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Original poster

'Use your words' GET TO FUCK

195 replies

partyetiquette · 07/07/2025 16:51

Directed at the twats on here who patronisingly say it to posters
"Why did you not use your words"
"Use your words"
Use my foot up your arse you patronising twat

OP posts:
TorroFerney · 08/07/2025 07:34

Middlechild3 · 07/07/2025 18:50

I actually don't understand what "get to fuck" means, I understand "fuck off" but not the former. Is it Northern?

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Not my bit of northern - Lancashire. Well at least I have never heard anyone say it in real life.

JustMarriedBecca · 08/07/2025 07:24

HappiestSleeping · 07/07/2025 17:00

I always found it odd too. It's another modernism like "you do you" which in my head basically means "I think I am correct, and you are not, but crack on".

Yeah. I use "you do you" as code for "I know I'm right and you'll find out soon enough but if you don't want to listen I'm not wasting my energy trying to convince you"

Use it all the time. It's my favourite.

iloveeverykindofcat · 08/07/2025 07:22

Its a phrase for small children, but some adults haven't emotionally matured much past that stage. Having grown up with a mother who takes great and dramatic offense when people fail to read her mind and simultaneously believes she can read ill-intent/lack of attention/etc in other people's minds, I admit I have been tempted to say it at times. I don't because the fallout would be cataclysmic. I'm seeing her today and I'm feeling very jaded with it at the moment. Hey ho.

OntheBorder1 · 08/07/2025 06:58

I agree, it's a nonsensical thing to say. However, when some posters are too juvenile to actually behave like an adult and ask/say something I guess some who respond are exasperated and resort to treating them like a child.

RaraRachael · 08/07/2025 06:36

Use your words is such a patronising expression. It sounds like something you'd say to a toddler.

I have never seen or heard it anywhere other than MN.

It ranks alongside "I was today years old: as most irritating and stupid phrases I've heard.

Blurrywateryeye · 08/07/2025 06:07

partyetiquette · 07/07/2025 23:04

I fucking love it

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You’re coming off as low class with some kind of attitude problem. Not a good look op.

JockTamsonsBairns · 07/07/2025 23:24

Posters who end with "It's not difficult".

So fucking condescending.

PollyBell · 07/07/2025 23:08

partyetiquette · 07/07/2025 23:00

They are going to say "explain more" or "please speak up" instead of a babyfied load of wank designed to make the advice giver feel superior

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It could also mean someome may be projecting some issues going on?

Original poster
partyetiquette · 07/07/2025 23:06

Fargo79 · 07/07/2025 19:27

It's sarcasm. People use it to make the point that the OP is behaving like a small child. Calling them out for "infantilising" people is pointless because that's the intention.

Yes I get it. It just makes the sarky one look like a twat cos they think they are being so clever

OP posts:
Original poster
partyetiquette · 07/07/2025 23:04

Blurrywateryeye · 07/07/2025 19:15

Swearing is just vulgar

I fucking love it

OP posts:
Original poster
partyetiquette · 07/07/2025 23:00

PollyBell · 07/07/2025 21:54

Well if it is response to attention seeking drip feeding where they dont actually say the problem or ask a question what else are people going to say to work out what is going on?

They are going to say "explain more" or "please speak up" instead of a babyfied load of wank designed to make the advice giver feel superior

OP posts:
PollyBell · 07/07/2025 21:54

Well if it is response to attention seeking drip feeding where they dont actually say the problem or ask a question what else are people going to say to work out what is going on?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 07/07/2025 21:05

HappiestSleeping · 07/07/2025 17:00

I always found it odd too. It's another modernism like "you do you" which in my head basically means "I think I am correct, and you are not, but crack on".

Ohhhhh I feel the same about ‘Each to their own’ which is trotted out on here with tedious regularity.

outerspacepotato · 07/07/2025 21:03

It's far less annoying than expecting people to read minds. I like clear communication and given that I have yet to read a mind, but I am picking up some vibes....

How's spit it out then?

Ask and ye may or may not receive?

Who made you the Communication Czar?

I just swirled my fingers, snapped them shut, then brought my open hand up to my mouth sideways. What did I say?

InjuryMyArse · 07/07/2025 21:03

Zov · 07/07/2025 20:18

'Big girl words.' VOM.

Also, 'time to put your big girl pants on.'

Does anyone say this in real life? Confused

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Beth Upton iirc

Kimwestonhelpless · 07/07/2025 21:02

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/07/2025 17:38

I prefer the Scottish version, OP - ‘Get tae fuck!’ Has a slightly spicier ring to it, I feel.

There's no mistaking what that means and when it's uttered its delivered with venom.
I'm from Scotland.👍😁

BunnyLake · 07/07/2025 21:01

TheAutumnCrow · 07/07/2025 19:51

I think a some posters learned the hard way when they were growing up that ‘speaking up’ meant getting a slap, whether it be from a parent, sibling, teacher or other adult (yes really, we’re not all Gen Xers from England).

Anyway the OP made me smile. So there’s that. I agree about the language being patronising and unhelpful.

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I’m of that generation and I did find it hard to speak up when younger because it was deemed ‘insolent’ to have your voice. Thankfully I did learn to speak up for myself but it took me till about thirty to do so. I’ve always allowed my children to speak up and the words insolent or backchatting were never used in our house.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/07/2025 20:58

Many people seem to think assertive and aggressive/confrontational are the same thing. Saying anything at all that shows you're not happy or outright angry at something someone else has said or done is therefore frightening.

DH has just said 'I've burnt all your belongings and emptied your bank account. I'm off to the pub now, I'll have dinner when I get back, whenever that is.' Obviously I'm not happy about it but I hate confrontation, what can I do?

BunnyLake · 07/07/2025 20:57

Zov · 07/07/2025 20:18

'Big girl words.' VOM.

Also, 'time to put your big girl pants on.'

Does anyone say this in real life? Confused

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No, at least not in my world. Really hate “big girl pants” (although I do actually prefer big knickers nowadays 😁).

heavenstruck · 07/07/2025 20:28

I always tell dh to use his words 🤣

TheAutumnCrow · 07/07/2025 20:21

whitewineandsun · 07/07/2025 20:18

That's just as patronising, IMO, especially, ‘Are there particular reasons why you haven’t spoken to them about it yet?’

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You have to set up the suggestion first. It’s about having a chat with the OP and working up to trying to help them out, not just bulldozing in with the fastest patronising insult, when they’ve got a problem and feel a bit miserable.

Blurrywateryeye · 07/07/2025 20:19

BunnyLake · 07/07/2025 20:13

I personally don’t like confrontation but some posters seem unable to ever voice their likes or dislikes or what they won’t tolerate even to their (non abusive) spouses or children.

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More fool them. But only bullies and thick people use confrontation as their go to. Most civil people IRL don't do that. I suspect a lot hide behind it being anonymous. Cowardly I would say.

Zov · 07/07/2025 20:18

LondonFox · 07/07/2025 20:15

Tbh in most cases posts go like:
"I am married to 20 years, helped my DH in every way, raised kids while working ft and catered for his every wish.
Also, he cannot remember my birthday so I feel a bit sad."
MN: "use your BIG GIRL words"

Like for what?
To tell capable adult to use his fucking brain?

You would expect people to get to know you in a relationship without you listing every single step they need to do.
Just imagine world where women wait for men to tell them every day a full list of detailed instructions in order lol

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'Big girl words.' VOM.

Also, 'time to put your big girl pants on.'

Does anyone say this in real life? Confused

whitewineandsun · 07/07/2025 20:18

TheAutumnCrow · 07/07/2025 20:16

I think that there are helpful alternatives to the ghastly phrase ‘use your words’, which could be offered to the supposed ‘wet lettuces’ who presumably have some stuff going on.

‘Do you need some ideas about how to raise the subject with her?’

‘Is it hard for you to talk to him for a specific reason?’

‘Are there particular reasons why you haven’t spoken to them about it yet?’

That's just as patronising, IMO, especially, ‘Are there particular reasons why you haven’t spoken to them about it yet?’

Zov · 07/07/2025 20:17

SchnizelVonKrumm · 07/07/2025 19:42

All before taking their fur baby to foggy day care Envy

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*doggy day care?

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