I’m feeling horrific. I did something awful tonight. DS, 2.5 was kicking his legs all over the place when trying to do his nappy and laughing when it hit me in the face. I kept asking him to stop and then he carried on and his foot whacked my nose. I got really cross and shouted stop it, I hate you.
I know there’s no excuse for this but for context this is not a usual thing and I had had a shit day and this just made me feel so frustrated in the moment. He sort of looked at me and said stop shouting and I then carried on with nappy and I apologised afterwards and said I shouldn’t have shouted. I don’t know how much he understood that I was sorry though.
we had a usual bedtime after that but I feel sick about it.
I am so worried he’s now internalised this and will grow up with emotional issues. I was emotionally damaged as a child and I feel horrendous that I have now done this to my ds. I can’t eat I feel so sick about it.
not asking for sympathy as I know I’m in the wrong but is there anything I can do to try and stop this being internalised or is the damage done? I hate myself for having lost my temper like that.