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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am i wrong?

30 replies

AmberOtter · 06/07/2025 19:21

Sooo basically my DH has found very innocent work related messages on my phone today from a male work colleague- talking about work stuff etc- all 100% innocent. My DH has gone ballistic, calling me all the names under the sun, a cheat and insulting the way i look.

He is of the thought process that men and woman can’t be friends as it always leads to something!! Obviously I disagree and will be getting my ducks in a row as this is the final straw- some things can’t be unsaid- but wondered what others thought about this?

OP posts:
Original poster
AmberOtter · 06/07/2025 19:56

He’s threatening to go to my work to ‘have it out’ with my work colleague. eurgh what a mess!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmberOtter · 06/07/2025 19:55

@Mollypolly2610 yea he snooped!

OP posts:
tarheelbaby · 06/07/2025 19:52

So there are two issues here. The first issue is your DH's opinion on your contacts. He shouldn't have one.

Ask your DH if you can delete any of his contacts ... Yeah, he doesn't even want to explain them, does he ...

My DH never had an opinon on my contacts nor would I have tolerated any restrictions on my contacts, personal or professional. I am an adult. I do as I please. End of ... Nor did I ever ask DH about his contacts.

The other is your work colleague(s). I have some work conacts on my phone. I collected them from a work related WhatsApp. Some of these conacts are male some of them are female. I hit them up as and when. They are incredibly useful but I hardly use them.

Mollypolly2610 · 06/07/2025 19:52

And how did he "find" your messages that's worse!

Batbrown · 06/07/2025 19:50

Nope. You are not wrong. Good for you for preparing to leaving. Paranoid and controlling behaviour is unacceptable.