To think about writing a book around my crazy life?!

Have you started writing OP?

Yes, this is also a common reason for writing a book.

I’m an editor. If you are going to write about your life, you need to be very careful if you are writing about anyone that could be identified - like your ex. You risk being sued.

You’d need a legal read by a solicitor who specialises in this area. It’s best to ask permission of everyone you are going to talk shoot. Obviously, this is not always possible.

Simply changing their name and some details isn’t enough to stop you being sued.

It’s very hard to find an agent to take on a book by a new author, but almost impossible to find one for a memoir by an unknown author. The best option for you might be self publishing - there’s plenty on that online that you can research.

But the first step is writing it all down! Good luck!

I'm an author. Every third person tells me that they're going to write a book about their life because 'nobody would be believe it, you couldn't make it up!' But if you have the grit and determination to see a manuscript through its 90,000 words, have it edited within an inch of its life, and then send it out on submission, then you stand as good a chance as any of getting published. Just make sure you read LOTS of similar work so you know how to structure it, and give it a payoff that readers will enjoy - nobody, in these uncertain days, wants to read a long book about people behaving badly only to arrive at a miserable, downbeat ending.

But new books by new writers are published every day, so give it a go.

Not sure misery-lit is as popular as it was. I’d keep it as a journal.

Also, just to add, I’m sorry you were in such an awful relationship. I had a similar experience. Unfortunately I think it’s fairly common. I’m not sure how many people would want to be reminded of it. I wouldn’t buy a book like this.

How do you make a living as a copywriter? Thought it was all AI now?

To explicit answer your question.

Am I interested in a book based around somebody’s life events? Yes! Life events such as circumventing the globe on their own in a rowing boat; going from a trailer park in a US backwater to being a global singing phenomenon

That kind of “life events”

Not a sad and all too common potted history of a bleak relationship and controlling in laws

So I have answered your question. However I suspect my answer won’t be the one you want

That’s very much not true I mean the bit about people not buying books. I’m a person and i buy books, go in any Waterstones it’s busy.

richard osman sold 150k of his last novel in a week.

If you have a story to tell that you want to put on the page, you should absolutely do it. I wouldn't worry at this stage about publishing, since that process can be long and arduous. You need to produce the manuscript first, then consider your options if you want to go down the publication route.

There is nothing wrong with writing fiction based on your own experiences. Writing an autobiographical novel is a longstanding tradition, especially for a first novel. But the plot is less important than other elements. Do you have an original approach to the subject matter? Can you create a compelling narrative voice?

Who are your favourite novelists? What is the best novel that you've read in the last month or two?

if a book around somebody’s life events is something that would interest people.

Well as I said before, you are asking the wrong question. What a book is "around', and whether the events related are true or not - these are not the reasons that a book interests people!

There is some value in including a truth claim, particularly for publishers and to capture initial interest of readers.

A book saying "these are the true reflections of Churchill's private secretary during secret negotiations with Germany in 1943" is interesting, maybe, as an idea - because the person was in a unique and important position and if I read it I might learn new things about influential people. But even so, if it's written incredibly boringly or badly it won't be published, read or enjoyed.

If you're rich and famous enough, and have had access to situations of power or important events, and you believe your take on life has led you to some extraordinary reward, you can pay ghost writers to make a silk purse out of the sow's ear of your experiences (cough Art Of The Deal cough).

A book saying "the true story of a woman escaping her husband" might be interesting if that's a subject you find interesting. But it is not of itself noteworthy. This makes it even more important that it is written brilliantly and with something to say thematically about the subject that is more than "This happened to me and it was awful!" There needs to be a take on those experiences that others can learn from, or an artistic expression of those experiences that leads to a deeper understanding.

Zadie Smith's White Teeth isnt just setting out her personal life growing up in a specific ethnic and cultural background but a rich novel saying many things about contemporary society and with complex characters. Monica Dickens wrote lots of books about having everyday jobs but her books aren't interesting because of this. People don't enjoy them because they are around her life events as "woman does training as nurse" - or even, "Charles Dickens' relative gets ordinary jobs then writes about it". They enjoy them because she is an excellent writer of characters and situations who can create comedy from everyday experiences.

In a sense every book is about somebody's life events. It just feels like you don't really know what a book is, and also from your posts don't have an inherent flair for or love of language (otherwise it would show up in your posts - soz, but when you're good with words it tends to show up everywhere). So it feels as though you're completely underestimating what a book entails.

@itsokayokay
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Youth-Trilogy-Book-ebook/dp/B003VWCAYS/
Karen Woods wrote a book and promoted it locally by leafleting - which is how I know about it.
I picked up a copy after a month or so from the local charity shop.
She's gone on to write lots more books and has plenty of reviews of some of them so I assume she's done OK.

Her publisher initally was these:
https://www.empire-uk.com/bagheads.htm

It's a bloke and he's a twat. Lol.

If your escaped your ex by brutally murdering him, I might read that. Even if you didn't, you could write it that way, and how you stayed one step ahead of the police investigation. Police cat and mouse chases are popular.

Actually, I think this idea has legs. If you can write at pace with a witty and humorous style and maybe create a plot twist, I think there’s definite appeal in a murder mystery which - rather than being about the relationship itself and a load of turgid, maudlin prose about abuse along the lines of “he called her a bitch and she looked soulfully up into his eyes saying, please stop, Mike” etc for 800 pages - begins with the end of the relationship and how the quirky protagonist lives from there.

A relative of mine wrote a memoir. It was only self published to give to family members but now they are dead it's brilliant to have. I'd encourage you to write it if only for your ancestors!

I agree it's a tough crowd, but I also agree that 'you shoudl write a book' is something people just say if you are regaling them a bit too much with your drama. It's because they think it will be cathartic for you, not necessarily because they think you are the next great relationship guru or blockbuster writer.

What you think is your unique and 'crazy' experience of a 'narc' partner is often just a depressingly common scenario. Many young women who lack healthy boundaries due to complicated or chaotic childhoods give over several years to controlling, abusive partners because they don't have other, more healthy relationship experiences to compare it to. They make the mistake of confusing drama and trauma and intense jealousy and with passion and profound love.

That's not to say there may not be any value in writing about those things, but I don't think it's interesting or unusual enough to attract the attention of a publisher, unless it's written in the form of an excellent, thoroughly gripping thriller novel. Not as a 'let me tell you all about my crazy life.' Because it's really not that crazy.

If the OP wants to talk specifically about herself as a warning to others she'd be better with a blog or a podcast, or a tiktok channel. Although the market has been thoroughly over-saturated for all of those as well, so unless she's truly excellent and engaging, it's unlikely to make waves. Or money.

Sorry OP, I don't wish to sound negative. Every year hundreds of people will produce their first book and every year several of them will secure a book deal that will be successful and possibly even quite lucrative for them. There's no reason why you can't be one of them, but do be realistic in your approach and your expectations.

That's exactly what I was trying to point out.
Thousands of us have an amazing life story filled with adversity, but it doesn't mean it is of any interest to others.
We could all start a thread and big ourselves up, but most of us realise that in doing that, we would be opening ourselves up to a barrage of abuse and ridicule.
If you can't cope with the jokes about your "typos" then how on earth are you going to cope when, as a published author, you receive negative or critical reviews?
You are coming across as quite immature and defensive, and I think perhaps you need to address that before you consider writing a blockbuster. Maybe try journaling to begin with, then you won't have to deal with the disappointment that goes along with rejected manuscripts.

A good book can be about any subject. What matters is whether you can actually write well enough to make it compelling.

OP, you want to write a book? then go for it.

You don't need anyone's permission...

You will always get people (as illustrated on this thread...) who try to smack down anyone who wants to do something creative/a bit different.

Start by doing an outline and writing a couple of chapters and see how you get on.

It might be that the story does not flow and you might end up writing about something completely different or it might work out very well but you won't know until you start.

There are often creative writing groups that you can join for support.

Much healthier to discuss writing with like-minded people than some of the killjoys on this thread.

It's just one of those things people say to others, sometimes meant in a kinda snarky disbelief way or a 'stop trauma dumping on me' way.

I don't see there's any harm in writing your own story of your life if you'd find it interesting to do so and enjoyable, but I wouldn't go into it assuming anyone will buy it or want to read it. The world is teeming with people who've been through all kinds of different difficult things, I'd say that's the norm rather than the exception tbh.

Seriously OP, it’s a crabby bunch in here today! You do you!

Then do that - my point want “this is what’s required”, it was “go for it, ignore the haters and give it a crack if that’s what you want”. People get all different starts in life, I’m sure publishing is the same, things can blossom in all sorts of ways.

Well, there was a spate of books about childhood neglect and maltreatment about 30 years ago, eg 'A child called it'. Fashions change and move on in popular fiction/non fiction, as with everything else, I suppose.
I think maybe you came to the wrong place for advice/encouragement, OP.

There are many, if not the majority of posters on this site that have had many misfortunes, the most common being abuse at the hands of men. Maybe it just seems a little tone deaf to rock up here and blithely ask for encouragement to write about your experience when it is commonplace, albeit tragic on mumsnet.

Good luck anyway, you may well fins a readership - people like tales of adversity.

“They are typos that’s all”

said no copywriter ever!