Oh no, I’m going to be ‘that’ hen organiser everyone hates!

This is WILD to me.
As PP said, I would chip in for a meal, but there's no way I would ever be in a friend group where we were expected to cover all of the costs.

I think the hen/stag culture is a bit strange anyway (but I know that is an unpopular opinion).

We are in a COL crisis. Most people don't have the disposable income they used to, and I think events like this should be aware of and begin to reflect that.

I see so many posts on here from people who can't afford to attend but feel pressure etc.

I would be honest with your sister and say you didn't realise. I think if you've already asked for more money than agreed, you really can't go back and ask for more now.

I know she is your sister, but she is being a cheeky fucker expecting the hens to pay for her train ticket.

Don’t ask for more money at this point. Either ask your sister to pay and apologise for missing that bit. Or cover it yourself (loan from mum and dad?!)

I don’t think the bride should be paid for, however…

If, as the OP says, this is how it’s done in the bride’s circle of friends, then the bride may already have contributed to the costs of 8 previous brides in her group going on their hen dos.

It would be a bit unfair on her if she was the only one who had to pay for her own.

This! And I’d also be really embarrassed if I found out that my closest friends & family were being asked to send more & more money to avoid me just paying for myself!

Is she refusing?

I think it’s really taking the piss as a bride to expect your hens to fund your weekend away tbh. Fair enough if the hen do is an evening out, bride doesn’t pay for the meal and gets drinks bought. But a weekend with travel, accommodation, food and drink, and activities? No, the bride shouldn’t expect everything covered for her.

Why apparently not? Is she refusing?

This.

How did you find this out?

I wouldnt expect to cover the hens main costs like travel and accommodation. I would expect to taking turns with others buying her drinks, maybe dinner etc, buying some accessories if doing the dressing up thing.

The bride can cover her own costs getting there. Having other people pay to celebrate your lifestyle choices is entitled.

Either tell your sister that she’s paying for herself or you pay for her.

This is why I always turn down hen parties. There’s always more costs and cheeky fuckery. It’s endless with hen do’s

Sorry but why should you have to pay for the bride? You're already under a lot of stress and financial commitment through having to attend this hen do, and more financial expectation will come with the wedding no doubt.

Why do people think their wedding is SO important?

We were happy with a gathering of friends at the local pub - and WE put money behind the bar!

I would not be happy to be asked for more money at this stage. But then I don’t get why your sister isn’t paying her own way. Just remind her to book her train ticket and then forget about it! If she herself has said she won’t pay, just laugh and tell her not to be such a CF.

It's a shame someone else in the blushing bride's circle with more experience of organising such events couldn't have taken on this particular one.
I'm got to stop reading about modern day hen gatherings. Most of them seem over-long, over-complex, ludicrously expensive (worryingly so for some) and mightily stressful for the poor unfortunate organiser.
And I'm convinced that contrary to the joyful pictures on social media many attendees are there by obligation and don't enjoy enforced merry-making, often with random women they'd normally avoid like the plague.
FF's sake, just book out a room in any decent pub, club or hotel with a sound system, organise a simple buffet, get ratarsed, have some laughs, let people escape if they want to - and then go home in pre-ordered taxis. Simples.
Anyone who can't make it is probably relieved to be in that situation if truth be told.

What a thankless task - just send the message asking for another 15/20£ each or whatever is it and apologise and say you got the maths wrong. Im not saying your sister should be paid for but hopefully shes only getting married once and theres enough of you to make the costs smaller

Just ask the hen to pay for her own ticket….expecting the hens to pay is unreasonable let alone asking them last minute.

When you say you cant afford to pay for the travel, do you mean you cant cover the whole cost yourself, or you cant afford to contribute?

But for what its worth I hate this practice

In my world people pay their own hen or not

💯
You pay for her OP, she's your sister!

This! It shouldn't be a free event for the hen!

You might have to just take the hit for this one OP, depending on the people invited & their finances.

I have also got a friend’s hen do next weekend and of the 12 people going I know that at least 4 of them would say no or would say yes but then be unable to attend the weekend as a result of having to pay more money at this late stage. Lots of people budget quite tightly now, there’s no space for unexpected expenses.

I’m happy to cover a meal for the bride but no bloody way would I attend a hen do where I was expected to cover the bride’s entire trip. That’s total cheeky fucker territory.

Who told you she wouldn't pay it herself? She's your sister, so id just let her know what it'll cost her and that it wasn't included in the costs for the others.

Alternatively just let the other hens know you didn't realise they covered this in their circle and hasn't included it and it's xx amount and see what they say.

Is she in the WhatsApp organising it or have you don’t it as a surprise? Is she refusing to buy her own ticket?