Crap friend

So you met up with an acquaintance because you happened to be in the same country . She kindly played tour guide while you judged her personality and sexuality. Once it was over you initiated conversation which at first she responded to then stopped?

Your not friends by your own admission you didn’t gel, she’s not bothered about pursuing a friendship.

So you didn’t really get along, but you kept messaging her and now are annoyed she is not responding. What is the problem? Do you want us to say maybe she fancied you but now she has realised you’re not interested she has backed away? Either way what’s the problem, she isn’t your friend and doesn’t want to be and the feeling seems to be mutual.

I cannot think at all why this woman doesn’t want to stay friends with you. Could it be that you’re hard work?

Move on
Its really not worth the headspace

So you expect everyone you meet to like you and become your friend?

OP, you’re not taking on board what people are saying to you, or answering the pertinent questions.

Personally, I think you sound nuts.

My take on it - this woman, who you didn’t know, who was just a friend of a friend, very kindly offered to show you around her town in Australia.

In spending time together, by your own admission, it became apparent that you had nothing in common and did not get on very well together.

To her credit, she stuck to her word and showed you around, although by now acting like a tour guide, which you didn’t like.

Upon return to the UK, despite the fact you didn’t really like her, you have tried to turn this into a friendship by keeping in touch.

She initially replied but has now stopped.

As others keep asking - why do you care?

Bluntly OP, I think this woman made a kind offer and then regretted it as she didn’t really like you. To her credit, she continued to show you around, “like a tour guide”.

I’d imagine she just wants to leave it there OP, just let it lie.

And calling her a “crap friend” - wtf?? She’s not a friend! She’s a friend of a friend and it sounds like she really went above and beyond, and you dont even appreciate it.

Okay cool. So you understand that things like friendships and relationships can be for a reason, and when that reason has passed, they no longer work.

There is a phrase "Friendships can last for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." Your friendship, such as it was, lasted for the "season" that you were in Australia. That season has passed now.

If you’re genuinely bored enough to start friendships and relationships to fill your time, why not get some hobbies?

I was in that situation once with a guy I just dated him because it was something to do to pass the time

I'm latching onto anybody because they are better than nothing

So you blatantly use people for company because you're bored and/or lonely. But you've got your knickers in a twist because someone who was kind and hospitable to you (as a friend of a friend) doesn't want a longterm friendship with you?

You do sound entitled and confused - she owes you nothing. You, however, went quiet when a poster asked you how you thanked her for showing you around. Zilch?

Nope, just cannot make any sense out of this at all.

You mean like the school holidays?

I'm having serious deja vu.

Agreed 💯, OP sounds complicated to say the least and the subsequent replies are all over map.

Also, I pay people compliments all the time, even if theres nothing blatantly appealing about them, I will find something to like about everyone. I don't fancy that elderly woman I was chatting to at the bus stop, I just liked her shopping trolley, because it was snazzy .

I live in a place that is popular to visit and have been in her place many times with friends of friends. I welcome them, let them stay and show them around because I like meeting new people and as a favour to our mutual friend. But I am being friendly, rather than being their friend. I think you have confused the two, OP. She has never been your friend, she was just being friendly and welcoming to a visitor.

When people have visited me, we often exchange a message or two afterwards, and then that’s it. That’s because we aren’t friends. When I visit where they come from, I would never stay with them because I would rather spend my time with friends. Occasionally I have met them again when they have joined us for dinner/drinks one evening.

She hasn’t done anything odd. You have misinterpreted this situation, OP.

But presumably they were close friends, then one of them moved to Australia, rather than vice versa?

You sent a few messages. So what?
Get over it. She’s not a crap friend because she’s not a friend. She’s a friend of a friend.

It just hasn’t worked out this time OP. Your personalities didn’t click.

It wasn’t really a waste of time because you got to experience a new place with a nice person.

She sounds like a perfectly nice person prepared to help you have the best holiday you could have as a favour to a friend.
In return you've called her a crap friend and been just weird about the poor woman. She wasn't your friend, she was a new acquaintance.

Good for them :) It doesn't look like she wants to do the same with you, and she's allowed to feel that way. It doesn't mean she's a crap friend, it just means that there's not enough of a spark of friendship between you two for her to want to keep in touch. That's okay, she's allowed her own free will.

Would it help to frame it a bit like trying to find a boyfriend?

Metaphorically, you met somebody through a mutual friend who you thought was nice enough, but you weren't really sure if there was a spark, and there were a few things they did that you weren't really into. You dated for a little while longer because there weren't any red flags, but it's fizzled out lately because neither of you particularly fancy each other and though you like the idea of having a boyfriend, you don't have romantic chemistry or any sexual tension with him.

Metaphorically, she's the guy in the above scenario not because she might be gay, but because she's figured out sooner than you that there's nothing to really base a relationship (friendship) on, going forwards.