To think that most parents find saying ‘no’ to children very difficult?

No -but I'm a teacher, so it just rolls off my tongue with my own DC. They think I'm properly harsh.
My friends are all really good at saying no and having firm boundaries too, but we mostly met through attachment / gentle / authoritative parenting groups so it goes with the territory. My DC are happy to take "No" with zero explanation or justification as they trust my reasoning.

No issue saying no here and DD knows what no means

Why is everyone pretending that saying "no" is easy? It's a pain in the arse, the child fights back, you have to stand your ground. Not easy when you're exhausted.
I did and still say "no", many times, but I brace myself every time.
(And I think that's the right way. I would hate to have a limp child who accepts everything without questioning)

Tbh this is kind of my thinking - especially because you're only getting a snapshot out of a day and I would try to relax my boundaries for special occasions - for example ds rarely gets sugar but at a party I know that's going to happen so I go with it.

I see no issue with the last cupcake tbh, someone needs to eat the last one and for me that's fine as long as everyone has had one. Nor would I dictate that they have to finish any food when they feel done. To me that's also part of kids learning their limits.

The slushy thing is similar - I wouldn't give that to ds because of his age, if he starts whining because another kid gets it - that's okay. He's still not getting one. But I also wouldn't expect everyone to only take squash simply incase they start a domino effect.

When I want to meet to catch up with friends properly, I'll ring them or we'll meet up without the kids, I'm not going on a playdate to pretend my kid doesn't exist nor would I expect them to do that with theirs. Ds is currently going through the phase of interrupting and turning my face to him when I'm talking to someone and I'll correct that but I also won't expect him to sit there bored while I chat. There's a balance I guess is what I'm trying to say and that'll be different for everyone and will depend on the day.

And I say no to my ds all the time, to the point I've actually started working on trying to find ways to say 'yes' more often without compromising my boundaries with him so everything isn't just a no and a conflict. I do think sometimes I catch myself saying no to things I could actually be saying yes to, and it's usually more because I'm actually feeling a bit dysregulated than because it's an issue.

I also think some parents are maybe trying to ensure their kids have a different experience growing up than they had which isn't a bad thing in itself. I think most people on the whole are trying their best and want the best for their kids.

Tbf parents are also picking their battles. You wouldn't really know what else has been going on that day/week whatever.

I also think society has absolutely no patience for children or parents or parenting and some just handle that weight better than others.

Yes you're right some parents are like this and it's quite infuriating. I have a friend who allows her 6yo son to completely rule everything she does, he is incredibly rude and demanding, he told us we had to stop talking to each other because our voices were annoying him and she instantly stopped chatting to me! I have had to distance myself from her because I refuse to be dictated to by a 6yo.

I'm pretty sure my 2 year old thinks his name is no at this point.

The TV one wouldn’t really bother me - I’ve never known a child want that at a play date but if both kids were happy 🤷‍♀️

The rest I’d say no to, but most parents have different boundaries to one another.

I say no. I don’t say it to things I don’t think are an issue.

Never had an issue myself, and my dc appreciated my parenting to the extent one of my DD’s is in the military and said if they needed childcare help (as in months not a weekend) they would ask me not mil who has offered, unfortunately for them I’m not keen!!!)

Yes I think you're right, and I think it's getting worse.
Don't get me wrong, I think we can all be guilty of it sometimes, but if it's constant it becomes a problem....kids need boundaries.
But it makes parents lives easier just to say yes to whatever the kids want and avoid tantrums or having to actually go the effort of debating something, getting involved etc, so some just become accustomed to take the easy route I think.
It's just the same with screen time.....it's easier to not put boundaries in with it to 'keep the peace' (and also stop people having to parent for awhile!) but of course it's not the right approach, and parents don't realise they will often pay for these attitudes later with disrespectful and entitled teenagers/young adults who have no self discipline as they haven't been held to account for anything or encouraged to consider others and take responsibility.

But are these all separate incidents OP?

If so I think you're being judgemental as, in my experience, while some parents are more averse to disciplining than others, mostly it seems parents are concerned about different things

Yeah I’d say no to all that. I don’t enjoy it because I’ll get whinging back but still, you have to say no sometimes.

I think that most parents say no because they know that it’s the right thing to do sometimes and the ones who don’t are setting their kids up for problems with their peers and school because they won’t hesitate to say no when appropriate.

I'd say yes to those things but no to others.

What makes you right and me wrong?

Edit apart from the role play thing

I think all I say to my kids is "no".

But then, I am a monster.

You are absolutely not wrong.
Children need to hear the word no, it’s a simple fact of life that you cannot have everything you want, when you want it!

I frequently notice it with parents who don’t seem to notice their child scream shouting in public places or running around restaurants/supermarkets.

A lot of parents will do anything for an easy life, I fear it will bite them on the behind massively the older the child gets.

There's a difference between being afraid to say no, and having different boundaries from other parents.

I'm happy to say no, but I also allow a lot of things that maybe other parents wouldn't. So you might think I'm a lax/useless parent, but the reality is that your boundary is not necessarily my boundary. And that's fine, so long as we're all tolerant enough to understand that different people parent differently. Of course there is a core of unacceptable behaviour, like hitting etc., and I find I'm busy quite often if invited to spend time with parents who can't deal with bad behaviour that directly affects others.

I used to have a second job doing child minding/babysitting through an agency.

One day was at a new family's house for the first time. Trying to have a chat with mum and 4 year old started hitting me with a stick. She ignored it. I asked him to stop hitting me because it wasn't very nice to hit people.
She told me off for telling him off.

Oddly I found I was always to busy to go back there again...

I cannot abide parents letting their children interrupt adult conversations! It's so rude and all it does is teach the child that the world revolves around them!
And people wonder why their children have problems adapting to real life once they leave school ......

Might be the people you know. I have a relative who proudly doesn’t say no to her two and it shows. But all the families we’re friends with and spend time with can and do say no.

I bore myself to tears if I end up saying it too often, if mine are being relatively reasonable I’d far rather say yes later or offer an alternative or something rather than repeating no but if I never said no they’d probably be dead.

No problem for me.

I wouldn’t mind the slushie instance though. It happens all the time. I just say different parents have different rules and she can’t have one.

Some parents are like this.

I also meet just as many parents who create rules for rules sake.

Neither children’s behaviour seems munch different based on these strategies tbh, so I don’t think it’s the main factor in influencing the child’s behaviour.

It might just be in front of you because of what comes next,in our family it can work out fine or result in a row, we are working with our ten yo because his go to is storming off. They might say no usually but are afraid of what it reveals about their family if they say it in front of you.