To ask DH to no go away for weekend

@Pt4ever

i agree Op, once you have kids you should never have a weekend away. Hobbies are for pre- children life. It’s just not what parents do.

@Pt4ever So, he works OT to pay for the occasional weekend away, he's organised childcare with his DPs and he has no problem with you going away occasionally for your hobbies. He sounds like a perfectly reasonable and considerate DH and YABU to ask him not to go. And of course you can't explain why you don't want him to go because there's no rational explanation other than you would feel "weird" going away to pursue your own hobbies - well that's your problem OP. It seems to me that you're not really bothered about your hobbies and you don't think your DH should be either. YABVVVU.

Please fill in the missing context OP, so we can understand better. And if it’s a reverse, fess up ;)

what? Why?? He’s even arranged childcare - why don’t you use the weekend to do something yourself or see a friend? You are obviously being completely unreasonable

I'm sure I'm repeating others...

1. why does he need to arrange childcare for your DS when you're not going with him?
2. ok so you don't like airshows, but surely you could go for a weekend away anyway,... or
3. book something for yourself. It's not his fault you won't do this.

No, of course not. You just go away for the weekend yourself. Don’t be such a sour lemon.

I have cancer, going through cancer treatment at the moment. I got the news that my scans were looking positive. First thing I did was book 4 days abroad without Dh or dc! It was fab. I go on holiday solo at least once a year and have since eldest (now 12) was 16 months. Go and enjoy your life. You only get to live it once.

100%

Yabu. And a martyr. And using that to be controlling. Go away.

also, why did he need to arrange childcare for your child? Unless you are working that weekend, why can’t you parent your child.

This can’t be real

And reverses should be banned.

You are so unreasonable I am speechless. He’s going away and sorted childcare for you so you have a whole weekend to yourself!

Go away yourself, or do a couple of courses local to you then

Are you serious? He can't go because you don't want to? YABVU.

And the fact that the "DH" has arranged childcare, that feels like a hoop the mother would have to jump through to make it easier for the man.
Huge generalisation I know but seems to be a common theme where the woman makes it as easy as possible for the man-baby just so she can have a few hours to herself.

My partner is currently in the air to see university friends who live in Europe. They've gone for a week. There's nothing to stop me from going away for a week or even a weekend doing something for me, but I go away with work several times a year and it's just nice to have the house to myself.
I'm sensing that you're a bit resentful of your DH going away and you being left at home, and that you're not going to appreciate quiet bliss like me!
I think you need to try to work out why you feel that you can't go away for your hobbies. From what you've put, there's no real barrier stopping you in terms of finance or your DH having a strop if you go.

In case it's not a reverse, yabu expecting him to not go away just because you won't.

You both should be able to go away on your own without jumping through hoops arranging childcare etc

It cant be explained reasonably because its an unreasonable request. It's healthy to have time to yourself and he's adequately covered financially and with help with your child. If you don't want to go away because it feels wierd then you don't go away, but you don't stop your husband going away. Three nights away in two years doesn't seem much to ask.

I don't see the problem here.

My DP and I both go away occasionally for short breaks by ourselves (we have 1 child). I go to London usually once a year, or to Europe for a couple of nights with friends, and he goes away for a few days at at time connected to his hobby. It recharges us so much. Its so important to have your own life outside of just being a parent. We're very hands on the rest of the time with DD - we're with her pre / post school every day as we both only work during school hours. We don't have a lot of family support around us, so getting that bit of a break while the other parent looks after DD is so key to keeping sane! I actively encourage my DP to have his breaks away. We are better parents for having a bit of breathing space occasionally and its good for our relationship too, otherwise what do you have to talk about if you both don't have separate experiences sometimes?

Seems from the op that she does get the chance, she doesn't doesn't actually want to (feels 'weird' about it).

100% reverse, can tell by how it’s worded. The person who doesn’t go away by themselves, needs to start doing it.

As per name, dh has an outing hobby (not cycling or golf!) which takes him away most weekends during the summer months. Plus occasional events/weekends outside of that. Sometimes he takes dc, sometimes not.

I wouldn't begin to think of stopping him just because I can't/don't want to go away too!

This can't be real.

Is this a tedious reverse?

Agree this feels like a reverse. If it’s actually posted by a mum whose DH is objecting to her having the occasional weekend to enjoy a hobby, you are vindicated by these responses. Even if your DH doesn’t want time away, he shouldn’t be objecting to you having two days to do something for yourself. And he shouldn’t need grandparents to step in. He should be looking forward to some special one on one time with his child and trying to think of something extra nice to do while you are away.

You can do things without a man you know. Have a weekend away with friends or stay at home and have a pamper weekend.

You're being totally unreasonable. Everyone deserves the opportunity to get away and do something they enjoy. He's said you can do the same or an equivalent and so it's not like there is one rule for him and one for you, you're just choosing not to take him up on it. My dh goes away a couple of times a year for a hobby. I don't have an equivalent hobby, but will go visit a friend for a couple of nights as break instead. Even though overall I probably don't do as much as dh in terms of hobby / going away, I don't begrudge him doing it. He enjoys it and is happier for it and so I support him going it.