Page 4 | To not want to give up masturbation?

Rabbitsockpeony · 07/07/2025 04:49

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:44

I think so too tbh. I’m going to be on my guard but what I’ve done is added 5 hearts next to his name and each time he shows worrying behaviour or behaviour I just don’t like then I’ll remove a heart, once all the hearts are gone the next thing to go will be his name and contact in full and he’ll be gone

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Jesus Christ. What?!

VehicleTracker77 · 07/07/2025 04:46

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Olive567 · 07/07/2025 04:46

Crikey, this meaness of spirit would be a big turnoff for me. What an insecure little man, thinking it's all about him. Life's too short OP. I bet this stinginess and control is expressed in other ways too in your relationship.

LotaWyseWomen · 07/07/2025 04:28

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:32

I don’t think he’s lying about that tbh. He sleeps at mine every night. He goes to work at 5.30am. Comes back to mine after work at about 5-6pm, usually asleep on the sofa by 10pm and we’ll go to bed together when I’m ready but he continues to sleep. Then weekends we go out usually and if one of us is sleeping it’s always him so I don’t see when he would have the chance to tbh

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Was sleeping at yours every night agreed? And does he pay his way? It sounds as if he’s moved in by stealth. He should be paying half of the food and the bills as minimum. And as he’s basically moved in, half the rent and council tax… that is if you want him to be there every night, which is basically moving in.

I am pretty confident he’s not paying his way here and yet has decided he should be able to dictate what goes on in your home, which you pay for, yourself, and he’s using / taking advantage of every single night.

These are more big flappy red flags. From what you’ve said they’ll be many more. Just adding 2 more. One for moving in by stealth and another for not paying his way. 🚩 🚩

tamade · 07/07/2025 04:13

Caligirl80 · 07/07/2025 02:06

Oh gosh, here we go again: another obvious attempt to get people (women in particular) to talk about their sex lives. Urgh. Is there not enough online material to peruse without getting a thrill by trying to "trick" women into giving up their "rampant rabbit" visitation preferences???

There is nothing wrong with masturbation.
One partner trying to control another partner's "solo flying" is inappropriate.
The caveat is if the self-pleasure is impacting or detracting from the couple's intimate time together; or is impacting the person's regular life (i.e. people with a sex addiction); or is based on an inappropriate contact with another person/images (i.e. online contacts that go beyond looking at photos of Pedro Pascal, or Tom Hardy, or Magic Mike, or whoever floats your boat).

yep

hehehesorry · 07/07/2025 03:55

If you can't let go of masturbation you should be honest with him so he can find a woman he can have what he considers a healthy sex life with. Lots of people aren't okay with their partner masturbating but it's so commonplace thanks to Mindgeek and co that it's normalised. I personally think it's an unhealthy habit in a relationship but if you'd rather fiddle yourself than have a relationship with this man that's your choice and you have a right to it. What I don't think you have a right to is lying to him over it like some posters are reccomending. There are lots of benefits to abstaining from masturbation, but the more you do it the more reinforced the behaviour is.

Nopersbro · 07/07/2025 03:40

In all seriousness: dump him. That's an unacceptable level of control to try to exercise over one's partner, and his "all about meeeeeeee!" attitude probably indicates that he's not mature enough to be in a relationship anyway.

juststrutting · 07/07/2025 03:35

🚩

savagedaughter · 07/07/2025 02:55

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 01:35

I see my boyfriend everyday, we have sex most days, fairly new relationship but have known each other for 17 years. But I still masturbate sometimes. Maybe once or twice a week. Nothing to do with sex with him, just sometimes I need to unwind and it helps. Sometimes it helps me sleep. He hates the fact I do it. Thinks it means I think he’s shit in bed (he really isnt, he’s actually probably the best I’ve had in bed) but he wants me to give it up. I’ve asked if it’s a deal breaker and he said it might be…
what would you do?
do you still masturbate even if a happy relationship with a healthy sex life?

JFC. Imagine thinking he has the right to even ask this let alone control it. Huge red flags.

JollyGreenSleeves · 07/07/2025 02:54

I had a boyfriend like that in my 20s- made me throw away my vibrator, that was just the start, he turned out to be an absolute controlling psychopath.

How did your current partner’s previous relationship end? I bet he has told you she was ‘crazy’.

notacooldad · 07/07/2025 02:53

I think so too tbh. I’m going to be on my guard but what I’ve done is added 5 hearts next to his name and each time he shows worrying behaviour or behaviour I just don’t like then I’ll remove a heart, once all the hearts are gone the next thing to go will be his name and contact in full and he’ll be gone
So he gets 6 chances ( including this one) to cause you distress?
Madness, but if that's what you want to do, its on you.

Planesmistakenforstars · 07/07/2025 02:50

Devianinc · 07/07/2025 02:13

Why did he need to know. Keep it to yourself and it wouldn’t be a problem. I mean I think most people do it but there’s no need to share it.

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It will still be a problem, because it's not about wanking, it's about control.

PepsiMaxCherryAddict · 07/07/2025 02:49

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:44

I think so too tbh. I’m going to be on my guard but what I’ve done is added 5 hearts next to his name and each time he shows worrying behaviour or behaviour I just don’t like then I’ll remove a heart, once all the hearts are gone the next thing to go will be his name and contact in full and he’ll be gone

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I think this is just prolonging things to be honest, and if he slowly turns the heat up then you won’t necessarily be removing his name quick enough before you’re in too deep and letting him get away with things regardless because you’re too attached. There isn’t a man on this planet I would let control me in this manner or keep track of my day to day routine. He’s a massive red flag and a creep. You need rid now before it gets even harder for you.

Original poster

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:44

Kimwestonhelpless · 07/07/2025 02:33

I still think he's a controlling git.
All I can say to you is be on your guard if you stay with him or dump him and have a carefree Life.
Good luck with your decision 👍

I think so too tbh. I’m going to be on my guard but what I’ve done is added 5 hearts next to his name and each time he shows worrying behaviour or behaviour I just don’t like then I’ll remove a heart, once all the hearts are gone the next thing to go will be his name and contact in full and he’ll be gone

OP posts:

Noshadelamp · 07/07/2025 02:43

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:30

I DO think about him when I do it! And he knows that! I think he just knows me, known me for a very long time. I don’t drink or smoke but I like sex. I like the release an orgasm gives me so on my none working days I sometimes do it and then have a nanna nap after so usually if I’m napping he knows it’s because I’ve masturbated

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He shouldn't even be tracking what you're doing!

This is unsustainable, that just because you're having a nap it means you've masturbated? What if you're a bit off from the heat or a virus, I can imagine he won't believe you.

This is so creepy, that he makes an assumption of what you've been doing based on you having a nap.

Is he so controlling in other areas of your life?

You're allowed to do things he doesn't know about to your own body.

You're allowed time to yourself without him knowing what you're doing.

You're entitled to privacy!

Kimwestonhelpless · 07/07/2025 02:33

I still think he's a controlling git.
All I can say to you is be on your guard if you stay with him or dump him and have a carefree Life.
Good luck with your decision 👍

Devianinc · 07/07/2025 02:32

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:21

Apparently not. Which I believe. He works 6 days a week from 5.30 until 5ish most days, some days later. Comes straight from work and then we spend sundays together

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Not saying anything isn’t lying. Just keep it to yourself. I don’t announce to people that I’m going to masturbate tonight. It’s no one’s business except your own so just don’t tell people everything about yourself. Try to be just a little bit mysterious.

Original poster

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:32

Kimwestonhelpless · 07/07/2025 02:24

He's lying he doesn't wank.
I don't often say this when I'm posting because there's usually no need.
I'm a man and I can guarantee he's lying.

I don’t think he’s lying about that tbh. He sleeps at mine every night. He goes to work at 5.30am. Comes back to mine after work at about 5-6pm, usually asleep on the sofa by 10pm and we’ll go to bed together when I’m ready but he continues to sleep. Then weekends we go out usually and if one of us is sleeping it’s always him so I don’t see when he would have the chance to tbh

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Original poster

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:30

Kimwestonhelpless · 07/07/2025 02:17

That sort of control early on .. give it a miss op.
I bet if you said you thought of him whilst doing it , he'd take that as an ego boost though.
Your body, you do what you want.

I DO think about him when I do it! And he knows that! I think he just knows me, known me for a very long time. I don’t drink or smoke but I like sex. I like the release an orgasm gives me so on my none working days I sometimes do it and then have a nanna nap after so usually if I’m napping he knows it’s because I’ve masturbated

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Original poster

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:25

PolyCat · 07/07/2025 01:43

Never let someone control your body. His request is unacceptable. Nearly everyone masturbates and so does he.
You can try to calmly explain to him that this is something you enjoy and it has nothing to do with him.

I think so too tbh. I guess I just needed others to validate what I think to back me up. I have explained it but I asked chatgbt and it said "I need to be honest — asking me to give up masturbation feels like a boundary is being crossed. I'm here to support our relationship, but I also need space to feel connected to myself. I'm not okay with being told what I can or can't do with my body." which I honestly think is perfect. It’s basically tell him it’s none of his fucking business

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Kimwestonhelpless · 07/07/2025 02:24

He's lying he doesn't wank.
I don't often say this when I'm posting because there's usually no need.
I'm a man and I can guarantee he's lying.

Original poster

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:22

GoldDuster · 07/07/2025 01:42

If you want to be with a controlling man who's ego is so fragile he wants to ban his partner from masturbating then you know where to find one.

The problem is I have adhd and I cannot lie to save my life and I’m a chronic oversharer so if he asked me outright I don’t think I could lie. I guess the reason I’m asking on here is because I am worried about it being the start of something more sinister

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Original poster

Gwendoline1989 · 07/07/2025 02:21

MsNevermore · 07/07/2025 01:40

I mean, does he never have a wank? 🫠🫠🫠🫠

Apparently not. Which I believe. He works 6 days a week from 5.30 until 5ish most days, some days later. Comes straight from work and then we spend sundays together

OP posts:

Kimwestonhelpless · 07/07/2025 02:17

That sort of control early on .. give it a miss op.
I bet if you said you thought of him whilst doing it , he'd take that as an ego boost though.
Your body, you do what you want.

Lilcrazyop · 07/07/2025 02:14

It’s really none of his business whether you do it or not. He does sound insecure. I would reassure him but don’t let him control you as that isn’t healthy. Have a talk with him and if he still gets on controlling I’d cut my losses.