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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask DH to no go away for weekend

206 replies

Pt4ever · 07/07/2025 10:50

Hello,

I'll keep it brief.

DH is going away to an event in a few weeks for a night away I've no interest in the event (airshow 🙄🥱🥱) he went last year and had another weekend away doing something else in the winter of 2024

We've one DS who he's arranged childcare for with ho parents and worked overtime to pay for all travel/ hotel and tickets. I just feel like I don't really get a chance to go away for my hobbies, he's always said I can go away and we can afford it but it feels weird me up and going away for the weekend.

To ask him not to go? How would I explain it?

OP posts:
SouthLondonMum22 · 07/07/2025 11:09

Incredibly unreasonable.

Laiste · 07/07/2025 11:07

What's the real reason you don't want him to go? It can't be because you don't want to ....

outerspacepotato · 07/07/2025 11:07

He's done everything right here down to arranging childcare but you want him not to go because you feel weird about going away yourself?

You're being uber controlling. Definitely unreasonable.

No martyr points for you.

LoudSnoringDog · 07/07/2025 11:07

Completely unreasonable behaviour on your part. Why can’t you look after your own child ?

JMSA · 07/07/2025 11:06

Eh?? You don’t even need to look after your child because he has sorted childcare. Why not use the time to focus on yourself/your hobbies and do your own thing?
You’re so unreasonable that I don’t know where to start.

bridgetreilly · 07/07/2025 11:05

Bonkers. If you don’t want to go away, that’s fine, but you can’t stop him.

If it’s a reverse, he’s clearly being a controlling twat.

DecayedStrumpet · 07/07/2025 11:05

Yup, is this a reverse?
Would be most unusual for a DH to arrange childcare before going away for the weekend unless DW has major physical or mental difficulties

MammaTo · 07/07/2025 11:04

Is this a wind up?

PeapodMcgee · 07/07/2025 11:04

justaddittothelist · 07/07/2025 11:02

This reads like a reverse.....

Yes that's just what I thought. Very controlling and un self-aware behaviour otherwise.

justaddittothelist · 07/07/2025 11:02

This reads like a reverse.....

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 07/07/2025 11:02

And you do get chance. You just don't take it

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 07/07/2025 11:01

He can't go because you would feel weird going? Even though he encourages you to do so?

Nope. I don't see the logic

YABSU

Topjoe19 · 07/07/2025 11:01

You need to explain why you want to ask him not to go. Because from your post I can't think of a single reason why you are bothered about him going?

PeapodMcgee · 07/07/2025 11:00

Nobody receives a medal for acting the martyr. Don't try to drag him down too. You are being highly unreasonable.

Seawolves · 07/07/2025 10:59

I don't understand why you want him to not go, is there something more to this?

DarkForces · 07/07/2025 10:59

If dh tried to stop me going away for the odd weekend that I was funding and had arranged childcare for I'd leave him. In fact I wouldn't arrange childcare. He's perfectly capable and I'd pay for it out the joint account. As he would too. Time doing stuff you enjoy and having freedom is essential and he's hardly away at all based on what you've said here.

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/07/2025 10:58

He’s arranged childcare for DS - this sounds like the opportunity you want to go away for your hobby / with a friend / so whatever you want.

If he were away every weekend then he’d be being unreasonable, but a handful of times a year is perfectly healthy and what we should all aim to be doing when we can.

BendingSpoons · 07/07/2025 10:57

He's paid for it and arranged childcare. It appears to be twice a year for 1 or 2 nights? That seems reasonable to me.

If you don't want to go away, is there something else you would like instead? Would you like DH to take your DC out or to stay at his parents to give you peace and quiet? Would you just like a lie in and the chance to potter around the shops?

It seems unfair to say 'I don't want you to go because I don't want to do the same'.

Blurrywateryeye · 07/07/2025 10:57

If you find it weird to go away that’s on you, you’re being unreasonable to think your husband shouldn’t go. Childcare isn’t an issue, so what is the issue? You seem controlling.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 07/07/2025 10:57

What? Why would you ask him not to go?
I don’t understand

Poopeepoopee · 07/07/2025 10:57

As the others have said - YABU

When was the last time you took him for a pint to show your appreciation for everything he does?

TomatoSandwiches · 07/07/2025 10:56

You literally have no reason to ask him yo not go, what's wrong with you?

Arlanymor · 07/07/2025 10:56

I don't get this, sorry. He's done everything to take the strain off you - it's not his fault you don't like his hobby. You probably need to find better ways to occupy your time, but don't take it out on him. He's not away every weekend, it's very rare for him to have time for himself, so why would you spoil or begrudge it?

YogaLite · 07/07/2025 10:56

U could still go away together and u could explore the area away from the airshow?

BumpyaDaisyevna · 07/07/2025 10:55

Yabu! He’s sorted the childcare and worked extra to pay for it! He’s says he’ll support you to have your time away.