For those who were beautiful, how do you deal with age?

Beauty isn't just about looks, it's deeper.
Really beautiful people shine regardless of exterior appearances.

Beauty is subjective. I think as long as I look in the mirror and see a beautiful heart and soul, a kind person staring back at me, thats all the beauty I need. I mean, who wants to go into their grave looking beautiful. I want to skid into mine, wrinkle and scars galore, to show I've lived a full life, wearing my battle scars with pride.

As we get older, our looks will fade. But if all you have is beauty then what's left?

I think you find a different kind of beauty. An acceptance of self, a desire to stay fit, strong and active, to nurture yourself.

I was never beautiful but in my 60s am more confident than I ever was. I've mellowed into myself, swim, walk, eat clean, healthy nutritious food, have hobbies and intersts that fire me up, I read, love my friends and family and enjoy nature and all life has to offer.

Surely a rich, full, happy life means more than a pretty face.

Stop looking in the mirror so much. Seriously. Do your face once in the morning, and then get on with your life. Get busy.

Also, get off social media. It sets unrealistic standards.

Because the alternative is that you die young and all the other, way more amazing things in life will die too.
No more sunsets, no more family, no more fresh sheets on the bed, no more reading a book in the sun.
To live to an old age is something to be so grateful for and 'losing your looks' means nothing in comparison.
I'm 40 and starting to learn these amazing life lessons, as a 20 or 30 year old I would of been bothered by wrinkles, grey hairs etc but as you get older you understand what life is actually all about and I can't wait to get older and realise even more of these lessons.

I've been watching several shows set in Ireland recently and am blown away by how beautiful people are. Irish women all seem to have incredible hair.

By focusing on how well I am doing as a parent, as a wife, as a friend and in my career. Beauty isn't the be all and end all. That's not to say I don't hate seeing the signs of ageing but I am able to not dwell on it.

If you don't realise that life has more to offer than superficial things like eyebrows getting older is difficult whatever you look like.

I was quite attractive (I would never have been considered "beautiful" but attractive/pretty). I also had very low self esteem in my youth and fretted all the time about how awful it would be when I lost my looks.

Well I really wish i hadnt worried about it. I'm 51 now, older, fatter, saggier with a few wrinkles and I feel absolutely fine. I look in the mirror and see the good points and think "yes you're ok for an old bird" and crack on with enjoying my day.

I think if you're good looking the risk is that it becomes more of your identity than it should, especially if you have low self esteem. It's been a pleasurable revelation to find out more about who I really am and that's also much more interesting than just having a nice face!

That rather depends on your circumstances.

The coors anyone? Irish people can be absolutely stunning, just the same as any nation!

I am 48 and I still consider myself beautiful. My Mum is 75 and gorgeous, my Nana was 91 when she died and gorgeous. I feel sorry for people who equate age with diminishing beauty.

I'd really have to disagree with that, beauty is beauty and its irrelevant if everyone finds their partner beautiful. Agree it's not talent or skill, but other people are born with talent. Some things you nurture of course but something you're born with. All I'm saying, is people are so dismissive of people losing their looks which I think is unfair. I mean if you had a brilliant singing voice and suddenly you didn't, you'd be sad about that, I don't think it's different

Ageing is a gift that not everybody gets.

We need to learn to be so grateful for our bodies and everything they do for us day to day.

Not everyone is blessed with legs to run, eyes to see etc.

Start speaking kindly to yourself in the mirror each morning and retrain your brain.

Wtf??? Irish people are as good looking as any other nationality!

As an aside, I'm not sure that I find it sweet ir deluded, but how come virtually everyone's daughters on Mumsnet are stunningly beautiful? My own daughter is adorable and much loved but she is undoubtedly 'plain' and her skin is more spotty than glowing. At my son's school graduation recently, it is fair to say that out of the 100 or so 18 year olds, only a handful could be described as very good looking. OK, I'm in Ireland and we're not the best looking to be fair - and come to think about, pretty much all the really good looking young people weren't Irish - but still.

Yes, this.
Although at times it's difficult, I'm obviously
a different person. Someone else. But not that difficult and not worth worrying about, me thinks. 😁

I live near a sixth form college and every lunchtime exquisite girls and gangly boys are casually flocking around the local cafe. The beauty of extreme youth is fleeting, and I know I was never one of those teens. My nieces were (and their mother put them on the pill when they were 14). Not being able to find clothes and shoes in my size, wearing ugly NHS glasses and developing raging acne didn't help me.

But somehow in my thirties and forties I stumbled into my looks and discovered my style. And my confidence. I went to a gym, wore heels, all that.

Then menopause kicked in and for 20 years or so I've been watching it ... Change.

I need to do more - the weight does creep on, the waistline expands, the tum balloons. A lifetime of not being sporty and liking my food. I need to change how I think and behave. Habits are hard to shift.

My legs, never my best feature, are not allowed out unsupervised. Long skirts, trousers, leggings, opaque tights. Never a fan of exercise.

Now I fear being stiff, ungainly, falls, broken bones. A manbarging incident from a trio of youths a few months back make me fear being vulnerable to attack.

Things accumulate. I haven't sunbathed since my twenties but haven't really done the sunblock - and a few months back was at the dermatology dept of the hospital for a mark on my face. Thankfully sun damage, nothing worse, but I'm now factor 50 every day for the duration. The doc complimented me on how beautifully hydrated my face was!

Moisturiser. ALL the moisturiser. Then some more. Everywhere. And water.

Never smoked, but if you do, stop - bathing your face in smoke for years will damage your skin and flesh. Booze and overeating - your organs are your age and just can't take what they used to!

I'm thinking about face yoga now ...

I was often told I was beautiful as a child and teenager. My sister was told she was intelligent. Absolutely awful for both of us. I had a life threatening eating disorder by my early 20s, my sister had an amazing career until she crashed so bad she also could have died. (Obviously shitty childhood in other ways played a big part in these). think my looks did help me in life, in that my DH was initially attracted to me because of them, and people have made positive assumptions about me because of my looks so I've grown up experiencing a lot of kindness and goodwill from strangers, colleagues etc. Now I'm nearly 40, I do sometimes feel afraid of what's left of me/ for me as I age. But my sister feels the same, she has no career anymore and also internalised this idea that she was unattractive so also has never had a boyfriend.

Having said that, I'm working really hard to reject the beautiful=young equation. I think young does =beautiful, but beautiful can be at any age. I see beautiful people of all ages. So I'm trying to identify what it is that makes these people beautiful. It's not Botox, but avoiding the short grey perm, and keeping weight down, and having confidence, and not wearing skinny jeans, and for some reason also not wearing hot pink! All seems part of it. I'm cultivating a 'I look glorious and I don't give a fuck what you think ' look.

I look less like a pretty fairy now, but I'm working on looking more like a sexy and slightly scary goddess. Surrounded by breathtakingly pretty fairies - my children.

This. 61, greys (or whites, I think) are appearing at my temples. I love them. Can’t wait to be completely white!
Don’t have much in the way of wrinkles, thanks to oily skin but I don’t think they’ll bother me when they come. Perfectly natural for someone of my age.

By this age you should have realised that beauty is within not what you look like. You can physically be the most beautiful in the room but unless you have that innner beauty it won’t be seen the sparkle won’t be there and people will see through it.

Focus on keeping my body fit and strong. Spend more time looking at the natural world than at myself. Embrace the crinkles.

Yeah it is what it is. I have botox, diet, get highlights, use self tan now and then, use good skincare products and makeup, get my lashes done, nails. I do care what I look like as I guess it has always been something like my currency. At school I had a big family trauma early secondary, so I feel sad that I never had the experience of being a carefree teen experimenting with hair, makeup etc. It just wasnt on my radar, so I focused on work etc. and did well without the distractions of looks.

Anyway, I found my confidence at uni, put on some weight as I was always very skinny, grew curves etc. Started wearing makeup. I remember clearly at one christmas party in a pub at home, a few years after school, I walked in and all the guys I was at school with did double takes, started nudging each other pushing each other towards me when I went to the bar etc. It was surreal. Some of them couldn't even look me in the eye. That was the first time I realised I could probably use my looks to my advantage.

However, im a decent person so instead of going full Regina George, I became more intelligent through study (I now have four university qualifications), more interesting through travel (have lived in a few countries) more compassionate through volunteering (community outreach projects, educational charities) and more maternal generally through not just having my kids, but happily being the central house of all their social gatherings, keeping fridge stocked etc. I also feel completely fulfilled through my work, which is with young people. My marriage has had ups and downs but we work on it....we have a lot of fun. Another thing, it is hard when you enter relationship....you wonder if they are with you for who you are or what you look like. I had a crisis of confidence recently and my husband said, look, we all get older, but I can't laugh with anyone like I do with you, and there's no one I'd rather spend time with. Which is golden to hear after 20 years together.

I always said I didn't care what i looked like but that is not true, and I can see those words are hollow coming from someone who has been lauded for their looks. Seeing the first wrinkles wasn't great. I then realised if I woke up looking like an average, overweight, 50 something older woman, (i dont know, like e.g. a Margaret from Wycombe being randomly interviewed on train strikes on the news) I wouldn't be too happy. Which made me question myself and realise I was actually very shallow.

However. I think I look better now than I did in my 20s when I was drinking too much, hanging around in smoky bars, eating crap, never taking my makeup off or getting enough sleep, etc. Obviously i look older. But I've worked hard to make sure my life is richer than just looks.

I just zipped up the very tight dress I wore to my hen do 16 years ago, when I dieted for our wedding (I've been actively losing a bit of weight as I've got a full on summer). Seeing my husband's reaction was worth it. I've seen pictures of myself looking pretty great in shorts and mini dresses at concerts/festivals recently and maybe when I was younger I'd have thought, God thats embarrassing being that old and still dressing young. Now, I just think, looking good is a small part of who I am. I won't pretend I don't care, because I do. So I am still a bit shallow 🤷‍♀️but I like to think there are hidden depths too! Humour, integrity, compassion. And I'm intent on passing that on to my pretty teens. I'm glad I didnt have social media in my youth. That could have set me on a self obsessed path.

I look better now at 42 than I did at 20. I have learned how to dress better and take care of myself better. That said, I do look younger than 42. One thing I will never do is get any form of cosmetic surgery as that is very ageing.

At last a post that really understands what OP is getting at. I really don’t think anyone who hasn’t been lauded for their beauty all their life can answer this.
All modesty aside, I have consistently been told I’m beautiful- still get told this now deep in middle age, but the imminent prospect of finally losing such a large part of my identity is upsetting to be totally honest. Intellectually I know it doesn’t matter and I have other good traits, but OP , it’s hard.