Page 3 | To think finding the time to lose weight is IMPOSSIBLE?!

Fat40Unhappy · 2025-07-07T17:38:36+00:00

Probably get roasted as I’ve posted here for traffic. I’m about 3.5 stone overweight currently. I’ve had a shit 3 and a half years. Had a baby, had PND, was doing a stressful degree which included placement, my sibling was diagnosed terminally ill and died last March, my relationship broke down and I’m now working full time in a stressful job with a toddler and I’m a single parent. My working hours are changing soon to 8:45am to 6pm and I will have one non-working day per week. I also have a serious mental health condition which requires medication which is very sedating, causes weight gain and makes it difficult to lose. This conditions impacts my sleep so I need to prioritise this to avoid getting ill. I’m most likely peri-menopausal as well. Normal day is get up about 7, get myself and toddler dressed, drop to nursery and head to work. I have a 20/30 minute drive depending on traffic. My mum picks toddler up every day after nursery so has them for 2 hours before I get home. Get home say 6.30 with new hours and then have to feed toddler and myself, bathe toddler and do bed time. They go down about between 7.30-8.30pm. They still wake up 2/3 times per night and I end up in their bed beside them most nights. Broken sleep all week which kills me. I feel so depressed, I look at myself and feel disgusted. But I don’t know how to organise my life to incorporate exercise and losing this significant amount of weight. I need some motivation and ideas. TIA

Alltheyellowbirds · 07/07/2025 22:45

Fat40Unhappy · 07/07/2025 22:34

It’s hard to keep up with who is asking which questions.

Toddler is in a double bed. I went straight to that after cot bed as I thought it would be easier when I end up in there through the night, instead of sitting on the floor. It’s helped slightly but one of my biggest issues with my illness is poor sleep so although broken sleep and sleep deprivation is crap for everyone, for me it means I end up really unwell.

I was looking back at pictures in my phone and seen some screenshots of when they were a baby. There were some nights I was getting less than an hours sleep and that was with my sedative medication. Most nights now I’m sleeping before 11pm/midnight and alarm is at 7, I never get the full 7/8 hours. I have a Fitbit and I’m always awake for at least 1.5 hours during the night.

Someone asked if my mum was able to feed and bathe toddler before I come in. My mum works full time as well but has her own business so that’s why she’s able to pick up after nursery. She doesn’t finish till about 5/5.30 so isn’t in till 6 anyway.

Someone else asked about network, I had a village but it’s no longer since my sibling died. As often happens with grief, there has been lots of fallings out. I only really have my mum now.

A poster asked about working 6 days, that’s the way I’ve written that. I’ll be working 4 long days. Apologies for the confusion.

Dad takes toddler occasionally but not consistently so weekends are spent taking toddler to activities and catching up on housework and life admin. My washing pile is my nemesis. Even when dad has them I do all the driving as he doesn’t have a car and it’s an hour round trip. He only takes them for 1 night as well.

Just on the Fitbit - that awake time is pretty normal. Click the Benchmark to see how your sleep stages compare to average. Fitbit shows restlessness as “awake”, so it’s not always actual awakeness as we would think about it. It can sometimes even just be movement. Anyway, just in case that’s reassuring! If you’re sleeping from 11pm to 7am I think that’s fine.

Original poster

Fat40Unhappy · 07/07/2025 22:43

I’m allergic to nuts and eggs so if anyone has any substitutes that have the same protein/satiety properties that would be great. I think that’s one of my biggest barriers (of the mind) when I try to look for meal plans. They all seem to incorporate eggs and nuts/seeds into meals and I can’t have them. I’m definitely not equipped with the knowledge of what to eat to lose weight bar “don’t eat shite”.

To the poster who said they bought a Peloton. I’ve considered a treadmill or walking pad. I got into walking a few years ago and I thought I started to see a difference in my body. Maybe not on the scales but I didn’t feel as bloated and thought I looked slightly better. Then I got pregnant and was so ill I could barely stand and with all the trauma just never got back into it.

It’s been helpful to use this as a sounding board. I don’t know if maybe I’m online too much and see all the influencers who exercise hard everyday. Maybe only 20/30 is needed which I could probably find if I got organised. I’m probably also still in the mindset of I could eat what I wanted without thinking about it and never gain weight so I’ve never had to be disciplined, exercise or meal
plan. My brain needs to remember I’m in my 40’s with the metabolism to match.

OP posts:

HEC2746 · 07/07/2025 22:37

You’ve had some really great advice on here. It must be really hard with the medication as well.

Look at small changes to snacking and things like that, focus on changes people suggest that don’t really take time - high fibre crackers and a carrot as a snack instead of a biscuit etc.

I’ve personally found intermittent fasting (so eating 11-7ish) has worked well because it doesn’t take any time or extra effort to make special food, and so it’s cut out a lot of food “noise”’ that comes to me with calorie counting or focusing on diet food. My diet could still be improved but the weight has come off.

Original poster

Fat40Unhappy · 07/07/2025 22:34

It’s hard to keep up with who is asking which questions.

Toddler is in a double bed. I went straight to that after cot bed as I thought it would be easier when I end up in there through the night, instead of sitting on the floor. It’s helped slightly but one of my biggest issues with my illness is poor sleep so although broken sleep and sleep deprivation is crap for everyone, for me it means I end up really unwell.

I was looking back at pictures in my phone and seen some screenshots of when they were a baby. There were some nights I was getting less than an hours sleep and that was with my sedative medication. Most nights now I’m sleeping before 11pm/midnight and alarm is at 7, I never get the full 7/8 hours. I have a Fitbit and I’m always awake for at least 1.5 hours during the night.

Someone asked if my mum was able to feed and bathe toddler before I come in. My mum works full time as well but has her own business so that’s why she’s able to pick up after nursery. She doesn’t finish till about 5/5.30 so isn’t in till 6 anyway.

Someone else asked about network, I had a village but it’s no longer since my sibling died. As often happens with grief, there has been lots of fallings out. I only really have my mum now.

A poster asked about working 6 days, that’s the way I’ve written that. I’ll be working 4 long days. Apologies for the confusion.

Dad takes toddler occasionally but not consistently so weekends are spent taking toddler to activities and catching up on housework and life admin. My washing pile is my nemesis. Even when dad has them I do all the driving as he doesn’t have a car and it’s an hour round trip. He only takes them for 1 night as well.

OP posts:

InfoSecInTheCity · 07/07/2025 22:32

Did they try the slow release metformin @Fat40Unhappy? The default is that they go for the standard 500mg, and get you to take up to 4 x a day dependent on what it is for and how much you need. But if it causes gastric issues they can prescribe the slow release that you just take once a day.

whatonearthishappenin · 07/07/2025 22:29

You’re doing an amazing job holding everything together for your children so don’t forget that.

I know lots of people are saying exercise isn’t necessary but I disagree… when I exercise it gives me energy, improves my mental health and I eat better (don’t want to waste the calories I’ve just spent time trying to burn).

I am also a single parent working long hours but I took the plunge and bought a peloton. I just do 30 minute sessions as and when I can. i.e. jump on the bike as soon as my children fall asleep, while my dinner is cooking or while they (briefly) manage to occupy themselves.

Best of luck and don’t forget to take a step back and remember you are doing an incredible job x

KPPlumbing · 07/07/2025 22:29

KPPlumbing · 07/07/2025 22:27

You don't need to do a shred of exercise to lose weight. It's all down to diet. And I say that as an exercise obsessive who practically lives at the gym!

Eating well doesn't need to take time.

Cottage cheese or Greek yoghurt with berries and honey for breakfast.

An omelette for lunch if at home, or a tuna and egg salad if out at work (hard boil a week's worth of eggs in one go).

Dinner can be a chilli that you've made enough of to do 5 or 6 portions. Or a tray of roast veg - then add chicken or salmon, bulgur wheat and chicken stock and bake until cooked.

I'll also add, I'm on mirtazipine, also known for weight gain. But I've lost a stone through being incredibly disciplined.

KPPlumbing · 07/07/2025 22:27

You don't need to do a shred of exercise to lose weight. It's all down to diet. And I say that as an exercise obsessive who practically lives at the gym!

Eating well doesn't need to take time.

Cottage cheese or Greek yoghurt with berries and honey for breakfast.

An omelette for lunch if at home, or a tuna and egg salad if out at work (hard boil a week's worth of eggs in one go).

Dinner can be a chilli that you've made enough of to do 5 or 6 portions. Or a tray of roast veg - then add chicken or salmon, bulgur wheat and chicken stock and bake until cooked.

wheresmymojo · 07/07/2025 22:23

I’ve recently lost 4.5 stone just through changes to what I eat - a big part of that was intermittent fasting which means that I no longer eat dinner.

My body got used to it incredibly quickly - within a week I no longer felt hungry at dinner time and the amount of time (and money!) I save by not having to shop for as many groceries, meal plan, prepare, cook and eat dinner and then clean up after is amazing!

Original poster

Fat40Unhappy · 07/07/2025 22:18

AngeloMysterioso · 07/07/2025 21:44

Also is your medication mirtazapine? If so I would request an alternative from your GP… I was on that for a while quite some time ago, I put on two stone without even trying and it took aaaaaaaaages to shift even after I came off it, and it didn’t help with my mental state one tiny bit.

It’s Quetiapine. It’s one of the worst for weight gain. I’ve read it changes the way your body processes fats and sugars so even if you eat well, you’re still at risk of weight gain.

I’ve been on it for a long time after trialling many different meds that didn’t help. This is the only one that’s helped me stay stable. Since being on it I’ve managed to do many things that wouldn’t have been possible before but the downside is the side effects. It makes you very groggy as well due to its sedative purposes which in turn affects energy levels.

I know if I come off it, the weight will come off more easily. I’ve done it before and lost nearly a stone without trying in the space of 3 weeks but it caused a manic episode and I had to go back on it and put the weight back on almost instantly.

In all the years of being on it, my psychiatrist has never discussed ways to counteract the weight gain. No nutritional guidance or the like. They did give me Metformin but all it did was keep me on the toilet pan all day. Can’t do that now with a job and a child.

I think that’s why I feel so hopeless and it was probably silly to even post here asking for answers.

I have seen people in groups posting that Intermittent Fasting and Keto has helped them so maybe that’s an idea as I’ve not attempted this before.

OP posts:

EagleOnTheWall · 07/07/2025 22:10

Be a bit kinder to yourself. I think you should prioritise sleep first. Find a way to get as much sleep as possible, even if it's a bit unorthodox.

Is the toddler in a cot still? Can you sleep in the same room? What size bed do they have?

Don't snack until you've had 1litre of water to drink.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 07/07/2025 21:54

I find the best way to lose weight is dirty fasting so fasting but with the odd milky drink or up to 100 cal snack 3/4 a day. I really like cups of miso broth. Then one meal a day in the evening. Lots of protien/ grains and veg.

Barnbrack · 07/07/2025 21:53

Switch to sugar free fizzy drinks first of all.

I do slimming world which I know many hate but works great for me. I had lost 2 stone for my wedding after gaining through losing my mum and a string of miscarriages then gained in pregnancies and breastfeeding and now lost 2 stone again.

Typical working day, breakfast skyr and banana
Lunch wholemeal sandwich today was humous and roast veg leftover from Sunday dinner (tomatoes and broccoli)

Dinner was pork stir fry with veg and steamed rice.

Protein, carb, veg each meal, bread only once a day is the main way I think of it and works a treat

BashfulClam · 07/07/2025 21:51

I lost 4 stone just by putting myself in a calorie deficit. It took me 6 months. I ate normal food but less crap. Only exercise I did was walking.

Zanatdy · 07/07/2025 21:48

You need less calories, that doesn’t have to involve a lot of cooking or planning.

Theolittle · 07/07/2025 21:47

I batch cook a really cheap, easy, healthy, filling lentil Dahl - chuck 300g dry red lentils, 2 tins toms and use for cans of water, 3 tableslolns garlic and ginger paste, 2 or 3 stock cubes, tablespoon of garam masala. . Simmer for an hour. Makes 4 decent portions, can add veggies like frozen spinach at the end. Also hard boiled egg or two for extra protein. 300 cals if you make 4 portions, 250 for 5 portions (plus egg calories). I love it.

AngeloMysterioso · 07/07/2025 21:44

Also is your medication mirtazapine? If so I would request an alternative from your GP… I was on that for a while quite some time ago, I put on two stone without even trying and it took aaaaaaaaages to shift even after I came off it, and it didn’t help with my mental state one tiny bit.

PreetyinPurple · 07/07/2025 21:44

You do long hours! I would recommend if you can adding some exercise in, maybe something with weights at home even.
Im fat just now but when I lost weight before just toning up your body when you have big boobs can help. It just helps improving the muscle tone across your chest and holding them up!
I can see now you are on your own so even harder. Maybe twice a week for 15/20 minutes after they’ve gone to bed. Does dad take them at all.
I also agree you need to meal plan, including snacks, so you don’t get caught out,

AngeloMysterioso · 07/07/2025 21:40

You don’t need time lovely, just a few small lifestyle adjustments. Find out what your BMR is and then eat healthy meals with a calorie deficit- I’ve actually found chat GPT really useful for this, you can put in all the food you have available to use and it suggests meals and recipes with their calorie value, and you can use it to track your daily intake. I’ve also been trying to do 10k steps per day and a short (10-15 min) YouTube workout during my lunch break. Lost over 4kgs in just under 4 weeks and reduced my BMI by 1.6… and I was only just under 60kgs to begin with. Good luck!

PeonyPatch · 07/07/2025 21:34

Sounds like you’ve had a traumatic and stressful few years. It must be stressful being a single parent as well. Do you have a support network around you?

Weight loss is also about regulating blood sugar and cortisol. Make sure you eat a clean, whole food diet (meal prep) I recommend Jessica Shand’s hormone book and follow her on instagram. Make sure you walk during your lunch break and get a decent nights sleep.

You can do this, I believe in you.

Eaglemom · 07/07/2025 21:30

Zov · 07/07/2025 20:13

4 posts in, and someone suggests weight loss injections. 🙄

Don't start these @Fat40Unhappy FGS. I lost 2 stone several years ago (and kept it off) with the 5:2 diet. Very effective and the easiest diet I have found to stick to.

Edited

Why not? They're working for thousands of people, what is the issue?

InfoSecInTheCity · 07/07/2025 21:26

Glad it was helpful @Fat40Unhappy tray bakes are also great for this. Get a roasting pan, put in some low cal sausages (they taste better when cooked with stuff than they do when served as a standalone item) or veggie sausages re often lower calorie, or you can good chicken thighs or pork steak. Then add whole cherry tomatoes, chunky red onion, peppers, broccoli, babycorn (basically anything you like that can stand about 30-40 minutes in the oven, limited potatoes though if you want to keep carbs low). Drizzle of olive oil and whatever herbs or spices you enjoy. Bung it 8n the oven at gas mark 6 for 30-40 minutes, give it a shake every now and then and it’s done when it’s the right shade of brown and crispy for your tastes. Takes about 5 minutes to get everything in the tray then it just sorts itself out in the oven while you do something else, at the end you have a full plate of food with no sides needed and it’s full of veg.

ChaToilLeam · 07/07/2025 21:23

You’re already doing brilliantly, OP. The best thing you can do is just find ways that make eating good unprocessed food as easy as possible - bagged salads, ready prepared veg, batch cooking are all your friend. You don’t need to spend hours that you don’t have anyway exercising - you work and have a child so are probably getting in plenty of movement during the day. Prioritise rest and good nutrition, your body needs it for the busy and stressful life you have. Sending you good wishes ❤️

Twatalert · 07/07/2025 21:19

Fat40Unhappy · 07/07/2025 21:16

Yes, but I find most people don’t understand this at all. Even when I explain it thoroughly to loved ones…for example ex partner. He still didn’t get that the medication puts on weight even if you’re not trying and it’s really hard to lose once you’re on it. He used to just tell me to stop moaning and do somethunf about it.

It’s a toss up most times between being fat and stable or thin and unwell.

My medication is used off label to treat eating disorders to help people gain weight. It’s second on the list of antipsychotics that cause the most weight gain.

I’ve been lucky and haven’t piled on the weight like some other people that take it. I’m in groups where people have gained 5/6 stone in the space of a few months. Some have went from size 8 to size 22 in a few years. Mines has steadily went on, not helped by baby and a shit few years. That’s why I’m thinking exercise rather than food is my issue.

Thank you for understanding.

Show quote history

No. You need to exercise ages to lose 500 calories. It's calories in Vs calories out. Probably your metabolism is a bit slow, but the same principle applies. It's impossible to lose a substantial amount of weight via exercise.

By skipping breakfast you can save 400-500 calories A DAY.

MagpiePi · 07/07/2025 21:17

You are having a stressful life and I understand that losing weight is yet another thing that you feel you have to make head space for. It is hard!

Lots of good advice about diets and food, but I was going to say, would it be possible to move your toddler’s bed next to yours, or yours next to theirs? At least then you are not having to get right up out of bed to soothe them, and they may be more comforted and not wake so much if you are there next to them. You won’t create a monster that will forever want to sleep next to you, but it could make things just a bit easier for now.