This thread is giving you the chance to obsess about it further @PerkyOchrePeer.

Why don't you go to your GP?

DragonTrainor · 09/07/2025 09:25

OP sorry but you are batshit

AnotherGreyMorning · 09/07/2025 09:25

Op, you sent a few WhatsApp messages. That's really very little effort.

Just delete her from your phone and move on. Forget about it.

I don't see where or why you should be annoyed.

PinkyFlamingo · 09/07/2025 09:15

PerkyOchrePeer · 08/07/2025 08:34

I cannot speak for her I can only speak for myself and I did try to maintain contact and she did answer a couple of messages but then stopped and the last few messages were not answered so sorry decided not to bother anymore.

Show quote history

Yes ok but that still doesn't explain why you are so bothered?

WhatNoRaisins · 09/07/2025 09:11

I think it would benefit you to seek some insight into these things if it's bothering you. Lots of people struggle with friendship and it helps to learn about how they work.

waterrat · 09/07/2025 09:08

I was also going to ask if you are autistic. Might be worth looking up female presenting autism op

waterrat · 09/07/2025 09:08

It's totally bizarre to care about this op. She literally lives the other side of the world and you didn't get on much at the time

I think you need to work on your social skills and be more realistic about what friendship is

Original poster
PerkyOchrePeer · 09/07/2025 09:06

No

OP posts:
AxolotlEars · 09/07/2025 09:04

Are you on the autistic spectrum?

Swiftie1878 · 09/07/2025 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WarmMJ · 09/07/2025 08:47

I’m so flummoxed by this thread that I looked at OP’s other threads, and they are very similar. You sound pretty vulnerable, @PerkyOchrePeer, and as if life must be difficult. Would you ever want help to manage things with less confusion and disappointment?

WhatNoRaisins · 09/07/2025 08:46

I also think in general that long distance friendships can endure over time but you need to build up a solid base first. You only spent a short amount of time together so this was unlikely to happen, that's why this is very unlikely to be an enduring distance friendship. How nice either of the parties are is irrelevant, sometimes circumstances work against you.