Crap friend

So weird. These kinds of comments are such a normal thing to say, I've heard countless (straight) women give these kinds of compliments throughout my whole life. She wasn't eyeing you up FGS she was just being kind and complimentary.

I don't understand your feelings on this at all. You didn't really like her, you've experienced some kind of gay panic in response to her perfectly normal compliments, you hardly know her, she lives on the other side of the world and yet you've decided she's a bad friend and you're angry because she hasn't put effort into texting you. None of it makes sense!

OP, you seem to struggle with the territory that lies between bosom buddies and mortal enemies. There is a lot in between those extremes. Most people are polite and friendly as their default setting, and being hospitable but not close friends doesn't make them "false".

😳Gosh. I'm friendly as a general rule to everybody, just because it makes life that little more pleasant. You have to be extremely rude to me (or a very good friend lol) to extract Unfriendly ModeTM, although if you really push it you might get Extra Sarcastically Nice ModeTM. What a weird take to find somebody being friendly towards you as insincere.

Sounds like the ofeering of a "kind" person more than a "crappy" one, @PerkyOchrePeer

From an outsider's perspective, they put themselves out as a favour to your mutual friend. They were being gracious. They dont't owe you anything.

Maybe they have plenty of friendd snd feel that you had less in common. We dont know. They are entitled to decide who they maintain "friendship", connection and correspondence with, just like everyonr else.

It sounds like a bruise to the ego that they havent made great efforts to maintain/build a friendship with you. No matter. You hsve deleted them? Was it just a rant that you needed here?
x

Having read all your posts I'm beginning to think you actually fancied her sexually OP. It would help explain your odd obsession with this mere aqaintance .

You think she fancied you and are miffed that she has rebuffed your overtures.

Yes?

Charming!

This.

You sound very ungrateful. Are you always so rude?

Saying you look nice doesn't mean she was coming onto you

It doesn't sound like you were really friends anyway tbh so I don't get why you're so bothered really

She was being polite because you are friend of a friend, there was no connection for either of you, let it go, she doesn’t want to be your friend.

This is quite painful to read. @PerkyOchrePeer you need to relegate it to the past.

So you used her, and now you’re cross she doesn’t want to be friends with you? Do you struggle with relationships in general, OP?

When you were actually together, she was being very accommodating and friendly, but you didn’t like that and found her too friendly and over familiar. Fair enough. However, you can’t decide now ,(that you have the “safety” of distance) that you should become best buddies and have this great relationship across the continents. The time to build the friendship was when you were together, not miles away , over texts. That doesn’t make her crap.

How old are you op? Are you ND?

This is all very strange. From your posts you clearly didn’t like this person and yet you now want a friendship .Why?
If someone is cold and I have a jumper, I would offer it.
If I go shopping and they try something on and I think they look good I would tell them .
This is normal behaviour. Your behaviour is not

Good grief.
A bit full on? She was just paying you a compliment. She was being kind.
But having spent a few days with you and reflected on the time that she couldn’t get back, she probably very wisely decided that she wouldn’t be investing any more time in you.
Pretty much everybody is kind to you when they first meet you, that’s how the world works and then you figure out whether the person you’re talking to is somebody you want to spend more time with.
She’s just not into you.

I’m not surprised contact has vanished, you sound like hard work.

Hi OP. I'm sorry to be blunt but you seem to be dwelling on why this person didn't keep in touch. Maybe she did all this because she's a really good and reliable friend-to your mutual friend. She just wanted you to have a nice time as a favour to her. She wasn't looking for a new friend for herself & you've already admitted you had nothing in common.
You've deleted her number now so try to stop over thinking things. She sounds like a great guide & it was nice of her to help your friend out like that.

You need to let this go OP. Sometimes people don't click socially, when you add in long distance then what's the point in continuing such a relationship?

If the same pattern of behaviour keeps happening to you to then it might be worth exploring it.

It is a completely ordinary compliment to someone buying clothes. She wasn’t going to tell her friend’s friend that she looked like a sack of spuds.

Sigh. That was an entirely different person. It is not the case that anyone who shows you around is bound to offer you eternal friendship.

That person already knew and liked you, and had lots in common with you. This person you’re posting about was doing a favour for a mutual friend, didn’t have much in common with you, and isn’t interested in being friends. Also, you didn’t much like her, and appear to harbour totally unfounded suspicions she fancied you. I can’t say I’d want to be friends with someone who thought I had ulterior motives in showing them around.

What a bizarre thread!

OP, she's not a crap friend, she's just someone you met who showed you kindness by showing you around, you 'invested' a bit of time sending messages after (hardly a huge effort given the time it takes to send a text message or ten) and she hasn't replied.

The end.

There was no friendship to start with, so by that definition, she can't be a 'crap' friend because she wasn't a friend in the first place.

Heed the voting - 95% think YABU. It's time to move on, clear your head of this non-issue and get on with your life.