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AIBU?

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Scruffy jeans at new job - does it matter?

115 replies

ScruffyTrouserMindFlip · 07/07/2025 20:17

My OH has just started a new job (this was his 3rd day). It's for a night manager at Tesco on £37k. Today he was not customer facing - just doing paperwork etc and training. They said he should wear jeans.

The thing is, the jeans he wore were, imo, really scruffy. Also, I think that looking smart does matter, especially in a managerial role, and especially when you are new.

However, he says I don't know what I'm on about, because I have an office job and it's different. Also that no-one said anything to him about his appearance, and they would have done, if it were an issue.

It makes me feel like I'm mad, that to me it's so obvious that you don't go into work looking like that, but another person can be equally gobsmacked that anyone would think it mattered at sll! I would be more than happy to hear that I'm wrong. Just need some honest, unbiased views!

YABU - The jeans are fine / no-one will think twice.

YANBU - Employers do still care about this sort of thing

OP posts:
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NotrialNodeal · 13/07/2025 22:28

They said he could wear jeans. He did. Yabu.

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 13/07/2025 22:26

Being as that photo was no doubt taken AFTER he'd worn them for work... its likely they weren't even that worn before

LillyPJ · 12/07/2025 06:57

I'm definitely scruffy but even I wouldn't wear those jeans to work unless I was in a warehouse or on a building site. However, times and standards change. Who knows what's acceptable where nowadays?

Brendahollowayreconsider · 12/07/2025 06:46

Clean would be a start or he could buy new jeans.

kissmyfatass · 12/07/2025 05:01

They aren’t scruffy. The bottoms are just dirty. Give them a wash. He was told jeans and those are jeans. Stop stressing. If you had said he was telling you what to wear to work people would be going nuts.

notnorman · 11/07/2025 22:17

blunderdul · 11/07/2025 09:30

He is an adult. You don’t get to bin other people’s clothes because you don’t approve of them.

You do if they can’t make the decision that they’re dirty and unsuitable and he’s at risk of losing another job because he’s oblivious to such things.

or easier still, bin him

JMSA · 11/07/2025 21:22

YANBU. Whether anyone else notices or cares is not the only point. It’s a matter of personal pride.

landlordhell · 11/07/2025 21:20

Gross

Scruffy jeans at new job - does it matter?
landlordhell · 11/07/2025 21:18

Worn down? They were brown!

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 11/07/2025 20:35

landlordhell · 11/07/2025 18:59

Did you see the second photo? The bottom of the legs were caked in something or other. Jeans means casual. But you should always be clean

They just looked like worn down bottoms

They weren't dirty

If OP didn't zoom in on a stain, you wouldn't even see it.

steff13 · 11/07/2025 19:14

Brendathebear · 07/07/2025 20:24

I do agree, those jeans are scruffy and probably not the best for work.

Is it a funny angle? They look really short

I thought so, too. My first thought was "wow, he has really short legs."

SparklyBrickViper · 11/07/2025 19:09

Scruffy perhaps not such an issue in the circumstances, but dirty is another thing in my opinion.

landlordhell · 11/07/2025 18:59

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 11/07/2025 18:53

A training at work where you were told to wear jeans.

These are fine

Like I say, they look like they could even have been brought like that

Did you see the second photo? The bottom of the legs were caked in something or other. Jeans means casual. But you should always be clean

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 11/07/2025 18:53

landlordhell · 11/07/2025 16:03

But for the right setting.

A training at work where you were told to wear jeans.

These are fine

Like I say, they look like they could even have been brought like that

landlordhell · 11/07/2025 16:03

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 11/07/2025 10:54

And here in lies the issue: to many of us they look like a perfectly normal, if slightly worn, pair of jeans which may even have been "pre distressed" because of the pattern and brought that way

To many others they look tatty, scruffy and only fit to be worn in private. Or binned

I hate the binned people most. Those jeans have tonnes of wear left in them, before even being consigned to "outdoor work wear". Binning them is an awful waste.

But for the right setting.

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 11/07/2025 10:54

And here in lies the issue: to many of us they look like a perfectly normal, if slightly worn, pair of jeans which may even have been "pre distressed" because of the pattern and brought that way

To many others they look tatty, scruffy and only fit to be worn in private. Or binned

I hate the binned people most. Those jeans have tonnes of wear left in them, before even being consigned to "outdoor work wear". Binning them is an awful waste.

CrotchetyQuaver · 11/07/2025 10:36

I think those jeans would be ok after a good wash, they just look dirty to me

Lins77 · 11/07/2025 09:33

blunderdul · 11/07/2025 09:30

He is an adult. You don’t get to bin other people’s clothes because you don’t approve of them.

I've quietly disposed of a few particularly egregious (and old) items owned by my DH 😄 he's never noticed, and is anyway unable to tell the difference between nice clothes and horrible old rags.

blunderdul · 11/07/2025 09:30

notnorman · 10/07/2025 22:10

those Need binning by you.
He will dig his heels in if you suggest he bins them - then it will be a massive issue.
(he sounds like an ex of mine).
once they’re gone they’re gone.

He is an adult. You don’t get to bin other people’s clothes because you don’t approve of them.

notnorman · 10/07/2025 22:10

those Need binning by you.
He will dig his heels in if you suggest he bins them - then it will be a massive issue.
(he sounds like an ex of mine).
once they’re gone they’re gone.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 10/07/2025 19:33

He'll get a uniform soon enough. I work nightshifts in a supermarket (not Tesco), our uniform is different to the dayshift as there's a lot of being on your knees(!), breaking down the cages it's not unusual to get hit by an exploding yoghurt etc. I come out of work looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

New starters are told not to wear anything nice, jeans are fine and comfortable trainers are highly recommended.

Our nightshift managers dress the same as us as they're on the floor or dealing with deliveries etc all night too.

cyvguhb · 10/07/2025 19:28

iamnotalemon · 10/07/2025 19:23

I actually don’t think they’re bad at all

Really, the appear to be covered in dirt, I'd be embarrassed if my partner went to a job dressed like that

iamnotalemon · 10/07/2025 19:23

I actually don’t think they’re bad at all

NagathaCrispy · 10/07/2025 18:27

Those jeans are awful - scruffy and dirty. Not a good look for anyone in any work situation and definitely not to be worn anywhere except for cleaning the car or gardening.

xanthomelana · 10/07/2025 18:21

I work at Tesco myself and since we’ve had the new uniforms the dress code has been relaxed a bit, normal staff wear jeans now along with the Tesco polo shirt. Night shift are usually more relaxed because there’s no customers, I love covering a night shift duty manager when they are on annual leave because it’s a totally different experience. I have ADHD and it’s never held me back in the workplace, as long as he doesn’t let the staff take the piss (believe me they will because he’s new) and remembers he’s in charge and accountable for the standards in store he’ll be okay.