I started working in a prison 4 years ago. I entered the service full of hope that I will be changing lives and helping those who struggled in life and had shitty childhoods. I deliver programs to reduce reoffending and invest so much in my learners and constantly advocate for them and for their needs. I can’t go into details of the lengths I went to ensure that they’re supported both whilst in prison and after release so I don’t get identified.
But today I felt low. Really low. All the referrals for the program were men that completed it in the past. Some have done it over and over and have shown us a complete change of character when they were with us. They became peer mentors and drafted some inspiring stories for others. Just to be released and return on a new offense on remand or breach within a couple weeks/ months. Is what I’m doing worth it or is my role and that of my fellow passionate colleagues are just a waste of public money?
Officers smirk at us as we’re seen as unjustifiably positive and keep on insisting that all these men need is someone to show them some tlc and stand by their side after release. Today I realised I was so naive and deserve the ridicule that I get on the wings from some officers.
My last program graduate is only 26 and has been to prison 19 times. He was a ray of sunshine throughout the program and shown some unmatched dedication. Previous offences were all around robbery, theft, drugs …etc. He returned this morning on remand for rape. I’m so sad.