Adult children didn’t come down to meet their cousins baby

And three of them did. The other two had a pressing reason not to.

Very true, but that’s a total pain for everyone else around them. People will only have so much sympathy for someone who point blank refuses to help themselves - hence the OP’s frustration. Even her brother will get fed up of that soon enough.

Wallowing (what you call “empathy”, though it really isn’t) is never good for anyone, and I find adults who think it is bizarre. Life goes on - far better to join in than not.

I don’t agree. She might have been fine until five minutes before the cousin came. Who knows. In either case I’m not even sure this is a genuine post because OP started by saying the kids were too/tired bored to come down, then dropped a completely different scenario, so we’re probably wasting our time arguing.

Some people overly concerned with manners, less with a young woman having a seriously bad time.

Omg ffs. A "seriously bad time". She is 24, she broke up with boyfriend. Its upsetting but its life? This sort of thing happens a lot. Life has its ups and downs, life goes on. Nobody died. If she'd come downstairs maybe the distraction would have helped. Sitting dwelling on misery doesn't help you through it. Sounds like she needs a bit of perspective in life, there are people living in war zones, children dying etc.

I would say that if you seriously feel that a cousin visiting with her baby when you’re in the middle of a major crisis means you need to slap on a smile and appear regardless, then you should probably have a hard think about why you think ‘manners’ are more important than basic self-care. I bet if the visiting cousin knew the truth, she’d have been the first to say she shouldn’t dream of coming down.

I agree, but putting yourself first doesn't mean being rude and ignoring guests.

If she was that upset she couldn't face her cousin, she should have gone home as planned, not hidden away upstairs.

She has her own house! She is only 'in her childhood bedroom' because she is at home for her father's birthday. OP is making a ridiculous fuss over nothing, she should be happy that the family all came home to celebrate their father without demanding that everyone make a fuss about the act of someone having given birth

I ageee about the blocking, but not everyone has perfect control of their emotions, nor should they have to, nor is it a particularly healthy approach. Sometimes you really do have to put yourself first.

Or maybe some of us feel that going through a bad time isn't an excuse for bad manners.

Some people just lack manners.

Some people would say that a grown woman sobbing in her childhood bedroom like a teenager over a breakup is idiotic too. OP needs to tell her to block the boyfriend and remind her that the entire world doesn't revolve around her.

She can still dry her eyes and put on a smile for a few minutes.

If she's that upset, she should block the ex, not let him text her constantly

Yes, humans aren’t perfect especially when emotions come into play.

They were rude and childish. As adults they should know how to behave politely with family - it would have taken them 2 minutes to come downstairs, say hello to cousin and acknowledge the baby with a smile.

Some people don’t like babies 🤷‍♂️

Some people overly concerned with manners, less with a young woman having a seriously bad time.

She’s choosing not to block the ex, thus she’s choosing not to help herself.

Yes I’m sure she chose to break down in tears.

Of course she was hiding away. She knew her cousin was due to visit and chose to hide away upstairs instead of either a) going back home as planned or b) wiping her eyes and sucking it up for five minutes to be polite.

No, it's not all about the cousin - it's about having basic manners, break up or no break up

Breathtakingly rude. I'd be gutted if my children grew up and behaved like this. It reflects horribly on you and DH too.

So many people these days think the world should revolve around their own wants and needs, no matter how it affects those around us.

Not everything is about the cousin and whether she finds their lack of appearance rude then, no?

I’d give your daughter a pass here, because she was going through a lot and I imagine it might have been difficult for her to hold it together in front of her cousin.

Your son, however, has no excuse for not coming down for a couple minutes to say hello. It’s not about whether he likes his cousin or whether he likes babies - it’s about spending three whole hours refusing to acknowledge the presence of a guest on the house. “Hi, Rosie. Congratulations. Oh, there’s the baby - wow, what big eyes! How’re you doing? Ah, well, good to see you. Congratulations again.” Absolute basic manners.

Well I think putting perceived rudeness over someone’s distress is incredibly lacking in emapthy. If they’re not even close, the cousin probably couldn’t care less

Why so we have to hide our emotions for someone else convenience?
Because not everything is about our own emotions, that's why. Sometimes we have to do things that are unpleasant, or awkward, or boring. That's life.

This,,she's 24, yes its a break up but if he already texting about some else hes met, presumably its been not happened this morning. Life goes on, we can't just sink into a puddle of our emotions any time anything bad happens and then stay there. Its rude. She just need to pull herself together for a few mins to pop downstairs, say congratulations etc, then she could have politely made excuses/said she was tired, she didn't have to sit for 3 hours she just had to be polite.