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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset husband’s friends have organised his 40th birthday trip abroad?

233 replies

EasySqueezy25 · 07/07/2025 14:19

My husband and I have been together nearly six years and married for two.

Our marriage has been a bit unhappy recently and I put this down to his drinking - he will go to the pub multiple times a week for five to seven hours at a time and when he comes home he can be a dick. I don’t go because I’m just not a pub person and really dislike some of the locals.

Last week he told me his pub friends have arranged for them all to go to Benidorm next year for his 40th.

I have not been contacted by any of them about it, never mind invited.

I would not want to go anyway as one of the aforementioned locals is going and at a friend’s BBQ at the weekend this man child made a snide comment about me and despite my confronting him over what he said, my husband (who was standing beside me) didn’t get involved.

I’ve told DH how hurt I am by this and he just puts the blame on his friends. I have no problem with him going away with his friends for the weekend but this isn’t just boys trip, a lot of people are going.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
EasySqueezy25 · 07/07/2025 14:47

MaraB77 · 07/07/2025 14:41

I like a drink and think MN can be quite puritanical about anyone enjoying the odd night out, but up to 7 hours, several times a week- that's a serious drinking problem. He doesn't want to back off from his friends because they make it seem normal.

Thank you. I’d never thought about it that way. Some of them are full blown alcoholics and I think my husband is heading that way. His late mother was a vodka for breakfast alcoholic and his sister was an alcoholic too but has been dry for a long time.

He gets so defensive when I mention how much he is drinking, saying “are you saying I’m an alcoholic?!”….

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 07/07/2025 14:47

Whenever I meet someone who spends that sort of time at the pub, they’re an alcoholic.

Im willing to believe that some might not be, but I think it’s unusual.

Tbh if the person who was snide about you doesn’t know you, then they got that attitude to you from your husband.

MaraB77 · 07/07/2025 14:41

I like a drink and think MN can be quite puritanical about anyone enjoying the odd night out, but up to 7 hours, several times a week- that's a serious drinking problem. He doesn't want to back off from his friends because they make it seem normal.

Rainbows41 · 07/07/2025 14:32

Cocklodger.

Fuck him off!

Idontjetwashthefucker · 07/07/2025 14:25

Get rid, he sounds like a waste of space

Merryoldgoat · 07/07/2025 14:24

This is no marriage. Why are you putting yourself through this?

Patty101 · 07/07/2025 14:24

You are worth so much more than this man.

MidnightPatrol · 07/07/2025 14:21

Why are you with him if you’re unhappy and he’s out multiple evenings a week boozing without you?

Sounds like he’s checked out tbh.