Annoyed with mum bringing sibling to playdates

That’s so judgemental 🤣🤣🤣 you clearly only have the one DC.

What if the dad works weekends? Or what if she wants to spend time with BOTH her DC. I’m not being funny but unless someone exclusively said to me ‘I want the kids to play 1:1 (which would be a weird request IMO, I probably wouldn’t come as I’d assume you have a problem with my other kid), I would always bring my other DC.

If i am “nearby” then surely i am supervising in some way?

@Isitreallysohard

You definitely have never had a 7 year old.

Good luck for the future with your attitudes.

I'm getting confused now, I thought you were going to softplays and parks? In which case I think its unfair to expect the 7 year old to not join in

If you are going to the house of the 7 year old then you are saying that you expect them to stay in their room and play alone so your child can have 1 on 1 with the silbing

You can't control the actions of a 7 year old, if my eldest saw my youngest having fun with a friend they would want to join in and the other way round too.

Now if I've missed the point and the mum is bringing both the siblings to your house where she hasn't asked if that's okay, then I think its fair for you to request the eldest isn't included however expect that the playdates will stop if she hasn't got childcare support

The "PFB" comments suggest bitterness towards those who have not opted to juggle multiple children.
So what if the OP is clueless about how difficult it is to balance the needs of a seven year old and a three year old? Maybe she doesn't ever want to be a referee of multiples herself, or she wants her son to enjoy this period of not having a sibling where activities can be focused on him.

As she's done it once - or now several times, it's the norm that elder sibling comes too - it's not going to stop unless you have a conversation with her about it.

Say the younger one deems comfortable now, why doesn't she leave him and have 1:1 time with the older child.

You don’t think a 7 year old would play with 3/4 year olds in their own home. Do you think they’d just ignore them?

This is the age gap between my children and our eldest always played with his younger siblings.

If the 7yo "dominates" - does that just means plays with both children? Is there something really wrong with your 3yo playing more with one child than their Designated Friend?

Don't get me wrong, I can see that you find it annoying, but the source of annoyance seems to be the Wrong Child Playing?

Sometimes shy children feel safer/happier with a leading friend/sibling.

Op honestly get a grip of your comments. All children like to play... 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 year olds can all play together and over the years many play dates have I seen this. On top of everything else now you want us to believe this is weird. Whats weird is how obsessed you are and making up a whole backstory that the younger one is shy because of the older sibling. Like seriously you sound more childish then the kids on the play date. Don't invite them out again. End of.

But don’t know for certain the father is available to look after the 7yo?

I only have one child and think you’re being bonkers! Play dates are for the kids to have a good time at that age, they don’t need to bond one on one that will progress naturally over time

You think it’s weird for a 7yo to play with a 4yo sibling in their own home?!

I think many are being obtuse tbh.

If my 4 year old is invited on a playdate, I WOULD NOT automatically think, I'll just take along my 8 year old and they can play too.

I'd take the 8 year old to do something else and let the Mum who's hosting to supervise the little ones.

What am I missing here, people seem so vehement that it's not rude to insert a sibling into the invitation.

Answer the question again when your child is 7.
Seven year olds don't entertain themselves for hours on end without needing some interaction from an adult!

And that’s fine that’s your choice. Same as OP has the choice to not invite this parent/child to play anymore.

its your child that potentially misses out but again thats completely your decision.

Some of these replies are baffling. I have 3 kids and at no point did I ever bring along a sibling to a playdate. Siblings don’t have to be tied at the hip, it’s healthy to have time apart and establish their own friendships. I would enjoy having 1:1 with my other child during this time but then again I’ve always periodically spent individual time with my children as I feel it’s important they get my undivided attention - I once had a mum so bemused when she heard every now and then I’d treat one of the kids to a cafe trip etc - she’d never thought of spending time with her kids alone! (I understand this is not so easy if you are a single parent).

@Isitreallysohard you are deluded if you think 7 year olds don't need supervision.

YANBU. You aren't a creche.

Oh wow OP, I’m guessing this is your pfb! 3 years old and you expect exclusive 1 to 1 friendships and play dates .. you really have a lot to learn. As for the “her DC is so shy, which I assume is because they have zero independence from their sibling” comment - that’s quite offensive actually - you’re assuming an awful lot here. Good luck as your dc grows up.

It boggles the mind.

It never occurred to me to ask people’s permission to take my kids to the park in case they feel their child isn’t getting sufficient 1:1 time with my 3 year old

At the very least, she should have the courtesy to ask whether it is okay if she brings the elder sibling.
It's just bad manners turning up with an extra/unexpected kid in tow.