Stepson hit me & DH is in Australia

This is DV why on earth would you present such a leisurely timescale about the police being called?

OP may well be asked 'why have you left it until now, the incident happened yesterday'.

This is a family emergency. Your husband needs to be notified.

I get you feel calling the police will get your stepson in trouble. But, he's now crossed that line of violence. He's much more likely to hit you again and harder now that line has been crossed. Abuse escalates. You are at risk for more physical abuse, in fact, you're in danger. That's why you need the police.

This is exactly why you need to get the police involved NOW. He hates women and you will bear the brunt of this more and more now this has happened. This will get worse, not better.

OP, a term you might find helpful is 'Child on Parent Violence'.

Reporting to the police might open up support from social services.

Take care of yourself.

Absolutely.
5am is not the middle of the night.
Phone the police. You are doing nobody any favours by not phoning them. Your DH is away another 2 weeks if you don't take steps he could do it to you again or worse and how will you feel if he goes on to behave like that towards someone else.
He's old enough to know better.
He's got no respect for you and DH shouldn't have left you with him being like that cos it wont have just started when he jetted off to OZ..

How awful for you, OP. Please do something to make sure you are safe tonight. Call the police or a relative to come and stay at least.

This is incredibly serious.

I've known two neighbours (in different locations) who were killed by their son or step son.

Please get help. You aren't thinking straight because it's been such a shock - you need someone else with you.

Women know how dangerous this is. We read about it all the time, but we make excuses, we say they've had it tough, we feel "sorry for them". But it's not them who end up killed. It's women. Don't handle this or face him alone.

OP, I really wish you would call the police. You say you feel like a failure but don't worry about that right now. It's a Monday night, if he's at a friend's parent's house he might be about to be turfed out of there. Don't be alone if he comes back demanding to be let in. Please listen, it's not just a few of us saying call the police, it is quite a lot And some of us have been in your shoes too. It's the right thing to do, please call them.

Why should you live with this git? You generously offered to open your home to him and he has totally abused his chances.

I don’t think there’s much to be gained from calling the police right now, you’re not in immediate danger. If he comes back that’s a different matter and you absolutely should call them in order to prevent escalation. For now just keep the house locked and take some time to calm down and look after yourself, and talk to your husband when you are able to. I think some of the responses on here are way too heated. This situation needs a calm approach. Obv it’s unacceptable and you can’t be living in fear of this so DH will need to step up, you can always go to police tomorrow if you feel it’s appropriate.

He’s probably sitting in a MacDonalds.
Phone the police. Phone your husband.
5am, well 6 now, perfectly reasonable time to call.
And if your DH doesn’t tell you to call the police, it shows where his priorities lie.

Don’t keep quiet, don’t let it be a secret. Don’t put yourself at risk.

Is that a joke?

I think you should call the police, he has you scared of being in your own home if you notm9gor on well and this was our of character then I wouldn't suggest that but this is someone who is almost an adult and his behaviour to you is escalating. I don't think he should be allowed back into your house either. I think you need to change the locks tomorrow at the very least

He doesn't. Violent teens often do quite well in foster care actually.

Though at his age he'll prob be told to fuck off. Good.

Based on your timings, your DH is in Perth - happy to be corrected.

In Perth, 5 am is running late for a lot of people. Wake him up. Six in the morning is when half the city is at work. Ring him now.

Who would that be then, some unassuming foster carer or care worker who has to try to mange his violence? Why?

He needs to be managed by his parents, the dad needs to come home for a start.

I would urge you to reconsider both not calling your husband yet and not calling the police, lots of people have things going on in their lives but that isn’t an excuse for him, he will likely do it again to others or you

His mother shouldn't be pressurised to take him back either, no doubt he's burnt his bridges there too. The police or social services can sort that out, if he hasn't disappeared off into the night for a while, which he hopefully has.

@midwifemayhem why did he want to come and stay at your house? was he having problems with his mum or his next step dad? is his bio dad not in his life at all?? which country are you in OP because it is currently lunch time is oz?

Your dh has gone off across the world for FOUR WEEKS, leaving you to parent his son when he knows that son holds you in little regard and there are already issues? He has the luxury of being able to have agreed to this trip whilst you're holding the fort at home for him. The very least he can do is be woken up and be told what his son has done to you.
If the situation was reversed and you had gone abroad for work, leaving your child with your partner, I bet you'd be bending over backwards to help from 12,000 miles away (if indeed you had ever agreed to leave for that length of time).

If you're worried he'll show up that's why you call the police. Who cares what he's going through? Honestly OP, you're trying to protect him or protect your husband by not going through with it but your SS needs a wake up call. If you don't do anything next time it could get worse. It might be you it might be someone else.

Why should you be the one to deal with this alone and be awake scared all night? Please call the police and call someone nearby who can come over or collect you and take you to theirs. Forget keeping it private.

Also wake your DH up. He needs to know asap. Tell him to contact his son and tell him to stay away.

OP you second message was you weren't sure if you were over reacting. The consensus on here is definitely not. But what you are doing is under-reacting by not calling the police or your husband. Please rethink this and call both - preferably the police first .

Yeah he’s just a child which is exactly why you call the police. In a few months he’ll be a fully grown adult and he’ll have learned he can slap women round the face and get away with it if you don’t. You are doing him no favours by covering up his absue. You’re literally enabling it. And it isn’t the middle of the bloody night, it’s 5am. Wake him and call the police. He’s escalating and he gives no shots about your misplaced empathy. You’re obviously abused (more than just tonight) as your timid posts where you cow tow to this behaviour and stress about everyone else’s feelings but your own show. I’m not saying this to pile on - it just feels like you genuinely need a bit of tough love. Please call the police and set your boundaries in stone. You hit someone across the face you get arrested- that’s how it works.

Oh OP. Give yourself a shake. I know you’ve had a shock but ffs, this has been coming. Nevertheless, here we are while you’re:

Excusing his behaviour ✅
“He’s still a kid” klaxon ✅
Lots of emotional issues for him ✅
Blaming yourself ✅

Anything else? Maybe suspected neurodivergence or a quote about his brain not being developed until he’s 25?

You do nothing here (a chat with your husband counts as nothing) and you’re showing this little fucker that the next time you dare stand your ground, he can do what he wants. Remember he has waited until his dad is thousands of miles away to do this. He knows you’ll do nothing.

This is the type of scenario where you eventually end up with a knife in your chest while you sleep one night.

Good luck, honestly. You’ll need it.

Have him arrested, being adopted doesn’t give anyone the right to be abusive. It might just be the wake up call he needs. He sounds unstable and bc he was adopted he’ll use that as his excuse for his bad behavior. I wouldn’t let him back in. Throw him back to his mother.

I'd contact the hubby and leave a voice clip of your version of events and how unsure of next steps you are. How friendly are you with the SS's mother? Could you give her a heads up that her son won't be able to stay there until at least DH's return? (Ie another 2 weeks).

OP if you won’t call the police, and I understand why you don’t want to (even if I don’t agree with you), you must wake your DH up. You say he listens to DH. DH needs to call him and have a serious word and make sure he stays away till he gets back. I have a 17 year old - they’re not fully cooked, and I get your empathy for him, but you have to make sure you’re safe.