To ask DH to no go away for weekend

I don’t understand this post. If it were me in your husbands situation I wouldn’t have arranged childcare I would have expected the other parent to look after the child. Unless there is more to this story on the basis of what you have written this is very unreasonable behaviour on your part

You are being extremely unreasonable. He’s entitled to a life and hobbies, outside the family, as are you. Why on earth would you not be pleased for him getting to do something he’s planned, worked hard to pay for, made all the arrangements for, and reasonably encouraged you to do the same. Sure you could even have gone. Do you want him to sit home and be miserable? This is the most selfish suggestion I’ve seen on MN for a while.

Unless this is a reverse, I don’t understand it at all. Of course you would extremely unreasonable asking him not to go, based on the fact you never want to do anything. He has even worked overtime etc to pay so the family everyday budget is not impacted!

No idea why he had to arrange childcare though? It’s one weekend, roughly twice a year seemingly? Are you incapable of looking after your one child for one weekend, and if so, are SN involved for you or the child?

He's more than happy for you to get a weekend away too (as he should be of course). It's YOU who says you feel weird about it, so it's you stopping yourself from going. Why should he miss out because you feel weird about going yourself?

Normally with the husband going away for weekends, it's a LTB situation, but in your case, he's done everything he can to minimise any burden on you, and he's encouraging you to go away for your hobbies. Why wouldn't you take him at face value and jump at the chance?

I would be happy to see my DH having a break away as long as I knew exactly what it entailed. I certainly wouldn't agree if it was with another woman who happened to love an airshow & her DH felt the same as you.

You sound weird …. Needy ? Dependant ?
controlling ?
I’m not sure what it is - but your reaction sounds off .

You're a CF😂
Is this about the time the OP comes back and starts drip feeding about what a monster her DH is so we all start feeling sorry for her.

@Luckyingame
Opted out from what?

YABVU.
It's not like he's fucked off and not arranged childcare.
He's been careful to make sure you aren't inconvenienced by him going away for one night.

And then there's this:
"I just feel like I don't really get a chance to go away for my hobbies, he's always said I can go away and we can afford it but it feels weird me up and going away for the weekend."

He's offered you the chance to go away and yet you don't want to because it feels weird. What exactly do you want?

You don't get to stop him going away a couple of times a year just because you'd feel weird about going away.

I'd be saying something else if he just waltzed off without any consideration but he has arranged childcare and that means you'll have a free weekend at home which will be nice and he worked overtime to save the money rather than taking it out of the family pot.

Just because you don’t ever want to go away, does not mean that you should clip his wings.

Or just enjoy a weekend to yourself? That would be bliss in my book. Going to an airshow is harmless enough, I know some people love that sort of thing and your husband obviously does. As long as your son is old enough to be away from you and likes being with grandparents, sounds like an opportunity for you to please yourself for once. You don't have to go away anywhere but you can go out, see friends, eat and sleep when you feel like it, treat yourself. Grab the opportunity, you won't have it that often.

What's the reason for him getting childcare when he's away?

Of course not.

This seems odd that he would arrange childcare if you are there? Also, if he wants to do something that you don't want to do, it's unreasonable for you to expect him not to do it.

If you wanted to go to a spa for the weekend and he didn't want to go, would you think it perfectly reasonable that you shouldnt go ?

this is not how a healthy relationship should work.

Yep, this is one of those posts put out to wind everyone up or its a reverse.

No-one in their right mind would think it was unreasonable for their DH to go away for one sodding night. A night he has arranged childcare for and a night that he has saved hard for.

Here's a solution for you, he has arranged childcare, so go away for the night somewhere yourself while he is away. And you obviously DO get chance to go away and do things by yourself because he has told you you can so that is bullshit.

OP not been back I see.

Because he wants to go to the air show.

I think this must be a reverse. Why would he arrange childcare if there’s a parent at home? (Or if it’s a reverse why would you arrange childcare when dad’s at home). Bonkers.

Obvious reverse is obvious. And honestly I mis-trust reverses as they are always spun to get certain answers.

Of course you shouldn't tell him not to go!! What's wrong with him having a weekend away? If you feel that it's unfair on you (no idea why you would feel that!) then book your own weekend away.

Don't be a clingy and possessive spouse - you will drive him away in the end.

YABU. Not only because it sounds as though you resent him having any sort of a life, but also because - who doesn’t want to go to an air show? OK, that last bit was lighthearted because I love air shows. But seriously, the man has done everything right. Leave him alone to enjoy his lovely air show.

Exactly, that's why I opted out from this. Would have opted out from a marriage as well, but the money and security were too good to let go. 😁

My husband is going to the exact same airshow. And it’s a big birthday for me that weekend. And I couldn’t care less he can go and enjoy it and I’ll enjoy a weekend of peace.

The fact you’re asking an internet forum of strangers to help you explain your reaction reasonably to your DH, goes to show exactly how UNreasonable your reaction is. Even you can’t explain why you don’t want him to go.

Chill out - unless there’s a drip feed here where he never lets you go and do your own thing (which doesn't appear to be the case from your post), then he is the person with the healthy approach to your free time.

Go do your own thing as well - and maybe ask yourself why you feel weird or guilty about even thinking about doing that.