For those who were beautiful, how do you deal with age?

Agree, met an 85 year old friend of a friend at the weekend. She had just been paddle boarding and met us for a sea swim. She was vibrant, sunkissed, weather beaten and had long greying wild hair and exuded a love of life. Beautiful and inspiring woman. Like some mythical goddess.

I have sometimes wondered if beautiful women struggle more with ageing than average or plain women who have never enjoyed the benefits of good looks.

I'm not a beautiful person, never have been.
As much as I sigh at my reflection now, noting the deepening lines and bags under my eyes, it's a fleeting concern.
I live a healthy, active lifestyle and don't buy into anti-ageing products or procedures. I just don't care that much. They can't stop the ageing process. Nothing can.

Truth be told, after a significant weight loss and change in lifestyle a few years ago, I'm probably more conventionally attractive now than I was as a young woman. I'm nearly 50. I feel ok.
If I was a former looker I might mourn my youthful appearance more.

Personally I think I look better in my 50s than my 20s so it’s just a subjective topic, feel good in your own skin walk confidently and be kind.. that’s beauty not having killer cheekbones and flawless skin.

Strangely, when I see my gorgeous 22y daughter and her friends all dressed up and naturally beautiful, it fills me with joy. It makes me think that I have had my ‘time’ being young and now it is their time to shine. That is the natural sequence of life!

I actually consider myself lucky that I was never beautiful. I completely defined myself by my brains and my career rather than my looks. As a result, ageing has not bothered me. I am in my 50s and pleasantly surprised how I can scrub up well with decent clothes and a bit of lipstick. My husband thinks I’m really attractive still somehow!

I think it must be much harder for the gorgeous women who have always been complimented on their looks throughout their life.

I've always looked like a dogs dinner and I could not give one shit!

Maybe just get out there a bit more

By having a great personality

I agree. I do take care of myself but it's very much with a health focus. Obviously a woman of my age whose bar for happiness is set at being mistaken for a 20 year old is going to be dissatisfied 🤷

No one’s denying you can’t be be attractive and vibrant as you age. But no you just can’t have that sexual wow of a gorgeous 18-24 year old. Man or woman. That’s a biological life stage of humanity at its peak and when it’s gone it’s gone. The trick is accepting that gracefully.

Like those reels of celebs at different ages they look amazing at 50 but it’s not the same as 22. For anyone.

I was a beautiful twenty something and early thirtysomething, and I do miss some aspects of that, but as a reasonably ok looking woman in my late 40s, I think that the confidence and sense of self I have discovered over the last decade have made me much more content than being beautiful was ever going to.

I must get better at applying Factor50 every day. I only wear it when I'm going to be outside.

And totally agree on hairstyles. I'm growing my hair a bit now I'm in my early 40s, whilst it's still in nice condition, to avoid falling into the trap of having a boring short, practical style just because you're older.

54 now and lost a load of weight so my face sags a little as a consequence, but, boy, do I rock??!!
My body is awesome - it grew another human and has served me well for 54 years: strong, a “little” battle worn, but reliable. My confidence is just fine (thank you, 40+ where I stopped giving a fuck!). I have a bit of Botox every 6-8 months on my wrinkly forehead (screen based job & near sighted is NOT a kind mix on the ol’ squinting). I dress well & trendy. I am kind, intelligent, have (excellent, diverse & very different from me) friends, interest, hobbies, humour, zest, ambition, drive, empathy & a solid vocabulary of excellent swear words. I am beautiful at any age.
(It really isn’t just a skin deep thing)

I was stunning when I was young. I would get stares all the time. I was ok looking till 52 and then my looks fell off a cliff! Had jowls, wrinkly neck, hooded eyes....I had a facelift, necklift and upper and lower bleph. I now look ok for my age (55) but there's no way to turn the clock back to my 30's. I'll never be a show stopper again. But I look way better than I did before my procedures, so I'm happy with that.

Perhaps some plastic surgery? You don’t stop being beautiful just because you age.

70 here. Never was what you could call beautiful. Have been loved. Still am by a lot younger man. My family love me. I’m just older. Not too many wrinkles, or grey hair, I think it’s more a mindset than anything else. I’m very positive. Very healthy and sporty, even if over weight. I’m able to do more than some of my younger friends. The only regret I have is not being able to do some physical things anymore, like jumping off rocks or silly stuff like that. Frightened that I might hurt myself. Did pull a muscle at sport not too long ago and it’s silly time getting over it. But some of my younger friends are looking at hip or knee replacements. So… I’m keeping up with the healthy lifestyle and hope to enjoy life being beautiful or ugly for as long as possible.

Be grateful that you have known what it was like to be beautiful. Accept that the alternative is aging is death.

Beauty isn't a talent or skill though is it? And it's not rare. Everyone in a relationship thinks their partner is beautiful.

Beauty is not dependent on youth.

If you’re not feeling beautiful, it’s either your mindset or you’re getting something wrong. Adjustments to style and attitude need to be made as we age.

I think if I was to have seen how I would look now when I was 25, I would be surprised and happy tbh

Why does being ‘beautiful’ matter. It’s tied up in the notion that our worth is based on how we look.

This is when I am grateful not to have been blessed with outstanding good looks. I had to work harder on my personality and learn to love myself for who i am as I wasn’t defined by my looks. There is still time to do that OP. and remember you will still look better than most of us

The alternative to ageing is dying young.
I happily accept growing old and all that goes with it. Every birthday is a blessing.

I think truly beautiful people will always have that. I see beauty in every age.

But you’re putting so much into youth, why? I feel better in my mid 40s than any other time. We all age, we are all in it together. Everyone older will be even older, everyone our age is going through it at the same time, and the younger people are just behind us.
It also helps when you’ve lost people who died before their time, it helps you realise what is important.

The thing I struggle with most is how much I’m starting to look like my mother. She died 6 years ago and had me quite young, so I’m getting close to the age she died. I had a complicated relationship with her, not all fond memories so I struggle seeing bits of her in the mirror.

the shape of my hands the baggy skin on the back of them with liver spots

my saggy neck, which has give all wrinkly

my 11 lines

my jowels (where did they come from)

my stomach, my bum, my candles

the list goes on, I do catch a glimpse of myself in a shop window sometimes and have to do a double take, as I think it’s Mum.

I don’t think it matters if you were attractive or not. It’s the signs that you’re getting older and your body is changing. I’m 52 and I’ve aged so much more quickly in the last 10 years than I’ve ever noticed before. Rather than growing up (I can’t think of a better way to describe it, I’m now getting older and aging

I’m still really pretty, a really pretty 56 year old.

A small amount of botox every 6 months, (crows feet, forehead and frown lines) along with a good retinol and skincare regime does wonders. Most importantly factor 50 on your face, neck and decolletage daily without fail, even if you are not leaving the house. Eat healthily, stay hydrated, buy a water filter off Amazon as it makes water taste 1000% better and encourages you to drink more. 10k steps per day and gym 4 times per week, incorporating weight training to combat muscle loss. You won't look 21 but all of the above makes a huge difference.

Keep your hair longer than shoulder length, the reason why so many 40-50 year olds looked 70 in the past was due to the short hair styles. Avoid skinny jeans and similar, they suit nobody and are incredibly dated. Not having kids also helps; 8 hours uninterrupted sleep per day throughout adult life must make a difference.