Stepson hit me & DH is in Australia

Harsh? He’s a thug who physically assaulted a woman in their own home because there wasn’t another man there to stop it.

Harsh, my arse.

Thanks everyone who’s replied, I honestly wasn’t sure if I was overreacting or being dramatic but I’m really not, am I.

I don’t need medical attention, it wasn’t that kind of slap, more shocking than painful. Just rattled me. He stormed out and hasn’t come back yet. He does have keys but he didn’t take them so I don’t think he’s planning to come back tonight.

I know a few of you said to phone the police and I get why but I just can’t bring myself to go that far. He’s still a kid really and I think there’s a lot going on with him mentally and emotionally. Not excusing it at all but I feel like if I go down that road it’ll just blow everything up for good.

DH would absolutely back me if I told him and he’ll be furious when he finds out but it’s 5am for him right now and I didn’t want to dump it on him in the middle of the night. I know some of you think I should wake him anyway but I just couldn’t. He’s under pressure with work over there and I thought maybe I could wait till morning and have a proper call.

Feel like a total failure tbh. DS mostly listens to DH. With me it’s like I’m invisible or the enemy. He constantly makes digs, says horrible misogynistic crap like I’m just trying to control him or I’m jealous of his freedom or some rubbish. Won’t take no from me but if DH says it, it’s gospel.

I don’t want him back here tonight. Still sat with the doors locked, don’t know what I’ll do if he shows up. Just wish I knew how it got to this.

OK, I’m stepping back, this is clearly a triggering topic for you and you have very strong feelings about it. Understandably, but it makes it hard to have a discussion.

As someone who grew up in a house surrounded by DV, perhaps if people grew a bit of a backbone and called people out for their shitty behaviour then they wouldn’t act like that. Maybe more people should use ‘spiteful’ words to describe spiteful behaviour. Unless you believe ‘having it rough’ makes it ok to physically attack a woman? I’ve had it rough. Do I get a free pass too? Stop with this minimising BS.

They just seemed quite spiteful words to use about a kid who’s clearly had it rough.

Like I said, what he did was terrible and in her shoes I would definitely be keeping the door locked until DH comes back. However it doesn’t help to dismiss him as a spoiled brat when clearly the issues are much deeper than that.

Harsh? He’s a thug who physically assaulted a woman in their own home because there wasn’t another man there to stop it.

Harsh, my arse.

Finally some sense!!

I wouldnt call the police either, its an over reaction and the implications aren't worth it.

I certainly wouldnt be allowing him back in the house until DH returned, have no contact with the boy and let your DH deal with him when he returns.

Personally, I would not call the police if this is the first time he has slapped you, because it will have massive ramifications for YOU and your marriage, not to try to protect the boy.

I would however make it clear that any further behaviour like this will result in a police report.

I am not saying that is definitively correct, just what I would do.

I would have instantaneously phoned my husband though, no hesitation at all.

This is harsh. “Little bully boy”, “indulged”, “overgrown brat”…

What he did was awful but the word that springs to mind considering the background OP gave us is “troubled”.

This. At 17 he’s likely stronger than the OP as well. Little bully boy. He’d have had a slap back off me and never step foot in my house again.
A call from his dad to tell him off? Diddums. He sounds like an utterly indulged (upset at 17 yo about his dad having to work away for a few weeks for example) overgrown brat and OP is gaslighting herself by not taking this more seriously. He’ll attack again - maybe not OP but definitely another woman.

I reported it as well. This thread really is bringing out the worst in some posters.

Oh what bollocks. He's 17, not a baby, I was living alone at 17, working and paying bills after growing up with an abusive father and a mother who hated me. It didn't give me an excuse to go around hitting women and being a misogynist. I'm so sick of the lack of accountability for males. 17 is plenty old enough to know you don't hit people.

OP I think you've made a massive mistake in not going to the police, you're teaching him he can hit women with minimal consequences. A stern talk from dad once he comes home, is a weak response to outrageous, criminal behaviour.

I've also reported it. Let's hope it's taken down.

Hardly fair. The SS hasnt been with them long, the trip will have been planned way before that, a month long trip to Aus doesnt get decided a week before. If he is contractually obliged to go what choice does he have? The OP said he tried to get out of it.

If anyone is deranged here its you. Reported

I don’t think his mum would take him back.

So pleased that she has the option of not providing a home for biological son, hope the OP's husband is not still paying her any support money, in fact she should be paying support of her son.

Except that she mentioned that he might get a key from his sibling.

Her DH needs to return now. If this isn't a family emergency, I don't know what is. I don't care how important his job is, even the PM would return home for something like this!

TBH the fact that the man thought it reasonable to go to the other side of the world or a month while his son was in crisis is probably a large part of the problem.