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Original poster

How bad is my situation - am i delusional?

303 replies

SharpOliveUser · 07/07/2025 13:32

Hi all,

need some perspective and advice. I am 32, childless by choice but married. Me and dh own our own home.

I earn 44,000 a year (my dh similar) but i am in quite a bit of debt. My partner knows i am in debt but not the extent. To be honest i wasnt aware of the extent - ive just been feeling more and more squeezed by the minimums.

when i’ve sat down and totalled it up my personal debt (credit cards and personal loans) is just shy of 50k. I am in shock.

this has been accumulated over the last ten years of living above my means/travelling.

However, the thought of tackling it seems so daunting - life is so short and there are so many things i want to do/ places i want to travel.

i also have a horse and he costs me a significant amount - i have recently considered sending him away for training as i dont currently enjoy riding him but now i am thinking maybe i should sell? I would get about 10k for him in the current market and as i say i dont enjoy him. However being a horse owner and an equestrian is such a big part of my identity so i am dragging my feet. Realistically when will i be able to justify buying another horse and i will miss the horse world very much.

i guess i just need some perspective on how urgent/ bad my situation is and some advice on how to proceed without getting too depressed. 😔

my only savings total 500 pounds

OP posts:
iamnotalemon · 07/07/2025 13:39

First of all I would head to moneysavingexpert- they have a ‘debt free wannabe’ chat forum and other valuable resources. Can you move any of your debt to a 0% credit card? Can you manage your repayments?

I appreciate you don’t want to sell your horse but £10,000 is lots of money and would be a good start in clearing your debt.

Are there any other outgoings you can get rid of or reduce? I was in a lot of debt when I was younger so know it’s a tough position to be in but best to tackle it now before you run up any more debt.

PenCreed · 07/07/2025 13:39

Sell the horse. You aren’t enjoying riding him and everyone knows horses are expensive to keep. Use the money to pay off some debt, use what you save by not keeping a horse to pay off debts. Travelling will keep, and you can’t travel if you go bankrupt.

Heregoes234 · 07/07/2025 13:38

Jesus

You need to face reality sell the horse get 10k use all of that to reduce the debt.
speak to citizens advice see if any can be written off or reduced in some way.

When you’ve sold horse or paid a chunk off tell your partner the extent of things they won’t want you to spiral further and holding onto something that colossal isn’t going to be great for your relationship you’re supposed to be a team.

Start saving more only 500 in savings isn’t great everything now needs to go towards payitn off your debts no more luxury holidays or living above your means.

Yes it will be hard. I had to do it when my partner left two years ago and cut all support whilst leaving me to raise two kids.
It took a year for me to actually realise that’s not my life anymore and to live within my means you need to do similar. Living with a husband without kids and owning your own home you could pay off 20k a year easily with you income. Plus 10k if you sell the horse and by summer next year be back to travelling.