Late evening eating

So instead of (god forbid) leaving a speck of mess in the kitchen or allegedly interrupting OP’s peace by cooking in his own home he should fuel himself with UPF crap? Sounds delightful!

OP I’m with you this sounds absolutely awful. I couldn’t live like this

Does that even cover the costs of the eggs?

The fucking chickens are gonna go on strike. 🐔🐔🐔

Agreed but according to a poster above, this is 'a disorder'!!!

My god, when did looking after your living environment and wanting basic hygiene in the house become 'a disorder'. Its just basic standards, wipe the fucking worktops down!!!

@Biginnin em don’t you think your over reacting a bit there just a Bit? He left a PLATE in the sink not commit mass murder

https://uk.huel.com/products/hot-and-savoury-meal-packs?variantId=db17c932-8545-4b24-87d6-4c6bb0869016&quantity=1&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=22490484120&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=180241192553&utm_term=&BrandGeneric=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22490484120&gbraid=0AAAAADelta0s094eSCR-r0m8e8M1d0mRv&gclid=CjwKCAjw4K3DBhBqEiwAYtG_9AiV7jXQinnrqGpDglCOaZSKbzknHZHIr4b3snAZhn2eChgU2LUi9xoCkpcQAvD_BwE

one of these and a protein shake a night would do him

He could buy high reporting ready meals from Huel or somewhere like that? Then it’s just a case of a bowl and a spoon that needs washing.

I knew how this thread would go op because there have been similar ones. My DS stayed for three months earlier this year and he was cooking and waking me up during the night. It's horrible waking up to cooking smells and a messy kitchen and I hate it when people are downstairs when I'm trying to sleep.

I like a very ordered life and like to leave the kitchen in a decent state and then get ready for bed quietly. I think this is pretty normal but according to MN this is very unreasonable.

You’re grumpy and I feel for him. There are far messier meals! He might feel really sad and uncomfortable

He is an adult living with you but he's in a weird grey zone. If he were paying market rents then I'd say he's as entitled to do as he pleases as any housemate would be. But as he is paying minimal contributions to living expenses let alone rent (all that food! I bet he eats more than £150 of food a month...) he needs to live on your terms. The issue is you need to be a united front with your DH and you'll probably both need to compromise on something you hold dear to reach that position. Could it be eg don't use the kitchen after midnight? But don't sweat a dirty plate in the sink (one dirty plate is not going to kill anyone). Or whatever - you get to decide together. Then hold him to that.

He's on a fab one at yours.

I'd charge him a lot more - he can afford £500 - his food bill alone must be mad - around £250 pcm. Anyways use the £100-£150 of it and start a pension or ISA for him. It'll be worth £m by the time he retires given the right investment. Maybe do what a friend of mine does and get a robot to invest it in stocks and shares.

Ref cooking, yes he needs to clean up. Telling he pays an extra £10 for everytime he leaves the kitchen in a mess. If he cooks after 10pm he pays £10 disturbance. You pocket the fines. It'll add up and he most definitely won't want to pay.

With all due respect, it's time for him to live by himself.
Do you happen to have OCD? Perfect, show home kitchen doesn't last almost anywhere. I have a mild OCD and managed to drop a lot of these concerns as I got older.

I think you also have a disorder tbh.

There has to be a bit of give and take. A 21 year old could be doing so much worse than this.

150 a month is ridiculously low. Especially if you are paying for all this food too. He should be paying a lot more for one thing. You can't tell him whst to eat but it sounds like obsessive behaviour. Maybe he could rent somewhere . He earns quite a bit.

He’s on 30k paying 150pm?? What planet does your DH live on?

Why is he not in his own place? If he’s saying up for a deposit how much has he got and when does he expect to reach his goal amount?

@MarinaDelRay

omg read the OP’s post - he doesn’t clean up after himself and this excess of food he doesn’t pay for himself.

This. My son does the same and I’m fine with it. Why shouldn’t your stepson cook when he wants without you threatening to move out?

You’ll get your arse handed to you for that on here, but I think fair play to you! 👏

@sarah419

Good grief, why is your bar so low for young adults? So long as they have a job and aren’t on drugs we needs to be grateful and just let them do whatever they want??
Yeah, no.

My ds makes chicken and cheese wraps in the airfryer which is much less mess. We cook a load of chicken in some sort of marinade, chop it up and leave in the fridge. He uses silicone air fryer liners which can just go in the dishwasher. Means he can stuff his face full of protein but isn't making a huge mess.

I forgot to add that OP is being unreasonable to label him as disordered eating, thats generally what people say when others just dont eat like them.

She isnt unreasonable to want the kitchen left as she found it

There are some fairly easy fixes to this

OP needs to stop buying his portions of food, dont buy the things he generally eats, ie the eggs and porridge, he needs to be more self sufficient, that shoujld also focus his mind on being more responsible and self motivated

He also needs to continue to share the general running of the home while he lives there, as OP says he wants all the perks of family life but not the drudgery that inevitably comes with sharing a house with someone, you have to clear up after yourself.

At the end of the day if the lifestyles are not compatible, he needs to move out, he would be able to afford a house share.

I think you're being ridiculous. Let the guy live, he is doing no harm whatsoever!

You really are not being unreasonable. It’s so bloody disrespectful to be cooking and leave the kitchen untidy after someone else has left it nice and clean.

My son tried this once. Went to the gym at 11.30pm and came home and cooked chicken fillets, pasta and sauce. He left pasta sauce on the side and hadn’t washed the baking tray that had the chicken on it. I can tell you now, it was the first and last time he did it. I woke him up at 6,15am and told him to get his lazy arse down to the kitchen and clean up.

He still cooks when he gets back from the gym, but always cleans up after himself now.