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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Scruffy jeans at new job - does it matter?

115 replies

ScruffyTrouserMindFlip · 07/07/2025 20:17

My OH has just started a new job (this was his 3rd day). It's for a night manager at Tesco on £37k. Today he was not customer facing - just doing paperwork etc and training. They said he should wear jeans.

The thing is, the jeans he wore were, imo, really scruffy. Also, I think that looking smart does matter, especially in a managerial role, and especially when you are new.

However, he says I don't know what I'm on about, because I have an office job and it's different. Also that no-one said anything to him about his appearance, and they would have done, if it were an issue.

It makes me feel like I'm mad, that to me it's so obvious that you don't go into work looking like that, but another person can be equally gobsmacked that anyone would think it mattered at sll! I would be more than happy to hear that I'm wrong. Just need some honest, unbiased views!

YABU - The jeans are fine / no-one will think twice.

YANBU - Employers do still care about this sort of thing

OP posts:
ayepecking · 10/07/2025 17:21

Of course it matters. Tell your husband to have some pride in himself. Scruffy bugger. How is he expected to command respect when he doesn't respect the job?

gerispringer · 10/07/2025 17:15

He could get a new pair from the store surely. These ones are very scruffy and Id wash them even before I used them to do the garden. No not suitable for work of any kind.

Muffinmam · 10/07/2025 17:08

How short is your husband?

Also, for £37k a year they are obviously not expecting much. They should pay their employees better. That amount of money for night shift should be criminal.

Picklechicken · 10/07/2025 17:02

Wexone · 10/07/2025 10:47

Crocs to work - Seriously ?

Show quote history

Yes. Red ones too. In an office.

landlordhell · 10/07/2025 16:58

Just get a new pair and tell him you’ll manage this for him. He doesn’t see it, you do so I’m sure he won’t mind.

Blondebrownorred · 10/07/2025 16:54

They're dirty! Definitely inappropriate for work.

landlordhell · 10/07/2025 16:53

pelargoniums · 10/07/2025 16:50

Jesus, imagine this the other way around: “My new job asked me to wear jeans for a training day – not customer-facing, just training and paperwork. With small kids, cost of living and having a precarious job history, I didn’t think it was worth investing in new jeans since I wouldn’t be wearing them for future shifts, so I just wore my usual pair. My partner has taken multiple photos including close-ups and posted them on a forum asking people to vote on the issue. AIBU or is that a bit controlling?” We’d all be using so many 🚩 it would cause an emoji shortage.

To be fair those jeans should be for gardeni g and diy only having seen all the photos.

pelargoniums · 10/07/2025 16:50

Jesus, imagine this the other way around: “My new job asked me to wear jeans for a training day – not customer-facing, just training and paperwork. With small kids, cost of living and having a precarious job history, I didn’t think it was worth investing in new jeans since I wouldn’t be wearing them for future shifts, so I just wore my usual pair. My partner has taken multiple photos including close-ups and posted them on a forum asking people to vote on the issue. AIBU or is that a bit controlling?” We’d all be using so many 🚩 it would cause an emoji shortage.

Britneyfan · 10/07/2025 16:40

They’re pretty scruffy! But I do think for a training session having specifically been told jeans are ok they’re fine, and nothing to worry about OP. As long as he dresses more smartly for customer-facing work and when actively managing other staff etc.

I’m a GP and have definitely seen dress codes relax an LOT over time. And although at my current workplace our dress code is very relaxed, there are certain things I personally would never wear to “work” including jeans (also casual T shirts, shorts, backless tops, short skirts, low cut tops, super clingy bodycon type stuff etc!). However we do sometimes have closed training sessions etc. and for those I would be fine wearing jeans etc. (personally wouldn’t wear such a scruffy pair but that’s personal choice lol). If there is an element of networking etc then I’d probably dress more smart-casual even for that but not for an in-house training session (as I’m not the boss just an employee, otherwise I might feel differently), or big national anonymous type training situation.

Denimrules · 10/07/2025 16:38

It's uni open day today. I've been involved with it for years. People are the most casual dressed I've ever seen them. It must be the heat, although - frankly - gym knicker style shorts and running bra crop are not really cool for traipsing round the campus. I wouldn't expect people to dress up, but I don't think beach or sunbathing wear is sensible.

Lins77 · 10/07/2025 16:36

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 08/07/2025 01:12

I raise you

https://www.mrporter.com/en-gb/mens/product/balenciaga/clothing/straight-jeans/super-destroyed-wide-leg-jeans

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WTF 😭

Owt · 10/07/2025 16:31

My ex husband tried to go to a job interview with baggy jeans with holes in them and a band t-shirt. I made him get changed, he got the job but he couldn’t see anything wrong with what he was wearing before. He was very strange

landlordhell · 10/07/2025 16:31

For me it’s a matter of personal pride and how I like to project myself. I would never wear anything g ripped, stained or well worn to work. I work in education and it surprises me how scruffy some teachers are.

landlordhell · 10/07/2025 16:29

Those jeans aren’t that bad but he does need a new pair for work

blunderdul · 10/07/2025 16:25

goingtotown · 10/07/2025 07:51

They are scruffy, put them in the recycling bin.

They are not OPs jeans to bin.

Viviennemary · 10/07/2025 16:24

I'm seen worse.

Morgenrot25 · 10/07/2025 16:22

GreatGatsby212 · 10/07/2025 10:13

Worn, yes. Designed that way - probably. Scruffy? Still a no from me.

You would all be horrified at all of the jeans worn in corporate offices these days if these are seen as scruffy!

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No, I wouldn't be horrified because I'm aware that lots of offices are less formal nowadays.

MrsPositivity1 · 10/07/2025 12:51

They aren’t great

Wexone · 10/07/2025 10:47

Picklechicken · 10/07/2025 08:05

I think things have changed a lot now. For what it’s worth I’m with you op, I’m quite old school and I wouldn’t dream of wearing those. I used to work in marketing / account manager type corporate roles and image was really important- this was in the early 2000s (I haven’t worked for some years now due to health issues). I used to wear smart suits, fancy shoes etc etc. Even for a casual day I’d make sure my jeans were new ish, smart and fitted well. Most of all things had to be spotlessly clean. That doesn’t seem to be such a thing anymore- the people and their clothes!

My dh works in an office, as an account manager type role and my god he looks such a casual mess 🙈 he literally wears jogging bottoms, crocs (I kid you not!) and t shirts. And he does not give a fuck. No one else he works with does either. I have to really restrain myself from saying anything because to me it’s just so not acceptable but it appears I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore!

Crocs to work - Seriously ?

Noshadelamp · 10/07/2025 10:21

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 08/07/2025 01:12

I raise you

https://www.mrporter.com/en-gb/mens/product/balenciaga/clothing/straight-jeans/super-destroyed-wide-leg-jeans

Show quote history

"I have so much money I don't care if I completely wreck my ridiculously overpriced designer jeans"

GreatGatsby212 · 10/07/2025 10:13

Morgenrot25 · 10/07/2025 07:59

Eh? They are a bit. Look at the knees.

Show quote history

Worn, yes. Designed that way - probably. Scruffy? Still a no from me.

You would all be horrified at all of the jeans worn in corporate offices these days if these are seen as scruffy!

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 10/07/2025 09:45

RaininSummer · 09/07/2025 22:53

How on earth, and why on earth, would people walk with jeans under their shoes? Sounds both impractical and utterly filthy..

Short legs

Stylistic choice.

It's not impractical nor "utterly filthy"

onehorserace · 10/07/2025 08:54

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 08/07/2025 01:09

Exactly

They aren't dirty or scruffy. They are worn because he walks on the backs. You wouldn't even see that because it would be under his shoes

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.

Dog Bulldog GIF
Picklechicken · 10/07/2025 08:05

I think things have changed a lot now. For what it’s worth I’m with you op, I’m quite old school and I wouldn’t dream of wearing those. I used to work in marketing / account manager type corporate roles and image was really important- this was in the early 2000s (I haven’t worked for some years now due to health issues). I used to wear smart suits, fancy shoes etc etc. Even for a casual day I’d make sure my jeans were new ish, smart and fitted well. Most of all things had to be spotlessly clean. That doesn’t seem to be such a thing anymore- the people and their clothes!

My dh works in an office, as an account manager type role and my god he looks such a casual mess 🙈 he literally wears jogging bottoms, crocs (I kid you not!) and t shirts. And he does not give a fuck. No one else he works with does either. I have to really restrain myself from saying anything because to me it’s just so not acceptable but it appears I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore!

Morgenrot25 · 10/07/2025 07:59

GreatGatsby212 · 07/07/2025 20:23

Those jeans are not scruffy!

Eh? They are a bit. Look at the knees.